White centered

“If your skins colored you don’t matter”
You can get robbed, shot, stabbed, and smothered
And no one will blink twice
You can wake up with chills of sweat soaking down your sheets
Screams created from gunfire and and bullet wounds dying on your lips
But if your colored, it didn’t happen.
You can grow up playing make believe with syringes as planes and the empty carton of cigarillos as cars
Left Unsupervised as your parents get high
End up lost to the streets or running them with blood money
Spending your days Scraping at your skin with bitter yellow nails and hazy red eyes, desperate for that next fix
Until the days bleed together and crust over like thick yellow **** from an infected wound
“Just say no” they’ll tell you
But when it’s Sarah? With the pretty smooth hair and thin figure
When it’s Sarah with, her pale skin turned alabaster and gaunt from crack
Well that’s a different story
When it’s Kevin who wants to burn the world because the nightmares have begun to bleed into reality
Well, that’s a different story.
So they teach us when we’re young, to keep our heads down
How to avoid cops, and what to wear to look the least threatening
How to cry where no one can see, how swallow your pride and how to look the other way
How to be proud to be called an Oreo,
Black on the outside
But with a White Center

They say I ran into the street
With Angels did I try to meet?
They say they saw me bleeding dead
The end of a life I had not yet led.
They say they brought me back to life
But whose happiness did they sacrifice?
They say I’ll be good as new
Out of truths, but lies...they had a few
They say that I think I’ve got it rough
But that I’m not doing enough
They say that it was all my fault
Faced with something I never sought
I say that I am half alive
For peace, I will always strive.
I say that even as I cried
Even as I wish I died.
They say I ran into the street
I wonder why they didn’t let me sleep

I’m locked in a room
Click. Click. Click
That’s far too bright
Click. Click. Click
But there is no room
Click. Click. Click
There’s swirling thoughts so twisted with fright
Click. Click. Click
I’m chained in this chair and they won’t stop watching!
Click click. Click click
Chaotic and scrambled. This is too bright.
It’s wreathing and squirming, with no signs of stopping.
Please someone turn off the light!
I don’t want to see, I don’t want to know
Get these demons out of my sight!
I’m chained in this chair
In a room far too bright
I’m starting to think, no one cares.
Please shut down my mind
Turn off my light
My thoughts are far from kind.
Tick tick. Tick tick.
I’m out of time

Remember* the good times
For they'll surely come to pass
Remember all the* Jokes
And *Remember all the laughs
For one day
They just might be your *last
And Don't Be afraid to love
Even though you're surely going to cry
But don't forget about the laughs
For you never know  when they will be your last
So savor *all the Good Times
And *cry about the Bad
Because Today's all that Matters
so it's  ok, to be sad.

Does it not Make sense,
To want to end
Your own life?
To comence the deed
That for you,
MUST be done
To undo the life
That was so carelessly
Bestowed upon you
Does it NOT MAKE SENSE
That all these 'Little things'
Are causing my miseries
That they have written my ending?
That these DRAMA'S
Have destroyed the beginning
Before it has begun!
The Bell! The bell!
The bell has been rung.
And down they slide
A poison a knife
More tears for sacrifice
Help! Help!
The Heart is gone!
Anguish has taken,
The lights been forsaken
The song...the song!
The song has been sung.
No going back.
To smiles and cheers.
All that is left...
Is pain and tears.
Because the DEAD cannot DIE
Without leaving behind
More hurt to be sold.
Leaving love to cry Why
And letting it shrivel away
Inside.
The bell...the bell
Yes the bell hath been rung.
A beginning Destroyed
Long before it begun
This is no prayer,
For the lovers and weeper
Or the pleaders and mourners.
This is no prayer at all.
For death and the Dying ,
Now in their coffins they lay
Have made their beds,
So you see
This is a poem for the dead.

A pretty little smile,
To cover all
The self hatred inside.
You won't see behind my mask.
I won't tell a soul,
Don't say a word
Hush Hush
Because I can't trust
You.
No I won't.
I'll lock myself away.
Not a word that I will say.
SMILING! SMILING!
They're all around.
They're smiling!
My friends...
Whisper cruel words
Like snakes.
Their venom peirces my heart.
Red liquid fills my safe.
But still...
There's a smile
On my face.
The laughter Burns my throat
The Lonely eats my soul
The hate chills my heart
Oh all the smiles all around
Spitting false words of friendships
The snakes surround.
So no...
I won't let you in.
I will shrivil
And DIE.
On the inside
Ill be free from pain
With pain
Caused by me.
This blade I stain,
Is my serenity
But it's killing me.
There's SMILES ALL AROUND!
EVEN
AS
I DROWN!
What did you DO TO ME?!?!
My blood is choking me!
Red liquid fills my safe
Where I should BE SAFE
I'M DROWNING IN THIS
                    RED!
I'm drowning in
THE BLOOD I
                 BLED.
But still...
          With a pretty
                 SMILE
To
               Hide
My
               Pain