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It takes courage to love a man that doesn't love you back,
It takes time, your energy, and your strength,
Somewhere in all the time, someone has to have the courage to love who they want,
He doesn't love me the way i love him,
He says he loves me as a friend....
Next week, you're gonna be gone,
I promise you, I will try to find you,
I can't believe you're leaving me,
But I know you're doing it so you will have a future,
You're graduating and I can't accept that,
You're probably gonna be making millions,
I am happy for you,
But you still know what I am feeling for you,
And what I feel about you,
Because once you leave school, and graduate,
I will regret not letting you know I love you so deeply,
I just know that. . . Do you love me ?
Because I don't know what you feel about me,
I don't know why you stopped talking to me,
Is it because I liked you so much that I could have killed you
So no other girl or woman could have you and break your heart,
Because I never will,
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken,
Because you broke mine when you told me you didn't love me...
April is my the month of my grandmother's birthday,
April is the month of the stupidity called Prom,
April is the month when we do things at school that are dumb...
 May 2017 Austin Barker
Gidgette
She saw the blood this morning,
as she was making the bed
She sat down in the rocking chair,
and sadly, dropped her head
Remembering what he did last night,
the awful things he said
Shame came creeping over her,
turning her bruised face bright red
All the years they'd been together,
seven, since they'd wed
She had hoped for love and kindness,
but got misery instead
She heard his boot heels on the walk,
her heart sank, filled with dread
The monster hit her too hard that time,
now
she sleeps with Angels, in heavens bed
 May 2017 Austin Barker
Paige
To be a girl it means that you are frail, right?
That can’t possibly understand a thing
To be a girl it means you stay up day and night
Trying to get that big, shiny ring

But that’s not true, for a majority that is
We have a secret passed down from mother to daughter
The secret is that we pretend to be his
But our hearts belong to one and another

At age 6 being a girl meant you liked pink and played with dolls
But that changed
At age 8 being a girl meant you liked skirts, dresses, bows
That changed too
At age 10 being a girl meant that you were expected to have a crush & kiss him
If you didn’t, you were an outcast
At age 12 your interest in education was to diminish
By age 14 you realized that when a boy slapped your ***, you enjoyed it
And if you didn’t you were a lesbian
Ages 12-18 we as girls are told to not show shoulders, knees or skin of any kind because it might distract the boys
I never heard the guys being told to dress a certain way. Have you?
No? I didn’t think so because it might ruin their ego…

Being a girl means that you are blessed with self hate
It’s automatic and hard to lose
There is always an imperfection…

Being a girl means that even when it’s hot, you wear jeans and a baggy tee
So that you don’t have to deal with wondering eyes
Being a girl means that you must look your best ALWAYS or else you’re trash
But not too good or else you’re a **** looking for a good time

Being a girl means that you grow to hate yourself so much that you can’t even look at yourself
Unless you are in public, then you have to act vain

Being a girl means that you have to listen to guys calling you fake because you hate a girl but you’re friends with her the next day
What those guys don’t know is that she saved you from a situation that could’ve made you lose what little dignity you have left

Being a girl means that when you see a grown man starring at a baby…
...you take that baby’s spot
If that means you have to be his princess, babygirl, WHATEVER, for the night
YOU DO IT.
And when you are called a *****, **** the next day, just remember that you helped that child

Being a girl means that when you’re a mother and your little girl asks you why the boys at the school rate the girls on a scale of 1-10 you have to look at her with the same look your mother gave you and tell her,
That being a girl means that you have to be smart, that you have to work 2-3 jobs just to make the same as a guy with 1 job
      It’s not fair, but that is how it is.  

You have to hug your baby girl when she comes home and tells you that her teacher yelled at her for wearing a tanktop or when a boy touches her even when she told him to stop
To be be a girl means that your are strong
To be a girl means that you are resilient

To be a girl means that you have a secret that is passed down from mother to daughter
And that secret is **Unity
I remember things like this happening to some of the strongest women I know...
I wish that I could also do it from a guy's p.o.v but I really can't relate to that
;3
 May 2017 Austin Barker
Paige
...
 May 2017 Austin Barker
Paige
...
Hey there future me
I hope you are doing great
Right now I can't see
My future as of late
Have you gotten stronger
Or realised you're perfect
Don't let your feelings wonder
Just know that you are worth it
Have you found love
Are you happy now
You are blessing from above
I want a guy to make love to me,
A guy to **** on my toes,
A guy who can be close to me,
Mentally, physically, intimately, romantically,
A guy who still makes me nervous,
A guy who still makes my leg get weak,
And make my legs shake,
A guy who's love is like thunder,
I want a guy who I can trust to lose my virginity to
I wish I have a guy I can give my naked soul to instead of my naked body,
I want a guy I feel a strong connection with,
I want a guy whose willing to listen to my boring stories,
I want a guy who likes when I stutter,
I want a guy who is like the married men on movies,
I want a guy who doesn't have a problem listening to me complain,
I want a guy who can find me and not run me away,
I want a guy I can run away with,
I want a guy who wants to explore me,
I want a guy I'm not so desperate to have,
I want a guy who I don't need. . .
Love is like having a serious crush on a guy for almost two or three years,
Love is wearing the same socks a love on gave you,
Love is saving someone who you felt ruined your life,
Love is when you get a shirt from your crush and you put it on and you never take it off,
Love is breathing in the strong cologne your crush has on,
Love is dying for someone you really love,
Love is the most strongest word in the world and love can be very dangerous and deadly. . .
Don't ever say the word "Love" unless you mean it and you know what it means,
Because if you don't know what it means or what it stands for, why are you saying it,
Love is like the pressure I'm feeling in my heart,
Love is like having a seizure because you see and crush or love one and they look so incredibly hot, like they're on fire
I woke up this morning and I felt a pain in my upper back,
And it wasn't a good pain,
It was a pain that couldn't be relieved,
It was a pain that couldn't heal,
A pain that stunned out of nowhere,
My back still hurts right this minute,
But when I don't move and stay still,
There is no pain, and my back doesn't hurt at all. . . .
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