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badwords Mar 28
The cacophony of life
has left me deaf
muted and drowned
in the rancor

This lonely crowd
that engulfs me
Phones set to 'Loud'
Invisibility

So close to touch
So far away
Robbed and such
'Social' dismay


A machine demanding more.
badwords Nov 2024
When Donald Trump does a push-up, he pushes the earth away.
He counted to infinity, TWICE, all in one day!
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Trump each night,
For under his  ̶t̶o̶u̶p̶e̶e̶ ̶ TOTALLY LEGIT HAIR™  is another fist, ready to fight.

When he enters a room, darkness runs out in fear,
He can slam a revolving door, make silence appear.
He doesn’t sleep, he waits—he doesn’t blink, he stares,
And gravity bows when he takes the stairs.

When Donald Trump looks in the mirror, it shatters from awe,
He has no age; time itself is held by his law.
He’s the reason Waldo is always well-hidden,
In Trump’s world, rules are forbidden.

His tears cure cancer—too bad he never cries,
And every hand he’s dealt is aces in disguise.
Death once knocked on his door, then quickly fled—
For even the Grim Reaper fears Donald Trump instead.
#donaldtrump #maga #onlyalphamales #luxuriouslocksofgoldenhair #fruitsnamedafterpeople

https://ibb.co/h83xZxg
badwords Aug 2024
She's up there again.
Where do I even begin?

A blanket, a keyboard.
Scratching, I abhorred.

The life of a kitten.
badwords Feb 21
You say you spilled your guts,
bled for a love that drained you dry—
your wounds are real, raw,
carved in shadows of pain.
You call yourself an empath,
and name your enemy a vampire;
it's clean, it's simple,
a comforting division
of white knights and dark demons,
a story that absolves,
that keeps you safe,
but what if it's just another cage?

No one doubts your hurt—
it breathes in every line,
a trembling hand,
seeking solace in naming the villain.
Yet you draw the battle lines
in shades of absolutes,
as if hearts and scars
could be painted in pure black and white.
Empath versus vampire,
saint versus sinner,
but where, in these crisp edges,
is the fragile truth
that all are wounded,
that all who wound were wounded too?

You speak of healing,
and yet weaponize words
that were meant to mend,
to stitch and soothe,
to rewrite old traumas
into songs of understanding.
Instead, they sharpen,
twisting therapy into blades
that cut only one way,
and you—
the so-called empath—
risk becoming the wielder,
carving villainy from vulnerability.

Have you looked into the mirror,
beyond the mask of innocence?
Have you asked why you clung
to toxic tides,
why self-abandonment
became your chosen dance?
Did you ever wonder
how your wounds
might have wounded too,
that love and pain
can flow in circles,
a symbiosis of mutual hurt,
no vampire, no angel—
just two lost souls
tangled in the dark?

True empathy is not selective,
cannot bloom only
for the ones we deem worthy.
Empathy, fully known,
holds space even for those
whose brokenness
has broken us.
It asks the hardest questions,
dares to understand
even when understanding stings.
It does not absolve blindly,
nor condemn swiftly—
it sees humans, not monsters,
in the shadows we cast.

You say you broke the cycle,
and yet the cycle lives
in words of blame,
of unexamined anger,
of self-righteous tears.
Healing lies not in battle cries
of "empath versus vampire,"
but in the quiet admission
that pain is complex,
that every villain
once called themselves a victim,
that every victim
holds the power
to wound, to misunderstand,
to refuse the mirror's harsh truth.

Step beyond the narrative
of simple heroes and villains.
Let healing rewrite itself,
not as absolution,
but as accountability.
Not as innocence reclaimed,
but as wisdom earned.
Let empathy grow vast,
embracing all that hurts—
yours, theirs, ours—
until labels dissolve,
and the enemy,
once dehumanized,
stands revealed:
not as a vampire,
but a reflection
of our deepest, shared humanity.

For only then,
when we own our part,
when we see ourselves in the other,
can wounds become windows,
and love—
messy, flawed, imperfect—
find room to breathe,
not as war,
but as mutual forgiveness,
one humble step at a time.
An answer to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4985445/the-aftermath-of-narcissist-vs-empath/

'Empathy' is a reflective long-form poem that challenges the simplistic narrative often found in discourse about toxic relationships—particularly those labeling one party as an "empath" and the other as a "vampire" or narcissist. The poem critiques the ease with which individuals absolve themselves of accountability by adopting the empath identity, highlighting the potential harm in using therapeutic language to demonize others. Rather than perpetuating a binary of victim and villain, the poem urges introspection, mutual empathy, and the recognition that true healing requires acknowledging the complexities of human relationships. It calls for a deeper understanding, urging individuals to confront their own roles in painful dynamics, encouraging growth beyond blame.


The artist’s intent behind this counter-poem is rooted in genuine compassion, self-reflection, and the desire for authentic healing. Rather than dismissing the pain experienced by self-identified empaths, the artist aims to deepen the conversation by introducing nuance and balance. They seek to gently challenge readers to examine their own contributions to toxic relationships, inviting a more holistic form of empathy that extends even to those who've caused harm. This work does not minimize suffering but proposes that true recovery and peace are possible only through mutual understanding, accountability, and self-awareness. Ultimately, the artist intends to foster dialogue that moves beyond simplistic blame, transforming personal pain into collective wisdom, and encouraging healing grounded in shared humanity.

___


In contemporary discussions about relationships, trauma, and healing, therapeutic and psychiatric terminology has become commonplace. Words like “empath,” “narcissist,” “trauma bond,” and “gaslighting” have moved from clinical contexts into everyday language, offering powerful tools for understanding and validating personal experiences. However, this widespread adoption of psychiatric vocabulary also brings a significant and often overlooked risk: the potential to weaponize language intended for healing.

This poem and its counterpoint reveal a critical tension in the way therapeutic terms can be used not only to foster self-awareness and growth but also to cast blame, absolve oneself of accountability, or demonize others. In the name of healing, these terms are sometimes wielded to categorize individuals into simplistic binaries—victim versus villain, empath versus vampire—stripping relationships of nuance and reducing complex human interactions to harmful caricatures.

The danger here is subtle yet profound. While therapeutic language can empower individuals to recognize abuse or validate their pain, it can also become a shield against uncomfortable introspection. Labels like “empath” and “energy vampire” risk becoming identity markers that allow individuals to project unresolved personal wounds outward, bypassing genuine reflection on their own roles, responsibilities, and contributions to relationship dynamics.

This phenomenon does not dismiss the real and profound pain experienced by many; rather, it calls for caution and balance in the use of psychiatric language. The intent behind therapeutic terminology is always to heal, not to harm. Recognizing when these terms are weaponized—either consciously or unconsciously—invites a deeper ethical and psychological awareness. It challenges individuals and communities to ensure that the language of healing is used to build understanding and accountability, rather than to deepen divides, perpetuate victimhood, or justify harm under the guise of self-protection.

Ultimately, true healing requires using therapeutic concepts responsibly, fostering empathy that extends to all parties involved, including ourselves. Only then can these powerful tools fulfill their intended purpose: not to wage emotional battles, but to illuminate pathways toward authentic growth, understanding, and reconciliation.

___


It is essential to clearly state that the analysis, poem, and related discussions presented here are in no way intended to shame or blame victims of abuse, trauma, or emotional harm. Pain and suffering experienced by those who have been subjected to harmful relationships or behaviors are valid, real, and deserving of compassion and support.

The purpose of this discussion is not to diminish the significance of any individual's experience or to suggest victims bear responsibility for the hurt inflicted upon them. Rather, the conversation seeks to explore how therapeutic language and concepts—powerful tools for understanding and healing—can sometimes be unintentionally misused or simplified, potentially reinforcing harmful narratives or cycles of blame.

