I cant say I feel anything.  Anything at all.
I should be mad.
I should be crying.
screaming.
But im not.
Im numb. Numb enough to let sorry just in one ear and out the other.
Numb enough to keep you.
numb enough to give you the chance to hurt me again.
I want to cry. But im afraid if I do then ill show I care to much.
walls were once destroyed only because I let you... but im too numb now to even try and build them again.
Ill sit here like broken glass just waiting to be swept up and thrown in the trash like many times before.

His name meant worker of roof tiles
Putting together the new roof work on  my house that was once destroyed by everyone that has ever stepped foot near it
You glued it sealed it and made sure it could never be damaged again
Your work was very expensive and cost me happiness at times.
I remember when you first told me you loved me and that was the day that I knew my house would never be ruined by any natural disaster again.
I knew that if you saw something in me that I couldn't even see in my self you were it.
I knew that eventually the slow sweet kisses would go and that storm wold strike again
But the battles were fought
The kisses got sweeter and my tile is still secure by the greatest man I've ever known

If I tell you I love you will you say it back or would you just give me an excuse for why you can't feel the same
If I promise you I won't leave will you believe me or you would take advantage of that
If I reach for your hand will you act like you don't see it or would you grab it and not let go
Could we be the type of people that don't care what anyone else says
If I tell you things I keep within would you tell the people that try and **** me or swear you'll never say a word
If everything tries to ruin us would you let it or fight for me
If people say we aren't meant would you buy into their words or forget they even spoke
Could we be the type of people that wont let society shape us  
If I write you poetry would you read between the lines or would you throw it away with the other pieces of that unwanted  tree
If I try and pull you in will you **** away or kiss me sweetly
Could we be the couple who never changes our minds
Lastly.
If I loved you like I've ever loved another being could you love me more or leave me pondering for a savior

I was just a little girl to young to understand the meaning of your belittling words and the way you grabbed her.
The way you just did what you did like I couldn't see a thing
You stood there screaming and making my mother feel the absolute worst she ever could all because you though she was "late" for the third time
You put your finger in her face waving it side to side as if she had something to owe you, and at five years old I didn't know if I should run in my room for try and put the complicating pieces together
I didn't know why two weeks later you ran off or why for some reason you couldn't call after slapping my mother in the face because she was late
If only I was old enough to understand and tall enough to reach my three and a half foot self up and slap you right back for making my mother feel like a fool
But that same blood that sacrificed so much for me and my big sister couldn't slap you back?
Maybe it's because she had too much respect for the five year old standing in front of this all of a sudden David and Goliath match off
I thank you now
Thank you for slapping ever piece of a woman out of my mother because at that moment it finally slapped some sense in her brain to leave you and then to never speak of your existence again.

I'm just living for moments to make me feel alive but in the end I'm still always empty.
Or maybe that feeling just comes from how you left me alone that night
No explanation, no call, no nothing
Just the wondering in my soul of what I did or what I said
You told me their was no girl like me but yet that was your excuse for being inside of all of them
I'm glad I didn't settle for all your pathetic lies and the things you said to try and make me feel like I'm something I'm not.
In reality I'm lost and broken but you could never see that
I felt for you
I still feel but it's nothing but hate.

Your fingers intertwined the hands of a broken heart, and your eyes stared into the soul of desperate girl
Your words made everything in me come back to life but at other times crucified me just the same.
Your legs chased me around the house, while smiling and making me forget everything outside those four walls
Your lips made me forget what anyone else's ever felt like
Your tears drowned me and filled me with every single bit of your emotions
Your arms held me while soaking your t-shirt because I just wanted us to be okay.
Your mind made me fall into everything we are like a black hole in the middle of something beautiful
You.
You made me everything I've always wished to be
And You simply are remarkable.