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 Jun 2018 Barker
kas
did i ever tell you about
the dream i had where
your name was on
every page of my phone book
and all the numbers were wrong
what about the one where
i'm in the hospital
and every doctor that
checks my pulse and takes my blood
has your face
or how about the one where
you're dying of cancer
and you can't stop yourself
from living life too fast?
and you swear the answer to
every question is a
significant something from your past
like
cigarette smoke and diet coke
and the weary tone of your grandfather's voice
as he spoke about the end of all things
and we had to remind you to stop
saying such sharp things as
words sliced your throat
and we all choked.
what about the one where
you roll your eyes at me
as we're flying through the windshield
your spine snapped as you
told me it was my fault
we crashed the car
i spit my heart up on the pavement
and watch it beat.
how about the one where
you keep sticking your fingers
in my hair to warm them up, and
every time you pull away
my mouth falls open and fills the room
with a thousand reasons to stay
or how about all the bad ones
where the only time your eyes hold
any color is when they aren't
locked with mine
the ones where the entire world
goes silent when you speak
and i can never quite catch
what you're saying.
 Jun 2018 Barker
f
or even remember that
despite my sheer smallness and insignificance
writing poems helps me sleep
like weaving my own tapestry of bedtime stories
something larger than life to me

but i’ve forgotten how to write, i guess
i’ve forgotten how to sleep
and how much i loved both
granted, they felt like secondhand talents
thing i’d learned to love only because this pretty girl did
or this pretty boy told me i made words dance and twist

i’ve forgotten how to breathe, as well,
without every other breath sounding like a heavy sob
that i can’t stifle, simply because everyone keeps me at a distance
i might as well be standing alone
in a hallway with the whitest walls;

again, i’ve forgotten how to write poems
i can’t even find the words to tell you
how empty walking near you feels

it’s a distant memory to me,
writing poems
sleeping
breathing

a bit of the distance i’ve wedged there myself
like when i see someone being held
held like that is the only thing keeping them intact
i feel just a little more cracked

but believe me,
being touched makes me cower in fear
and i feel nothing
not the warmness of another body,
not the softness of someone’s heart,
whose made themselves vulnerable enough that you can see right through them

i can’t make myself that sheer
maybe invisible,
but not so crystal clear that you know what is inside;
it’s disgusting,
and you would not be in in the least bit interested,
unless maybe i was crying.
 Jun 2018 Barker
Ashly Kocher
You know the saying
“There are two sides to every story?”
Well...
I believe there are three sides to every story....
The front cover....
     The back cover synopsis...
                  And
Everything in between that can be portrayed in many different ways....

Let that sink in for a moment...
 Jun 2018 Barker
kyss
scared
 Jun 2018 Barker
kyss
I'm scared
scared by how I feel about you
scared you'll run
when you see the pain
inside me
when you see how bad
I really am
how broken and messed up
my mind is
how much I'm dealing with
I'm scared you'll run
like the others did
I'm scared you'll leave
because of me
 Jun 2018 Barker
John Stevens
You are the love
And light of my life.
We have been through Joy
We've been through strife.

Your love carried me
when I was nearly gone
You encouraged me to Stand firm
To get up, walk forward, to go on.

It has been fifty two years
Since we met that day.
Your red coat, blond hair...
Oh so beautiful I must say....
                       Even today.

Days gone by are memories now
The building blocks of love today.
The tests of time has made us better
Our Foundation is strong in every way.

I am the luckiest guy in the world
To be the one married to you my Love.
May we continue and grow in love
With help and love from Above.

Love You Forever and Always

Thanks Babe.

(C) 02-14-2017
She cried.
The first two lines came from my Love. The rest written on a McDonalds receipt after dropping grandkids off at school.
 Jun 2018 Barker
kyss
playlist
 Jun 2018 Barker
kyss
I sit at home
headphones in my ears
a playlist by you
blasting in my ears
thinking of nothing but
how much I wish
you were here
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