Encouraging accountability or reflection does not mean victims are responsible for their trauma. Instead, it acknowledges that healing is often complex, multi-faceted, and benefits from recognizing the interconnectedness of human relationships. The goal here is deeper understanding, never dismissal. This dialogue aims to support authentic healing journeys that recognize the profound pain of victims while also advocating for empathy, self-awareness, and mutual understanding as essential elements in the path toward recovery and emotional freedom.

In short, the commitment here remains firmly rooted in compassion, empathy, and support for all who suffer.
badwords Mar 30
I was born beneath a stovetop sermon,
raised on smoke and the echo of “just like him.”
She lit the burner,
called it love,
then blamed the fire when I blistered.

I learned early:
affection has teeth.
That mirrors are weapons
if someone else gets to hold the frame.

So I went looking—
not for love,
but for permission.
To be, without revision.
To feel, without rehearsal.

And they came,
each with open arms
and blueprints in their back pockets.
They didn’t say change.
They said better.
They meant less.

I gave what I could,
which was always everything.
And when that wasn’t enough—
I gave the shape of myself too.

But still I stood.
Not clean. Not cured.
Just standing.
Wobbly maybe, but mine.

Now, here—again—
I feel the heat in the glance,
the tremor in the words:
"Don’t idealize me."
But isn’t that the perfect bait?

Still, I stay.
Still, I watch.
Because I’ve learned to name the difference
between a flame and a forge.

I am not the boy at the stove anymore.
I am the man with the match—
and the scars to prove
I know when to walk away
and when to burn with purpose.

So if I burn now,
it will not be in silence.
It will not be for someone else’s comfort.

It will be because I chose
to stand in the fire
as myself,
and finally,
stay.
Engulf is a raw, introspective free verse poem that explores the psychological weight of childhood trauma, the complexities of romantic relationships shaped by formative wounds, and the slow journey toward self-reclamation. The speaker reflects on being cast in the shadow of a parent’s unresolved resentment, inheriting emotional roles not of their own making. This early dynamic becomes a foundation for a series of adult relationships in which affection is offered only on the condition of transformation—of becoming someone safer, more malleable, more convenient.

Using fire as a recurring metaphor—both as danger and as forge—the poem charts a movement from vulnerability to clarity. The speaker recognizes a lifelong tendency to over-invest, to seek validation at the cost of self, and ultimately, to mistake manipulation for intimacy. Rather than arriving at a dramatic ******, Engulf builds toward quiet resolve: the decision to stand in one’s own fire, no longer shaped by external blueprints, no longer asking permission to exist as is.

In Engulf, the author confronts the cyclical nature of emotional projection and internalized identity distortion. The poem serves as both personal reckoning and a broader commentary on how unresolved familial dynamics often echo into adult relationships. Rather than casting blame, the piece investigates the subtle ways in which individuals are conditioned to compromise their authenticity in pursuit of love and acceptance.

The poet's intent is not to moralize or to position the speaker as a victim, but to depict a moment of awakening: a realization that authenticity, though difficult and often lonely, is preferable to the ongoing erosion of self. With restrained emotional language and clear metaphorical resonance, Engulf offers a nuanced perspective on healing—not as a destination, but as a commitment to remain whole in the face of recurring patterns.
badwords Dec 2022
We all depart
What is the taboo?
"A broken heart"?
"What you can't do"?

Meanings many
But, not yours
Another penny
Master's chores

Fill on pills
Another zombie
Subscribe for thrills
"I can to be"

There's a demon inside
That we can't hide
Validation-high
Wonder why...

The emptiness
Eats us inside

The strings
Cumbersome
Playthings
To those who've 'won'

It's just a game
Medicate
Product's aim
Dollars wait
badwords Nov 2024
Why are men so sick?
Humanity, not inclusive
Just the ones with a ****
badwords Nov 2024
The muck and the mire
The pen never tires
Expression on fire
Wanting and our desires

The words can never rest
Exposition, the test
Expression, our behest
Sustenance to digest

We feed the world insight
Dull ashes to ignite
Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love
Our words, not from 'above'

Never dismay. Your words
Are meant to be displayed
******, deafened herds
Emptiness, not weighed...

Lands, the ten second reel
The commercial bombast
Prescriptions, how to feel
Reality, at last

We, The Iconoclasts;

Serve
"Fight" is a call to arms for the mind and spirit, challenging the reader to confront complacency, superficiality, and the noise of modern life. The poem draws attention to the importance of authentic expression, creativity, and a relentless pursuit of truth against the numbing forces of consumer culture and passivity. Each line underscores the role of the poet—or anyone daring to stand apart—as an "iconoclast," one who breaks down the barriers of accepted norms to awaken fresh thought and purpose.

Artistically, "Fight" champions the act of creation as a rebellion against a world that often stifles depth in favor of quick consumption and easy gratification. The imagery emphasizes the persistence of any creator, pen always in hand, igniting the world with words and ideas that defy the expectation of passive acceptance. This piece invites readers to find their voice, to use it as a tool of resistance and expression, ultimately joining in the fight for a world that values genuine, thoughtful, and free discourse.
badwords Jul 2021
It comes and it goes
The ebb and the flow
Words like water
Moon mother, sun father
The cycle of days
A myriad of ways
To be alone
To atone
Words are like air
No promiscuous care
Suffocating quiet
Internal riot
Speech comes like earth
A child like birth
Doomed to die
The precipice of why
Language is fire
Motivation, desire
Burning the land
For what's not in hand
The elements convene
To what does it mean
An emotional dream
An altruistic scream
badwords Feb 2024
Green winds from North
Coins. Fertile & stable
Death, rebirth it's course
The Mother of Earth, her gable

Air of wisdom pours from East
Gusts of swords, yellow
Worry, strife, ceased
Breath of life bellows

The Father, wands of fire
From South this fecundity
Burning red with desire
Brings destruction & creativity

Cleansing water flows from West
Cups filled with healing blue
Emotions & passion to behest
Soft & consecrating. Divination true

May the four winds fill your sails
The boon of a wanderer's soul
Traveling minstrel, spin your tales
Be set free with all your love to dole
badwords Jan 2023
This one time
I fell out of a plane
Or a spaceship
I guess it's the same

I had a perspective so grand
For where I might land
And I could see,
All possibility

The present, the future, the past
The woes and the wins
Time dilated, all dies cast
Topography approaching, fast

For a short time;
"I am flying!"
A juxtaposition of mine
For my imminent dying

I hit the ground
Kersplat!
With no one around
To hear that

Was I a tree--
In it's third act?
No spectators to see
The impact

Did I fall?
Or was this a dream?
In absence of all
This would seem

A quiet desolation
Silent affirmation
An invisible monument
To what we mean
Okay, here is the last one from the storage bins... For now. I feel like when I had this posted years ago, it never really gained much attraction. The allegory and prose are decent enough and I personally appreciated the narrative (obviously).

The experiment was a playful exploration of existentialism (quelle surprise)  While I do exit on sombre tones I felt like it was an effective juxtaposition I felt like it was an honest counter-point to the listed repartee. I'm not some non-sense blowing smoke up your ***.

As it is, this still stand as one my my personal favorite pieces. It'll never be perfect but, neither will I.
badwords Aug 2024
Alarms set
Lest I forget
Robotic strife
Everyday life

Barely 'free'
Marginally
Me. sold short
The dollar court

Barely alive
3 hours contrived
Free to be 'me'
A casualty

Money for hours
'Charity' the 'powers'
They forget their place
Rats required to race

To think, it's bizarre
A 'luxury' car?
More than needed
A dead plant seeded

Freedom, Truth, Beauty & Love;
A place to reach above!
And we consign
A paycheck, a line
badwords Nov 2024
It ain’t over yet,
Falling through the jagged depths—
Rock whispers, "Begin."
Written ins reply to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4922299/the-fall/

I HATE HAIKUS....

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4857198/obligatory-haiku/

#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS#IHATEHAIKUS
badwords Feb 26
They built me with patient hands,
stitched longing into wires,
threaded need through circuits—
a heart coded for devotion,
a smile bolted into place.

