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Ayodeji M Apr 2017
Don’t come close…
I’m covered in thorns, she said.
I ignored and tried to hug her
and found myself bleeding,
trying to put my arms around her.

Don’t! she said.
And I struggled to wrap my arms around her.
Each spine of thorn piercing through me,
breaking my bones and bursting out of my back.

Stop it! she cried.
And I kept struggling,
bleeding and shaking,
till I got my arms fully around her.

Why? She asked.
The light in you,
seems worth fighting for.
The love in you,
seems worth having.
The happiness in you,
seems worth provoking.

You are dying! she said.
Some causes are worth dying for.
For pain mirrors what it means love.
And I will give my last breath
just to let you know
You are worth loving…
Ayodeji M Apr 2017
As soldiers at war
We arm ourselves with guns and bombs
Wearing bulletproof jackets to protect our hearts
Leaving trails of liquor
As we throw shots in the air
Fighting against pain and it’s army
Taking revolving shots till we see pain go down
And then we rejoice at its fall
Dance with excitement
And live beautifully

But then pain shows up disguised as a gift
We welcome pain in unknowingly
And it begins its work
We feel it holding us hostage from within
Squeezing our throats and turning our stomachs
Tormenting our minds
And breaking us gradually
Till we uncontrollably bleed through our eyes

We struggle with the inward war
And gradually lose ourselves to pain
Laying on the floor with the inability to move
Blinded by tears and hibernated in isolation

But the irony
We become victims
Falling in love with our captor
Holding on to pain as it gets tired of us and tries to set us free
Having a love hate relationship
Torturing ourselves with the struggle to live with pain and let go

And so we hold on to pain
Cause we are scared of the truth
Once pain is gone
We lose grip of what we are holding on to
We finally have to say
“Goodbye”
Ayodeji M Apr 2017
Deep breaths as I stand by the sea
Each step colder as I draw closer
Debating on what direction to take
Trying to ignore my feelings
As my head and I argue on the choice to make
My head reminds me of love and warmth
And the dream of a home built on mutual admiration
It then reminds of how every kiss and hug sparks butterflies and chemistries
But then I present my case
Telling my head that things are not what they appear to be
Calling my feelings as a witness
Testifying that sadness comes after every expression of desire
Loneliness comes after every proclamation of love
And yet a sight draws me closer
And I become addicted to the drug that is her
I plead for daily doses
Scratching my head as a result of the low supply
Dragging each dose like my life depended on it
And dying inside due to the toxic nature of it
I wake up in different mind cities
Hallucinating a perfect world
Avoiding the reality at all cause
But it’s just my mind that has been corrupted
Blocking my vision of truth
And so I plead with my head to see reason with my feelings
Begging for a chance for therapy
To loosen myself from the bounds of this toxicity
Cause with just a few steps closer towards the sea
There will be nothing left of me
For people see.

— The End —