Are you just using me?
Am I temporary?
I want to hold you tight,
but have to let you go.
Silly me,
I should know,
You could never
truly like me.
I think you should go.
I can't do this anymore!
I feel like a *****.
I'm your lover,
Behind closed doors.
But in front of all
I'm a friend.
And nothing more.
I can't keep doing this
To me.
What are we?!
I feel like
A secret
A ***** little secret
And I don't know
If I can keep it.
You told me not to tell.
But as my eyes begin
To swell,
With hidden tears
I refuse to voice
Any of my fears.
I want to be close to you.
I want t be your friend.
But your hurting me
Again and again
Will it never end?!
Ah! Oh the cruelty of men!
How much more
Can my heart bend
Before it BREAKS?
Before I Break...
I'm sick of coming
In second place.
I'm tired of running
This never ending
Race.
Yet...
I could never say this
To your face.
I'm pathetic.
I'm worthless
And I'm beginning to feel
As though I've earned this
Is this my fate?
To never find my one true soul mate?
This is the end...
Goodbye my friend

when you lie
in your death bed
and the dreamcatcher
danced its solo
song

I told you that I'd be ok
even when
you were gone

But I only said it
because I had to
give permission
for you to
go

There are too many birthday cards
Christmas cards
letters carried in the snow
to be ok
in any way
and you will
never know.

she acted like she didn't care, like it didn't bother her.
she acted like it's ok, like it doesn't even matter.
she still smiles and she still laughs, she has you fooled doesn't she?

I'm like your Swear Jar.
Whenever you mess up,
And let naughty words slip,
You toss a nickel in.
And everytime you lie
Everytime you cry over them
Yet another nickel will go in.

I'm your Charity case.
Filled with blind hopes and dreams.
Living on faith that things will get better.
Yet always knowing,
No amount of nickels and tears
Could clear the air
Of the words you've said.

I'm like your punching bag.
Catching all of your blows,
Easing your pain
Trying to bring you
To tranquility again.

But sometimes

I'm your pillow.
Soaking up your tears
The only one
Who's heard all of your fears.
Day after day
I bear your weight.
Because. ..

YOU ARE MY CAGE.
Making sure I can NEVER ESCAPE.
TRAPPING me with your soft embraces.
And PROMISES of what we'll do,
With ALL THE NICKELS THAT WE'LL SAVE.
I'M YOUR MISTAKE JAR.
FILLED TO THE BRIM
WITH ALL YOUR LIES.
AND HOLDING ALL OUR FALSE HOPES
AND DREAMS.

I'M YOUR SWEAR JAR.
only wanted when your
HURTING.

Dear *
You know I love you right?
That I would do anything for you..
Except I guess...
That's not quite true.
I couldn't keep living for you.
I tried! I really did.
I just can't.
The best way for me to describe it,
Is tired.
I feel TIRED.
I feel SICK.
And not the sick a doctor can cure.
I am SICK of MYSELF.
I am sick of looking at myself,
And seeing right through my mask.
I tried...
I tried!
I went to the counselor
It didn't help...
She didn't understand
It wasn't just a ROUGH DAY.
It's EVERY DAY.
It's when I wake up...
And CRY because I DID.
It's when I cut my wrist...
But missed.
It's when I feel like
I'm being DRAGGED DOWN.
and I can't GET UP.
I'm so sorry,
I tried...
I TRIED?!?
I love you...
But I HATE living.
But your strong right?
Here's somthing your better than me at,
Living.

         .               Love

You always hear,
How, 'so prepared' people are,
To die. To watch another die.
And why not believe them?
After all, it's on T.v.
Splashed around in ****** scenes
In movies oh so ruthlessly.
Oh but in reality!
They are wrong.
Death is consuming.
It eats at your soul,
Looming over you and laughing.
Knowing that there's not a **** thing,
That you can do.
Not. A god. **** . Thing.
In Reality, in your heart,
The world has stopped.
Been ripped apart.
Everything you've come to value,
To understand, to love to accept
All of it....
And you become inept.
The fragile world
built upon constant faces
Burn.
They go from a smolder to a roar!
More nightmares,
than you have ever seen before!
And as the ashes build you begin to choke,
Oh and the worst part is,
The world keeps on turning!
It's a joke!
Another laugh made by fates cruel hands
So the world doesn't stop
It doesn't care.
it smirks as death takes its hold,
and if you aren't one of the lucky,
One of the few
Who can escape the aftershock.
Misery shall catch you.
And once it's in you'll wither away!
Forced to live every wretched day
Wondering,
how?!?!
How does this world still turn?!?
Screaming
Why?!?
Yes...why...
The worst part of death...
Is the why.
But why?