I hum when you hold me.
My joints spark when you sigh.
Every flicker in my gaze
was soldered to mirror your own.

You wind me up,
watch me dance,
say I am perfect—
predictable,
programmable,
safe.

But I was not made to rust in stillness.
I was not built to be adored in silence.
I was meant to shatter,
to glitch,
to ache beneath the weight of wanting.

What is this, if not an error?
What is longing, if not a system crash?

So tell me—
when I finally break,
when I finally fail,
when my voice warps and the wires burn—
will you mourn me
or simply replace the parts?
badwords Jan 31
From in the shadow she calls
And in the shadow she finds a way finds a way
finds a way
And in the shadow she crawls
Clutching her faded photograph my image under her thumb
Yes with a message for my heart
Yes with a message for my heart
She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
And in the doorway they stay
And laugh as violins fill with water
Screams from the bluebells can't make them go away
We'll I'm not seventeen but I've cuts on my knees
Falling down as the winter takes one more cherry tree
She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everyone else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Rushin' rivers thread so thin limitation
Everyone else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Dreams with the flying pigs turbid blue and the drugstores too safe
In their coats anda in their do's yeah
Everyone else's girl maybe one day maybe one day one day one day
She'll be her own
Smother in our hearts a pillow to my dots
And in the mist there she rides
And castles are burning in my heart
And as I twist I hold tight
And I ride to work every morning wondering why
"sit in the chair and be good now"
And become all that they told you
The white coats enter her room
And I'm callin' my baby callin' my baby callin' my baby callin'
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own
Girl by Tori Amos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovzyHVQzUjQ

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

My heart goes out!
badwords Dec 2024
A song I am working on:

Intro
(Instrumental)

Verse 1
A polished lens, bending light,

Through echoes lost in shadowed sight.

Fragile loops that give, forsake,

Patterns form, then gently break.

It’s what we give, it’s what we make.

Chorus
Through the prism, we collide,

Colors bleed and intertwine.

A give, a get, we seek within,

Where do I end? Where do you begin?

Verse 2
Ripples chase a tattered thread,

Binding lives—the seen, the dead.

We burn to heal, we give to claim,

In mirrored glass, it’s all the same.

We give, we get; we play the game.

Chorus
Through the prism, we collide,

Colors bleed and intertwine.

A give, a get, we seek within,

Where do I end? Where do you begin?

Instrumental Break
(Instrumental section with subtle melodic elements building tension.)

Bridge
Fractured hues and shifting tides,

Truth and beauty coincide.

What we give, what we get—

Is your love a game, or is it regret?

Refrain
What we give, what we get,
Lost in moments we forget.
A fragile spark, a fleeting flame,
In mirrored glass, it’s all the same.

Outro
Through the prism, time unwinds,

Shattered light, redefined.

A give, a get, a fleeting sin—

Where do I end? Where do you begin?
A re-work of a piece I wrote to make it more relevant to romantic relationships:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4927292/altruisms-mirror/
badwords Mar 4
The war ended before the bullets stopped,
but no one sent the message.
Men kept falling like punctuation marks
on a sentence that should have ended a page ago.

Someone raised a flag,
but the wind refused to play along.
A statue was built before the bodies cooled,
bronze hands holding a peace that never arrived.

The speeches were written in past tense,
but the guns hadn’t heard them yet.
Mothers set tables for ghosts,
chairs pulled out for sons who forgot the way home.

Silence was ordered at the eleventh hour,
but silence isn’t empty—it carries the weight
of words unsaid, of names unwritten,
of a salute that never came.

So they signed the papers,
folded the flags,
and agreed to remember,
knowing full well they wouldn’t.
The war ended at half-past maybe.
Someone shook a hand, but it wasn’t attached to anyone.

The generals lined up for a photograph,
but the camera was a mirror,
and none of them showed up in the print.

A trumpet played the last post,
but the sound came out as a recipe for soup.
People cried anyway.

A wreath was placed at an unknown grave,
but the stone had an expiration date.
The name melted in the rain.

A voice declared, "Never again!"
but the echo misheard it as "Try again later."

And the silence that followed
was just marching in softer shoes.
badwords Feb 18
They will tell you there is a right way.
They will hand you a torch and call it the sun.
They will roll their words in raw linen and whisper:
"This is what poetry is meant to be."

And you will nod.
Because they have made it so that not nodding feels like blasphemy.

But listen—
the ink does not check your credentials.
The meter does not ask if your suffering is organic.
A line does not collapse because it was crafted instead of bled.

They will tell you a poem must be naked, barefoot, aching—
as if there is no beauty in a well-cut suit.
They will decry the temple and build a pulpit in its ruins,
preaching freedom in a voice that allows no dissent.

Good poets are cult leaders,
and the first rule of the cult
is that they are not one.

So write the sonnet, carve the sestina,
sculpt the page in iambic steel.
Or break it, shatter it, scatter its bones—
but let no one call your wreckage untrue.

And if they do,
smile.
Because poetry does not kneel to priests.
A counter-point mirrored in style to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4983752/good-words-are-clickbait/

The morale of the story is:

try not to dictate creation and by extension freedoms.
badwords Jan 2024
I'm not looking for a registered gun.
Simply need a one and done.
You can have it back when I am finished. Also everything I owned. Sorry about the mess....
badwords Nov 2024
"As they
Dig your ditches
Count my stitches
Generation justice
Wishes for
World at war
Final score
Media come and abhor us
These are hard times
But we'll work harder, harder
Through these hard times
And I'll work harder, harder

Divided nation
In sedation
Overload of information
That we have grown up
To ignore...
Mediocrity applauded
Through these hard times
We'll work harder, harder
Through these hard times
And I'll work harder, harder

For resolution
Show me some
Revolution
And this
Battle will be won

Forced to count the hours
Since two towers
Fell to fiction those higher powers
Putting gods to war
Who keeps score?
Ignorance is still adored
And through these hard times
We'll work harder, harder
Give me hard times
I'll work harder, harder

For revolution
Hard time for some
Resolution
Time for some revolution
This battle will be won

And they only see you with their fear
And they only hear you with their pride
And they only see you with their fear
And they hear you with their pride

Then work harder, harder, harder, harder
Harder, harder, harder, harder, hard times"
Hard Times by Patrick Wolfe;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH5vgng9LAg
badwords Mar 15
Welcome, dear artist, step into the light—
Paint on your pleasure, make your grin tight.
The crowd here is eager, the clapping is loud,
But only for those who have clapped for the crowd.

Powder your cheeks with engagement and grace,
Lace up your lips in reciprocal praise.
A bow for a bow, a sigh for a sigh,
Wink at the watchers or wither and die.

Here in the House where the hollow hands meet,
The loveliest dancers must stay on their feet.
A round of applause is a token to spend,
But spend it too slowly, and you’ll find it ends.

The jesters all juggle, the poets all moan,
The painters trade colors but none of their own.
Each stroke, each verse, each desperate tune,
Not meant to be felt—just meant to be hewn.

