Isn't it sad how
I love you most
When we're saying goodbye?

Do you ever just look up into the sky and realize that you're just a spec of nothing on a planet in a galaxy within a universe?
I often sit and wonder if I will ever know the truth.
I'm running out of time, or time is running out of me.

love is a lie
love is what eats your thoughts up at 2am
love is what makes you curl up in your bed with tears smeared on your pillows and blanket
love is what makes you do things you've promised yourself you'll never do
love is what you build yourself around with and when it's gone it makes you want to disappear too
love is what you throw up after a night full of alcohol and hazy memories
love is what leaves you when you already feel so alone
love is what makes your heart beat fast and knees weak
love is what keeps you from loving yourself more
love is what tears you apart just from listening to that song that once meant the world to you
love is what you make out of it
love is what makes you human
and we are liars

I woke up and now I can't sleep.
Too many thoughts.
The strangest feeling lives inside me right now.  I'm not sure what to make of it.
A stranger appeared at my doorstep the other day. I made a mistake when I let her in.
Taking advantage of my hospitality.
She brought with her all this negativity. Too much for me to deal with so I made her leave.
But for some reason the calmness I had acquired before is now gone. There's a small part in me that attempts to panic.
Why did I let her in? Everything was fine. I was fine.
Her negativity still seems to linger. Something like the haunting aroma of leftover food even after you've gotten rid of it all.
The water in my eyes begin to form tiny droplets that slide down the skin of my face and fall onto my favorite shirt. Why you gotta make me ruin my favorite shirt?
I then realize that letting you in again would be a decision I will forever regret.
So now I must gather myself, clean up the mess you've made, change my shirt, and start over.

Not even ***

Nor love

I just need a hug