Oh how i yearn to be beautiful.
I desire to be deep.
I have the urge to touch the hearts of many... With every word that i speak.

I just want my story to be heard.
So that all the lost souls know,
They are far from alone.
I want to reach out and be someone's shoulder to cry on, even though I know that I do not have my own.

Isn't remarkably astounding how the people with The most problems try to solve problems?
In essence, this somehow helps me.
To look into the eyes of another person and just listen to their story…
Yes, in actuality.
This heals me.
Just being a muse, via the words i let these stanzas speak.
With their Complex simplicity.
I yearn to exude beauty.
& change lives
By just being me.

The smell of Adidas sports cologne kissed my nose as i gripped your door handle and swung open the chance to finally be involved in something great.

Your eyes were this deep blue color that I wanted to dive into just so i could pretend to drown and you could save me.

i couldn't quite figure out why i so badly wanted to be your forever but i knew that when your hands held mine forever didn't seem so far away.

because
your hands were home
your heart was lovely
and your lips made my heart beat fast and my hands shake

your cheeks always turned this red pink color when your mom told me things that embarrassed you and your fingers always brushed your hair back as the wind tried to push it forward

your eyes were mind blowing
your ears were forever listening
and i never could figure out why when i stared into your eyes i couldnt hear a thing

i didn't ever need anything. because when you held me i knew i had it all

i don't care what anyone else thinks when when they look at you because

when i look at you. i see something so beautiful
when i look at you. my heart sometimes beats a little too fast
when I look at you.. i cant help but want to be the girl you love forever
but i know that forever never means forever


forever means until someone else better passes by
forever means until my mothers decides
forever means until i feel like loving you is too much a task

love should always come as natural as breathing becomes easy..
love is not a task
love is not a mission

love is simple.
love tries, love kisses sweetly and never wants anything else
love is the way i feel when i see you and i think that im your forever
but isn't forever a little too far fetched

Our explosive behaviors where the water you which you were mixed with the cesium i am , or you claimed me to be

the atmosphere which we claimed to breathe from was hydrogen sulfide and yet that angiosperm which we claimed was poisoned with love never spouted.

however both of us being from the biosphere you acted like something that fell off of saturn full of air and water

you say my attitude was the reactant from which your heart thawed and combusted
though i believed other wise because your brain was made from only 1 cell and your heart was made of arsenic which flowed through my veins the night your lips infected mine.

Our relationship was not a commensaism and you did not harm me while i harmed you

your foolish frequencies flopped me right to the bottom of your food chain where fugus flourished and fooled me right into falling for you
our love was the hypothesis proven correct of Romeo and Juliet killing both of us in the end

you were an invertebrate that sent lighting through my limiting factor dressing me with barium
but too much pressure on my heart caused a reaction that Einstein himself couldn't solve

Love is a 4 letter word that i refuse to believe because of the way i saw my mom break when my dad walked out
Because of 1 syllable that can destroy every bit of a beating heart
Love is a 4 letter word that i refuse to believe because in 3rd grade when my best friend told me he loved me he stabbed me in the back and stole my favorite pencil

Because love feels god when lips are touched and promises are made but what about when tears shed or when the first boy who says he "loves" you kisses your best friend and lies like a coward leaving ur heart ripped and shredded
Love IS cruel and  love IS rude and boastful

Love is why piggy back rides and video games are so fun and why two dollar burritos and mountain dew taste so good
but Love is also why falling off your bike hurts so bad or why failing the only test you studied all night for kills your gpa
Love takes away pain but then shoves it right back into your wounds

Love is a 4 letter word i refuse to believe because of the way I see the  old couple walking down the street and I'm scared that won't ever happen to me

I love him.  I've loved him since the night we sat on that swing pouring out every piece of our hearts in October.
& its a love that wrecks and worries but it's also a heart that smiles and tickles and stares for no reason. It's a love that has you falling apart on a Saturday night but then it's a love that has you feeling blessed on that Sunday morning. It's a love that has left me with a damp cheek an empty bank account and angry nights. It's a love that makes me feel like the sky. Never ending ... mysterious but absolutely beautiful. He's not a dream he's real. Definitely real. And sometimes people say things like "why him" "Why can't you just leave him"
But I just laugh. I used to wish for a type of love like this. And out of all of the types of love it's a love that revives & forgives in the morning
It's not a love that holds grudges & walks out
I will always love your never shaved face, your long talks about music, rude jokes and all
Our love is revival
It makes each other new every morning with every smile and every look
It's a love that waits hours for a text and a love that makes life a little sweeter.  

It's a love that calls in the morning and says "I miss you. Even though I saw you last night"