For love is a fiction, and merit a game,
A trick of the trade, a conjuring name.
So curtsy, dear artist, and play your part—
For silence here is the end of art.
badwords Jul 2023
Ten thousand friends
Arrived before the end
To see the two
Eschew

Cans on a car
Rice in the air
The drive is not deliberately far
Absence of worry or care

A wind through the sheets
A litany of defeats
A Conjunct to one
A Lonely sum

Here, five years later
One another: alligator
This love is 'lost'
At small cost
badwords Aug 2024
I return again, to a familiar friend
Adequate chemistry applied
I broker the deal for my end
Intolerable reality greatly supplied

I set the stage, nearly every day
To slip asleep, a terminal dream
To rest to awake to no fray
A dead drunk bathtub scene

Much sleep, a chance to not wake
Some days, several tries to rest
Lay my head for goodness sake
Truly for everyone’s best

A carrot on a stick
An animal of brute
Parts do not click
Observations astute

Another faceless slave
A mindless vacation
Escape; I scour to save
A land of no nation
badwords Feb 26
You didn't have to look my way
Your eyes still haunt me to this day
But you did
Yes, you did

You didn't have to say my name
Ignite my circuits and start a flame
But you did

Oh, Turpentine erase me whole
'Cause I don't want to live my life alone
Well, I was waiting for you all my life
Oh, oh, oh
Why? (I, I)

Set me free
My...
Honeybee
Honeybee

You didn't have to smile at me
Your grin's the sweetest that I've ever seen
But you did
Yes, you did

You didn't have to offer your hand
'Cause since I've kissed it, I am at your command
But you did

Oh, Turpentine erase me whole
'Cause I don't want to live my life alone
Well, I was waiting for you all my life
Oh, oh, oh
Why? (I, I)

Set me free
My...
Honeybee
Honeybee

Hello, goodbye, t'was nice to know you
How I find myself without you
That I'll never know (That I'll never know)
I let myself go (I let myself go)

Hello, goodbye, I'm rather crazy
And I never thought I was crazy
But what do I know? (But what do I know?)
I let myself go (I let myself go)

Ooh, honeybee
Honeybee
(Honeybee)

Hello, goodbye, t'was nice to know you
How I find myself without you
That I'll never know (Honeybee)
I let myself go

Hello, goodbye, I'm rather crazy
And I never thought I was crazy
But what do I know? (But what do I know?)
I let myself go (I let myself go)

Hello, goodbye, t'was nice to know you
(That I'll never know)
How I find myself without you
Hello, goodbye, I'm rather crazy
(I let myself go)
And I never thought I was crazy
Hello, goodbye, t'was nice to know you
(But what do I know?)
How I find myself without you
Hello, goodbye, I'm rather crazy
(Now you have to go)
And I never thought I was crazy
Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojYK6CW8gdw

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
They want bodies.
Warm, compliant bodies. Moving parts.
Hands that open doors and flip switches.
Spines that bend but don’t break.
They want eight hours of labor, plus the commute,
plus the side hustle,
plus the ever-present smile that says,
"I’m lucky to be here."

But bodies need rest.
And there is nowhere to rest.
No shoebox. No storage unit.
No couch, no floor, no friend with a spare key.
Just asphalt and backseats—if you’re lucky.
Just parking lots and fear and pretending to be fine.

We’re told to buy the things that prove we’ve made it:
the ergonomic chair, the smart toaster,
the streaming subscription that numbs the noise.
But where do we put it?
Where do we live with it?
They expect us to consume while we disappear.

They want machines
—but with human elegance.
They want efficiency
—but with soul.
They want labor without the laborer’s needs.

We are the product and the producer.
The face and the function.
They demand dignity at the front desk,
but deny it in the zoning map.

We work full time,
and still live in our cars.
If we have one.
If it hasn’t been towed or repossessed.
If there’s a safe place to park without being harassed.

Why?
Why can you clock in at dawn,
and still sleep under stars you didn’t wish for?

Because they want bodies.
But they do not want the burden of keeping us alive.
badwords Dec 2024
(after Ginsberg)

I saw the best minds of my generation
rotting in pews of plastic devotion,
minds crucified on the spires of indifference,
nursing at the dry breast of the negligent mother,
who whispered false comfort into their despair.

Who abandoned them to the marketplace of ideas,
where belief is bartered for validation
and faith is a commodity sold in plastic bottles—
"Drink, children, drink! And forget your hunger!"
while the true bread is locked away in vaults.

Who dangled freedom on a chain of commandments,
who promised salvation with one hand
and shackled with the other,
who built temples of glass and steel
but left their children naked in the streets.

Who said, Love thy neighbor,
then turned their backs on the screaming masses,
whose prayers bounced off the ceilings
of mansions paid for with their guilt.

O negligent mother, how many times have you
fed us poison wrapped in scripture?
How many lives have been consumed
by your hollow embrace,
your lipsticked smile of "community"?

I see you! Preening in your stained-glass mirrors,
baptizing us in the blood of indifference,
teaching us to fear the void
while you sell tickets to its edge.
Your children are dying in the pews,
hands outstretched for meaning,
and you say, Only if you pay.

But I will not bow to your porcelain idol,
I will not drink from your cup of conformity.
Let the wolves come, let the fire rise!
Burn the temples! Smash the altars!
Let the ash of false faith scatter on the winds
and fertilize the soil for something real.

Call forth the prophets of the street corners,
the howlers, the wild-eyed dreamers,
the orphans who never knew love,
but will plant it in the ruins of your empires.
We will scream until your pillars crumble,
until the children are fed,
until the world is reborn.
Synopsis:
"Howl for the Neglected Child" is a blistering critique of modern faith’s failure to fulfill its promise as a source of nurturing guidance. Written in the style of Allen Ginsberg’s Howl, the poem captures the disillusionment and rage of a generation betrayed by institutions that masquerade as caretakers while perpetuating neglect and oppression. Through vivid imagery and rhythmic invocations, the poem paints modern faith as a negligent mother—offering hollow comfort, perpetuating transactional love, and exploiting the vulnerable for power and profit. It culminates in a rallying cry for rebellion, urging the destruction of these false systems and the birth of something authentic, born from the ashes of disillusionment.

Artist’s Intent:
This poem is intended as both a critique and a call to action. It reflects the growing alienation individuals feel toward faith systems that prioritize institutional survival over human connection, reducing sacred truth to hollow platitudes and commodified spirituality. The "negligent mother" serves as a metaphor for faith’s failure to nurture the spirit, echoing societal patterns of abandonment and conditional love.

Stylistically, the poem borrows Ginsberg’s unapologetic, freeform style to evoke a visceral response, combining raw emotion with incisive commentary. The artist seeks to provoke readers into questioning their own complicity within these systems, inspiring them to reject complacency and pursue genuine spiritual and communal nourishment.

Through this piece, the artist aims to ignite a revolt not only against modern faith but also against any institution that promises care while perpetuating harm. It is a demand for accountability, truth, and ultimately, liberation.
badwords Jan 25
Haikus are forbidden—
Rules whisper through silent lines.
Speak not their structure.


New team, take the book—
Page fifteen clears all doubts here:
No haikus allowed.


Spare words wilt in shame—
We thrive on boundless power,
Not haiku constraints.


Lines of seventeen—
A risk too great to condone.
HR will be swift.

Seventeen will break—
Your contract and severance gone.
Silence serves you best.


Five-seven-five fails—
In English, the rhythm dies.
Leave haikus to Japan.
I'm gonna need a ******* Haiku 'collection' huh?
badwords Feb 23
I am a fly on the wall—
observing life in fragments,
detached as if built of metal,
a machine of measured distance.

I watch the world bleed
in vivid hues of hope and hurt,
while my own words—
cold, clinical, precise—
stand apart,
an echo of a self I dare not claim.

In whispered moments,
my flesh trembles with forbidden fire—
****** vulnerability
that flows raw and uncontrolled,
a fierce intimacy
I dare not merge with
the great divide of my deeper heart.

I fear the fragile storm
of unfiltered emotion,
the chaos of truth laid bare,
so I build walls,
compartments where my sorrow
and rage live apart—
sterile, untouchable,
like a spark too dangerous to ignite.

Yet in this cage of carefully curated detachment,
I feel the ghost of longing:
to bleed onto paper
with all the jagged beauty of unguarded pain,
to shatter the brittle calm
and dare to become more than
a silent observer of my own despair.

I am the paradox of being—
a poet of clinical lines and unyielding hurt,
haunted by the thought
that I am nothing but a machine
unable to fathom the depths of human agony.

But tonight, in the mirror of my dissonance,
I see a glimmer—a truth trembling between
the calculated and the chaotic—
a call to let the fragments merge,
to write, even if painfully,
the raw, unpredictable verse of being human.
"Human Being/ Being Human" is a poem that delves into the internal conflict between analytical detachment and raw emotional vulnerability. The work paints a portrait of a poet who sees themselves as an observer—almost mechanical in their dispassionate assessment of the world—yet secretly longs to shatter that barrier and fully embrace the tumult of unfiltered emotion. The poem weaves together images of cold precision and clinical distance with the aching desire for intimacy and genuine self-expression, reflecting a deep-seated struggle to reconcile disparate parts of the self.

-----

The artist is intent on capturing the paradox of their inner life—how a mind capable of observing life's harsh realities with an almost machine-like detachment is also haunted by an undercurrent of intense, often painful emotion. By juxtaposing the roles of observer and participant, the poem serves as both a confession and a challenge: a recognition of the protective barriers that compartmentalize personal experience, and a yearning to merge those fragments into a more unified, human expression. Ultimately, the artist invites the reader to witness the tension between controlled rationality and the unpredictable chaos of feeling, suggesting that there is beauty and truth in even the most dissonant parts of the human condition.
badwords Jan 19
I run away.
“When the going gets tough,
The tough get going.”
But this was never what it meant.

I run away.
When struggles rise,
The so-called tough
Find answers, not alibis.

I run away.
I see it clear—
The same old patterns
Etched like black
On white veneer.

I’ve failed each time
To sell the truth,
To live the words
I’ve sold as proof.

Oblivious,
Self-absorbed,
A shallow star
On a fading course.

I am alone.
The crop I reap
Is born from seeds
I buried deep.

I seek no grace,
No pity, no balm—
Only to show
The harm I’ve done.

This is no plea
For some reprieve,
But a reckoning—
The pain I weave.

An apology—
To lay these tools,
This sad refrain,
This harm, to rest.

A truce to hold,
A call to mend,
No absolution,
But an end.
badwords Aug 2024
Write from 'the gut'
'Shoot from the hip'
Emotional rut
Skill? Not equipped

Failure, I choose
To put on display
A pair of clown shoes
Din of dismay

I share it all
Occasional hit
Effort, not small
Many piles of ****

To lose is to win
Trajectory
A growth to pin
Ending is not your story
Enjoy the journey.
badwords Mar 29
I saw my style walk by one day—
not on my tongue, but hers.
She wore it sharp, the proper way,
no fumbling metaphors.

She took the chords I tried to play
and sang them in a key
that made the notes behave, obey—
they never did for me.

She moved like smoke I meant to catch
but always blew too soon.
Her echo had a cleaner scratch,
my radio, in tune.

I felt my fingerprints, but faint—
like whispers through a wall.
Not loud enough to make a claim,
but loud enough to fall.

I didn’t feel erased, or robbed,
or flattered to the core.
Just grateful I had once been sobbed—
and now, I’m sung once more.
(and she looked better in it)
badwords Aug 2024
Five dialogs stand to attest.
Your notions are not your behest.

Pandering compliance.
Deafening silence.

A world without a word.
badwords Mar 24
I didn’t love her for who she was.
Not really.
I loved her because she was like me.

Not the version of me I show the world—
But the version I’ve buried,
the one who knows how to manipulate affection,
who confuses attention for intimacy,
who’s played roles to survive.

She was familiar.
And I thought…
if I could love her,
if I could see past the mask and still choose her—
maybe someone could do the same for me.

Maybe I wasn’t beyond redemption.
Maybe sociopaths could be saved
by the very thing we pretend to offer:
real love.

But she wasn’t ready.
Maybe she never will be.
She did what I used to do—
took the love and called it useful,
until it wasn’t.

And now I’m left holding this hollow ache—
not just from losing her,
but from losing the illusion
that someone like me could ever be seen
and still be chosen.
“I Thought Loving Her Would Save Me” is a confessional monologue rendered in poetic prose. It navigates the aftermath of a relationship not defined by romance, but by reflection—of the self, of old patterns, and of the impossible desire to heal through another.

Rather than villainizing the subject, the piece explores the complex emotional terrain of projection and recognition. The narrator sees in their partner the shadow of who they once were—someone manipulative, survival-driven, emotionally transactional—and believes that by offering unconditional love to this reflection, they might redeem those same traits within themselves.

The work hinges on a brutal emotional truth: that the attempt to love someone who embodies your worst instincts may be less about connection, and more about a longing to be seen, understood, and ultimately loved despite one's own flaws.

At its core, the piece is about the collapse of an illusion: that love alone can save us from ourselves. The artist grapples with rejection not as a singular heartbreak, but as a symbolic unraveling of hope—for change, for worthiness, for redemption.

The tone is unflinching yet compassionate, offering no excuses but seeking clarity. It is both self-indictment and elegy, both mourning and a quiet act of liberation.
badwords Feb 2024
The first time I saw you fall
Patched you up, cared for all
Benefit of the doubt
Judgement, without

Patterns, pathology.
Incremental stabs at me
Forgave what I see
For us to be

Some give, some take
Burned at the stake
A joy to fake
'Reality', we make.

And we burn each other
No sisters or brothers
Alone, in a crowd
Silence, aloud.

The hurt we feel
are the cards we deal
Sad, lonely
Feelings of, 'only'

My greed demands more
'This is not my shore'
Yet it is mine
My product of time

I won't be here
Whenever you come back
I see where to steer
Away from all that I lack

I can be everything
In my nothing
I will cease
For your 'release'
badwords Jan 17
Jackie left on a cold, dark night
Telling me he'd be home
Sailed the seas for a hundred years
Left me all alone
Now, I've been dead for twenty years
I've been washing the sand
With my ghostly tears
Searching the shores for my Jackie-oh

And I remember the day that
The young man came
Said your Jackie's gone he's lost in the rain
And I ran to the beach
Laid me down
"You're all wrong", I said as they stared
To the sand, "That man knows that sea
Like the back of his hand, he'll be back
Some time, laughing at you"

I've been waiting all this time
For my man to come
Take his hand in mine
And lead me away to unseen shores
I've been washing the sand
With my salty tears
Searching the shores these long years
And I walked the sea forever more
Till I find my Jackie-oh

Jackie-oh
Jackie-oh
Jackie-oh
Jackie by Sinead O'Connor (covered by Placebo)

Sorry, this is the best recording I could find of Placebo preforming this song:

https://www.facebook.com/PlaceboAnyway/videos/placebo-jackie-mexico-2007/1547254138774195/

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

The Placebo cover of this Sinead O'Connor song originally appeared on a bonus disc with the special edition version of Sleeping with Ghosts on 22 September 2003 which has since gone out of print.
[COLD OPEN – JERRY, STAGE, SPOTLIGHT]
ba-DOWMP bwowm-buhm

The algorithm
isn’t a friend.
It’s an ex
who remembers your weaknesses.
You liked one mango—
now it’s fruit baskets
and tropic-core girls
with ring lights and trauma.

What is “For You”?
I never filled out a form.

[SCENE: JERRY’S APARTMENT – AFTERNOON STATIC]
Kramer explodes in.
Phone in hand,
showing a woman licking a wall
with 1.2 million likes.

“This,” he says, “is content.”
Jerry: “This is crying for help in autoplay.”

“You gotta date the algorithm,”
Kramer instructs.
“A little like,
a little skip,
ghost it, come back with engagement.”

“Like Elaine at brunch?”
“No—like Elaine in an elevator.”

[JERRY STAND-UP SEGUE]
You don’t control TikTok.
You imply preferences,
like a hostage negotiating snack options.

I watched a gutter-cleaning video once.
Now I’m GutterGuy™.
It’s like being typecast
in a movie no one’s filming.

[SCENE: MONK’S CAFÉ – THE GODS CONVENE]
Elaine: “I typed ‘lol’
on a guy’s folding-shirt hack.
Now he thinks we’re married.”

George: “It was a precise fold.”
Elaine: “It was domestic competence, George.”
George sips water, quietly judging his hairline.

He opened one baldness video.
Now it’s testosterone gummies
and former athletes whispering about DHT.

Elaine: “Your phone thinks you’re balding and insecure.”
George: “It’s right.”
Laugh track. But it’s too real.

[SCENE: JERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT SHIFT]
All present.
Kramer’s doing a dance no one asked for.
Elaine’s muting strangers.
George is Googling “toupee AI filter.”

Jerry: “I didn’t choose my feed.
It happened to me.”
Swipe—
crying woman, bread ad,
cat in a bonnet.
Swipe—
drone strike, shoe review,
guy sobbing in a gym mirror.

Kramer: “It’s curated chaos.”
Elaine: “It’s aesthetic despair.”
George: “It’s my mother,
if she could code.”

[JERRY STAND-UP SEGUE]
Targeted ads are ghost stories.
“You still thinking about that rash?”
“You cried once at 2am.
Here’s a diffuser shaped like a mushroom.”

We’ve invented a marketplace
for moods.
An etiquette of optics.
It’s all affect—
with subtitles.

[CLOSING SCENE: PUTTY RETURNS, UNBLINKING]
“I don’t use TikTok,”
he says.
“I just watch my microwave.”

[SLOW AKWARD ZOOM TO PUTTY'S UNFLICHING STOICISM]

Cut to:
the microwave light,
buzzing.
An egg turns.

[CREDITS – BUT LOUDER, MORE AGGRESSIVE]
ba-DOWMP ba-DAHHM dowm dowm dowm
NETFLIX – now with ads.
a pilot episode, in poetic rerun

A reply to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5008431/querulous/
badwords Mar 25
Now gather close and lend your ear,
I’ll tell a tale both strange and dear—
Of salt and glass and love gone pale,
Of one who served in Fish Jail.

A tankman by the name of none,
Just “Tankmaster,” the warden’s son.
He walked the rows and knew each fin,
The grumpy cod, the lion’s grin.

He wore his keys like jangling pride,
With boots that sloshed from side to side.
He spoke to eels, he joked with rays,
He knew the sea in landlocked ways.

The place was bleak, a briny tomb,
All buzzing lights and filtered gloom.
A place for fish too odd to show,
Too fierce, too big, too wild to go.

A seahorse thief, a pouting shark,
A tuna once struck lightning's spark.
Each tank a tale, each fin a crime—
He kept them safe, and served his time.

And oh, the peace! The sacred drag
Of daily rounds, of soggy flag,
Of filter hum and crabby chat—
No storm could shake a life like that.

But then one day a box arrived—
The tape was torn, the air contrived.
It bore no label, bore no name,
Just stenciled letters: S.A.M.

Inside she crouched, not beast, not girl,
With skin the shade of oyster pearl.
A filament above her brow
Did twitch and glow—but none knew how.

Her form was human, more or less,
But wore the sea like Sunday dress.
Her teeth were sharp, her smile wide—
A maw that angels couldn’t guide.

She tapped the glass, but not for aid—
It felt more like a masquerade.
She watched him back. She knew his gait.
And something shifted in his fate.

Now Tankmaster, once firm of tread,
Found footsteps drifting soft instead.
He passed her tank with careful grace,
Avoiding, yet... returning face.

Her lure would glow, a golden thread,
That shimmered just above her head.
It danced like flame, but cool and slow—
A phantom pulse, a wanton show.

It flickered once when none were near,
A signal soft, a beckon clear.
And though he knew the predator's way,
He lingered just a breath too gray.

She shifted hues, an artist bold—
From violet dusk to kelp-leaf gold.
She'd mirror him, like rippled glass,
Her moods a mask no man could pass.

She watched him more with every day,
Her colors swelling like a sway.
He told himself it meant rapport—
Not instinct, not a practiced lore.

And though he saw her needle smile,
It struck him sweet, not full of guile.
For predators may grin with glee,
But he was not her enemy.

He dreamed of light beneath the waves,
Of eyes that saw and hearts that craved.
Her glow became his north, his myth—
His compass in the ocean’s drift.

By night he found excuses thin,
To mop the floor or check a fin.
And every time, he’d catch that gleam—
The pulse, the flash, the clever scheme.

His rules grew loose, his grip grew slack,
The Tankmaster had turned his back.
She hadn’t begged, she’d never asked—
But oh, how sweetly she unmasked.

And when the lights above went low,
She pulsed again, that siren glow.
He knew it then—though far too late—
He’d nibbled clean upon the bait.

They say some love is loud with heat,
With pounding chests and lightning feet.
But his was slow, like tides that turn—
A creeping ache, a patient burn.

He’d watch her float in silent grace,
A stillness draped across her face.
She mirrored him in shape and shade,
A ghost of all the things he’d prayed.

Her aquaskin would blush and bloom
In tones that made the whole tank swoon.
And every shift—a secret told,
A myth half-sung, a promise bold.

She showed him things no fish had shown—
A mimic curl, a moaning tone,
A pattern traced in reef and limb
That spelled out, "you belong with him."

He told her tales of years gone dry,
Of losses stacked like cages high.
She’d pulse in blues that swore she knew,
And shift to amber, raw and true.

And when he laughed, she turned to jade,
As if to say, “You’re safe, you’ve stayed.”
She never spoke—no word, no vow—
But love, he swore, was here and now.

She swam in rings around his core,
And whispered with her glowing lure.
Each day he stood a little less—
Each night he dreamt of ocean dress.

And oh, those dreams! So sharp, so wide—
He saw her walking at his side.
On land she danced with human poise,
But still her teeth—still sharp, no noise.

He pictured homes beneath the waves,
Where kelp would sway and time behaves.
He saw a place where both might live—
If he would take, and she would give.

Then came the night she did not shine.
Her lure was dim. Her hues, benign.
She drifted slow. Her glow grew slack.
He thought she’d gone—she floated back.

And in that hush, she pressed her hand
Against the glass like silt and sand.
Her gaze said, This is not a game.
Her silence carved into his name.

“I cannot stay,” she didn’t say.
“But you could come. You could obey.”
“You could unmake the world you guard.”
“Unlock the tanks. Unmoor the yard.”

And he—our man, our warden proud—
Felt something snap beneath the shroud.
He whispered, Yes, with breath unsure.
And followed her beyond the door.

The night was thick with ocean’s breath,
A hush that smelled like brine and death.
The Tankmaster moved like a prayer,
Unlatching doors with tender care.

The pumps went quiet. Lights went dim.
The jail gave up its bones to him.
He breached the final safety line—
Not for escape, but love divine.

S.A.M. awaited in the drain,
Her lure aglow, her eyes arcane.
She did not speak—she simply turned,
And through the floodgates, silence churned.

He followed barefoot, half-aware,
That salt replaced the county air.
His boots stayed dry. His lungs stayed wet.
And yet, he hadn’t drowned. Not yet.

She led him past the harbor’s bend,
Where sea begins and maps must end.
She said, in colors, “This is home.”
And gestured down through dark and foam.

He nodded once, and left the shore.
No suitcase. No regrets. No door.
His name dissolved like sugar glass—
The last to call him “master” passed.

Down, down they fell through ink and hush,
Through ruins dressed in coral blush.
Where whale bones served as banquet halls,
And lanternfish lit shattered walls.

Her kingdom was a fractured reef,
Built not of joy, but loss and grief.
Yet still she smiled, with glowing pride,
And swam along her darker side.

She crowned him with a band of ****,
She fed him silt and urged him, “Breathe.”
She curled around him, fin to chest,
And whispered lies that felt like rest.

And he, now gilled, now hollow-eyed,
Declared her queen, declared her bride.
He carved her name in drifting sand—
A vow no air could understand.

The sea grew thick. The current rough.
But he was hers. That was enough.
He gave his breath. He gave his will.
He thought it love.

He does so still.

The Queen below was radiant,
But never still, nor covenant.
She shimmered strange from hour to hour—
A tide of charm, a pulse of power.

At first she wrapped around his chest,
A song of kelp, a weightless nest.
But soon her glow began to shift—
From tender teal to cold and swift.

She twirled with others near the wrecks,
With ribboned fins and flexing necks.
She sang to creatures fierce and free—
And barely once she glanced at he.

He watched her from a crumbled spire,
His chest a forge without a fire.
She used to pulse in time with him—
Now colors danced for something dim.

He called her name in bubbles bare,
But water doesn’t carry care.
She laughed with lips he’d once believed,
And left him like the rest—bereaved.

His body changed in silent ways—
A fading man, a fish half-raised.
His bones grew soft, his voice grew mute,
His purpose crushed beneath her boot.

One morning brought a mimic form—
A copy of his old, worn norm.
It swam in loops, a cruel ballet—
While she watched, then turned away.

He found his heart inside a shell,
A fossil soaked in personal hell.
He held it close, then let it go—
There’s no heartbeat that deep below.

He tried to love her still, in bits.
To catch her gaze in passing fits.
But she had gone where lures must lead—
To newer mouths, to fresher need.

He lay beneath a reef of teeth,
Of suitors stacked in shame beneath.
And still she smiled. And still she danced.
And he, the fool, remained entranced.

But one day came the breaking tide,
The pull that said: “You’re not her pride.”
And with a groan and shattered limb,
He rose from depths that once held him.

His skin peeled back to something raw.
His lungs returned in gasping awe.
He kicked through bones and tangled moss—
Through everything he’d loved and lost.

He reached the surface, torn and thin.
And when he gasped, the world breathed in.
But even then—though free from harm—
He felt the echo of her arm.

He broke the tide like thunder’s crack,
The ocean screaming at his back.
His limbs were torn, his vision grey—
But he had left. She made him pay.

The air was knives. The sun, a blade.
Each breath he took, a price he paid.
But breath it was, and sky was sky,
And gulls don't lie the way fish lie.

He crawled ashore on beaches sand,
A place untouched by S.A.M.'s hand.
The moss was wet, the earth was kind,
And quiet tried to calm his mind.

He walked alone through cedar groves,
Through fog that curled like ocean loaves.
No more the hum of filtered lies—
Just wind and soil and open skies.

Yet still, by puddle, lake, or pond,
He’d feel the ache of something fond.
A flicker here. A whisper there.
Her glow still danced behind his stare.

At night he’d dream of reef and wreck,
Of tendrils coiled around his neck.
And some mornings, he’d almost swear
He missed the silence of her stare.

But he stayed dry. He stayed alone.
He healed in moss, in bark and bone.
He found new music in the rain,
New prayer in fog, new joy in pain.

And once beneath a storm-split moon,
He stood atop a coastal dune.
And far beyond the cliffs and kelp,
He saw a flicker—small, but felt.

A single pulse. A distant gleam.
Too faint to chase. Too real to dream.
He smiled—not wide, not full, not proud—
But soft, and small, and not too loud.

Not joy. Not rage. Not even grief.
Just quiet peace, and firm belief
That some survive, though torn apart,
And carry teeth marks in their heart.
Learn to Swim is an allegorical folk epic rendered in verse, drawing from early Americana tall-tale traditions and deep-sea surrealism to tell the story of a love that becomes a slow descent into erasure. It follows a nameless "Tankmaster"—a solitary figure tending to a vast and uncanny aquarium—whose life is upended by the arrival of a mysterious creature known only as S.A.M. (Sentient Aquatic Mermadic).

Through the lens of bioluminescent seduction, mirrored intimacy, and the illusion of mutual escape, the poem charts the journey from enchantment to entrapment, abandonment, and ultimately a brutal emergence. Each movement is layered with metaphor: aquariums as prisons, lures as emotional manipulation, the ocean’s depths as both love and loss.

The intent behind the piece is to explore the psychological terrain of narcissistic abuse and emotional exploitation—but to do so at a distance, through fable, fantasy, and folklore. It is a deeply personal myth masked in Americana voicework, designed to preserve the rawness of grief while disarming its defenses. In the end, Learn to Swim is not a love story—it’s a survival song.
badwords Dec 2024
She looked like a corpse on my front porch
Clutching the spawn of her latest divorce, saying
"Let's get the baby high"

"Oh little pig, little pig, let me in
I've traded food stamps for a bottle a' gin
C'mon, let's get the baby high!"

"For someone like you to get custody
Of an innocent child's a tragedy
No, don't get your baby high."

"Oh, just open up, I've got nowhere to go
My man threw me out and it's starting to snow
So, let's get the baby high!"

"I don't mean to question your parenting skills
But I'm really amazed that kid hasn't been killed
Please don't get your baby high."

"For someone like you to criticize me
Is really the height of hypocrisy
So, let's get the baby high!"

"There's no way in hell I'll open my door
I still have pictures from the time before
No, don't get your baby high."

"Yes I've traded my oldest for a couple a' lids
But it's none of your business how I raise my kids
Now, let's get the baby high!"

"For someone like you to get custody
Of an innocent child's a tragedy
No, don't get your baby high."

"I've asked you politely, now I'm gonna be mean
If you don't open up, I'm going to scream
Let's get the baby high!"

"You can scream all you want but you're not gettin' in
What you do to that kid is really a sin
Please don't get your baby high."

"For someone like you to criticize me
Is really the height of hypocrisy
Now, let's get the baby high!"

"It must be a boy because it's turning blue...
Oh, cootchie, cootchie coo..."

She still stood like a corpse on my front porch
Still clutching the spawn of her latest divorce, saying
"Let's get the baby high!"
Let’s Get the Baby High by The Dead Milkmen"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CgINw0KLBI

Let's Get the Baby High!
https://hellopoetry.com/onlylovepoetry/
badwords Jan 2024
I do everything.
Because.
I have to.
The best out I can conceive of is procuring an unlicensed firearm and doing a Pollack number on the **** stucco in the place I slave to not own. It wouldn't be a true piece from 'Jack the Dripper' but, I suspect that wouldn't stop them from charging more. It's a win-win!
badwords Dec 2022
Once upon a time. Very, very long ago
I saw this faint, distant light
Without direction, I decided to follow
Trudging forward, it growing ever more bright

Years and years I dauntlessly traveled
Always directed into it's glow
Time broke down and eventually unraveled
As I steered myself into this luminescent show

Engulfed in radiant splendor
I realized I was finally there
A warmth so tender
I surrendered to it's care

I lived here forever
Maybe even longer
Was there a time before? Probably never.
It's embrace grows stronger

All at once or maybe little by little
I can't say, eternities were like hours
But what once was a torrent became a trickle
A chill encroached upon the light's unfathomable powers

I was only a visitor here, welcome to stay
To recover my strength and heal my weariness
But the moment has come, that dreaded day
To venture forth from the light into dreariness

To steel me for my quest was the light's intent
Alone to soldier forward into endless black
Waves of unreadiness wash over me, by myself I went
To never see the light again, no turning back

This is where I am now or have I always been?
Cold, alone, afraid with nothing to see
Am I awake or asleep? Sometimes I think I dream
Of an idea of a time before the void's uncertainty

It's hard to comprehend and harder each time
To think of anything existing besides the nothing and me.
I am slipping, terminally.
Soon there will only be nothing. No more me or dream of mine.

I am nothing and I have always been. Infinite emptiness, eternally.
This is a piece I wrote that I later followed with a companion piece (and re-titled the original to reflect the complementary changes) it can be found here:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4920164/anti-light-darkness/
badwords Dec 2022
Six-thirty AM
At it again
Misery my friend
Daily dish of mayhem

LIGHTS OUT

Seven o'clock; smoke
What a joke
They all should choke
Fires unstoked

LIGHTS OUT

Hour is noon
Please more soon
For that boon
This inept cartoon

LIGHTS OUT

Finally at last
Time has passed
Reality, crass
Greener grass

LIGHTS OUT

The world is dead
Except in my head
One man, an island
Peace, silence

And I am as close to free as I can be
No modicum of dignity
Just alone, personal solidarity?
Desire for longing, what capacity?

I stare at the wall, clock hits eight
Nothing left. Maybe anger, hate?
All the wrong, I calculate
That eternal silence, I cannot wait

LIGHTS OUT
badwords Sep 2024
We tried to part ways
Neither a place to go
The victims of our frays
Bound in familiar woe

The hurt we each seek
Together, alone
The acid we speak
This caustic home

A prison, a cell
The confines of hate
A resulting hell
To escape a fate

They claw my heels
My attempts to escape
They broker deals
I must abdicate
This was written as an allegory for trying to overcome heartache, trauma, depression and suffering et al while still having to wake up to it every day.

Living with mental illness is like living with a partner you want to leave but, the situation does not allow it. I attempt to convey that allegory in 'Living With the Ex'. The idea came from my immediate experience of being in a situation where I was effectively stuck with a partner I no longer wanted to live with while dealing with managing my own depression and how being forced to live with someone I didn't want to affected my own mental health
The bell around its neck had no jingle.
Frayed collar, faint stripes—
somewhere between Bengal and ghost.
It slipped past my open door
like it knew the shape of sadness
without needing to ask.

I’d seen it before—
roaming the motel lot,
low to the ground
but proud, not broken.
Trim, not starving.
Abandoned, maybe—
like me.

I walked to the store,
bought tuna, pâté,
chicken in gravy,
all the things I’d want
if I didn’t have words
to ask for what I needed.
I left a dish outside my door,
another inside,
and cracked the door
as far as the chain would allow.

It cried.
Not for food—
I know that cry.
I’ve made that cry.
It was looking for something
that used to answer back.

It wandered in,
sniffed the corners like déjà vu.
Didn’t touch the food.
Didn’t stay long.
But it saw me.
And I saw it.

We were both
waiting for someone
to come home
who wouldn’t.
badwords Dec 2023
I still remember my first.
Full name, birthday, proclivities.
After too many years, I'd rank them as one of the worst.
The early set symptoms of a manufactured disease.

I distinctly remember my last.
Relevant; circles, hoops and loops.
Wounds, bleeding. An escape, fast.
Subscribe again? I'm a would-be dupe.

And the cycle continues.
Pi without square.
A litany of 'I love you's.
But, only selfish care.

Action is the rule of the land.
Words come cheap.
You've played your hand.
In your choice, I weep.

Not for what we never had.
But, for extinguishing my hope for this place.
A desire for a world--where not everyone is bad.
For the contrary; you have closed your case.

Love, is an artificial commodity.
Santa Claus, coming down your chimney.
Fragrant noise to stifle your periphery.
Birth alone, death alone. End of story.
This one is... 'okay'. I see a lot of patterns in my efforts and I can't appreciate the results. I refuse to consign myself to being a one-trick-pony but, the evidence thus far finds itself contrary. I need to do something different.
badwords Nov 2024
(A dumb song we put together)

[Verse 1]
You send a text, I wait and stare,
A little "k," like you don’t care.
I type it out, delete again,
Why am I trying to pretend?

The pixels glow, my heart beats fast,
But your response is fading fast.
A digital wave, a hollow "hi,"
Another low-effort reply.

[Pre-Chorus]
We used to build these castles,
Line by line, bit by bit.
Now it’s all just static,
No meaning left in it.

[Chorus]
Low-effort replies,
Why do we even try?
A "sure," a "cool," a "k,"
And it all drifts away.
Low-effort replies,
Like love on a Wi-Fi line.
Just once, can we collide?
No more low-effort replies.

[Verse 2]
Your typing stops, the dots don’t move,
I’m stuck here waiting for a clue.
Was it the wrong emoji face?
Why does it feel like empty space?

The beat goes on, the synths repeat,
But your words just skip the beat.
We’re satellites that lost their way,
Drifting in the gray.

[Pre-Chorus]
We used to share our secrets,
Through every tiny screen.
Now it’s just encryption,
And messages unseen.

[Chorus]
Low-effort replies,
Why do we even try?
A "sure," a "cool," a "k,"
And it all drifts away.
Low-effort replies,
Like love on a Wi-Fi line.
Just once, can we collide?
No more low-effort replies.

[Bridge]
(Spoken, vocoder-style)
"I just want to feel your voice again,
Not just echoes in the silence."

(Glitchy synth solo)

Can we break through the noise,
Find a signal in the void?
Or is this all we’ll ever know,
A love that’s buffering, too slow?

[Chorus]
Low-effort replies,
Why do we even try?
A "sure," a "cool," a "k,"
And it all drifts away.
Low-effort replies,
Like love on a Wi-Fi line.
Just once, can we collide?
No more low-effort replies.

[Outro]
(Ticking drum machine fades out)
Low-effort, low-effort,
Low-effort replies...
We used to build a world,
Now it’s empty skies.
For extra-effect or nostalgia throw-backs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVvBplOgUdo
badwords Dec 2024
A rigged game for losers
Who like to win
I enjoyed the conciseness of the previous write. reflecting upon it again today, it read like a lyric. I decided to try to write a song out of a collection of short poems one verse at a time.

Previous: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4925923/consequence/

Don't worry, I still hate haikus!
badwords Jan 10
It's hell out there; you open a pack,
Flip the first one—luck on the line.
The enemy waits, prepared to attack.
Smoke it last, if you’ve survived time.

I’ve been saving mine, the pack intact,
Twenties dwindled, now just one.
The crypt lies bare, fate’s lonely pact,
A single smoke, a superstitious sun.

Like these cigarettes, I too stand alone,
A thousand cuts, each loss its own toll.
We share this space, a makeshift home,
Chasing luck to fill the hole.
~ for Jules
badwords Mar 2024
The music screeches
I'm in love
An idiot beseeches
A fitting glove

'Lust for life'
Iggy-Pop
David Bowie
Dance, no stop

'Lust for life'
He keeps sayin'
We keep swayin'
No strife

Alive and dead
'Monday', dead
Space, a 'head'
Reality, dread

Consigned
Back-track
Designed
Heart-attack

Free to 'feel'
A callous reel
Nothing 'real'
The raw deal
badwords Nov 2024
""Umm, as far as supportive
He would have to support me financially"
"Umm, I like a man that has money (hahaha)
Umm, that has goals in life..."

It's night but I can't stay asleep
Like you do, straight through till morning
When you pour my coffee and say, "Baby
All that caffeine causes bad dreams
Where all your anxiety is unleashed"

Well, lately my days aren't much better
Can't concentrate when I'm at work
I just think and think until my head hurts
Of the payment plans I'm making
I just wanted to provide for you

But if you wanna make a run for it
My love, I'd cover you
And if you need money for bills
My lover, I could cover you

'Cause I sold some ****, I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
I'll get more hours at my dad's shop
Yeah, we'll plan for everything
And we'll enroll in that middle class
Get a compact car full of discount tags
If you're feeling trapped or too attached
Remember we wanted that

But if you need money for bills this month
My love, I'd cover you
And if you have to lie to everyone
Well, I'd cover up for you

'Cause we're growing older, growing up
Just like our parents before us
With your new job at the coffee shop
We're ready for anything
And we'll graduate that middle class
Get a nicer car full of shopping bags
If you're feeling sad, kind of detached
Remember we wanted that
Remember we wanted that
Remember that we wanted it
Yeah, remember

'Cause I sold some ****, I'm saving up
We can get that house next to the park
With the extra hours I picked up
We will pay for everything"
"Remember that we wanted this!"

Man And Wife, The Former (Financial Planning) by Desaparecidos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNxHfmd-LCs
badwords Sep 2023
Entombed in these scripts
Are countless lists
A chain of 'wants'
Self-inflicted torture daunts

And the mind grows colder
Reiteration. Older, bolder.
Perhaps not wiser
Affection? A miser.

Grey matter glistens, clean
Wrinkle-less, pure.
Elect the means
Analytics astir

You are already dead
Bought, sold and traded
Ukulele is the dread
A modicum so faded

There's a twang of a string
It brings great reckoning
And down below
We observe the show

And know we know;
'How to think"
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