I wonder if clouds know they're beautiful
When they sit and watch from the the sky

I wonder if they know how dangerous and threatening they are
When thunder cries out

I wonder if they know how they turn colors
When the sun hits them just right

I walk to work wondering if they know

I wish I could live up there with them
I could be puffy and white

And no one would say anything
Because that's how clouds are

I wish I could reflect the sun
But only be full of rain

If I was full of rain
I wouldn't be full of emotion

Clouds don't become angry
Or sad

Clouds don't fall in love
And realize their love wasn't real

I wonder if clouds know how truly breath-taking they are

If I could stay and lay on the grass all day
And watch them

I would

I've driven through clouds once
It was like a dream

I pulled over and felt the fleeting puffs wisp by
I felt the rain wet my skin

I felt the cold penetrate my clothes
I felt the wind tangle my hair

And most of all
I felt the thrill of being in the clouds

I wonder if they thought of me as beautiful
As much as I saw them that way

God, I hate drinking
but I love popping pills
I hate being in love
but I love the way you feel

My skin feels like fire
when I slice it left to right
but, ****, I feel so cold
whenever I see you cry

Love is complicated, but it doesn't resonate between two people
It burns more brightly, when you’re dancing in between the fires of the sun
It’s fervent when you’re watching the stars collapse on each other
It’s all encompassing when the black hole ***** you in
The space around us licks our arms and legs as we dance with one another
When I lean in for a kiss, I can feel the cosmos reaching out to me
I can feel the constellations change when we embrace
And when you touch me, it’s as if the nebulae rebirth themselves
Comets only come once in a while
And it seems you’re riding the radiant tail of Halley’s

I took out my razor blades
And lined them up row
By row
By row
And I thought about how you said the freckles on my skin reminded you of the night time sky
You've heard how flies brains get rewired when they meet their mate?
How "sweet" it is that they can never love another.
Flies don't love. That's why that happens. It has to otherwise they would leave. There's no fake sense in staying and fulfilling an obligation. Lucky them.

I remember waking up very early the next morning,
maybe three hours after I fell asleep on the bathroom floor.

I tiptoed through the house, careful not to wake anybody up,
even the guy who kept telling you to drink
even though you very kindly asked him to stop.

I'm not sure if you ended up drinking,
I forgot most of what happened that night,
but I remember shouting from the tire swing
that I loved you and that I loved you
and that I loved you.

I found where you were sleeping,
relieved to find no body next to yours,
and calmly placed a hand on your forehead.
You stirred, before gently grabbing my hand as it pulled away.

Eyes still closed,
you asked me how I felt.

I feel okay, nothing appears to be broken.

You said nothing and went back to sleep.
I said nothing and sat there for a long while.
I watched your chest rise and fall with each breathe,
and I loved you and I loved you and I loved you.

After a time I stepped outside to smoke a thought,
and the thought I smoked was not of you or of the night before
but of my mother.
She told me,
after I brought home my first date, two months into my freshmen year of high school,
that just because I desire somebody's love,
does not mean I deserve it.

I loved you and I loved you and I loved you
but I did not deserve your love.

I called you and said
"Mom my chest hurts I can't walk, I can barely breathe."
I had never known so much pain
You didn't sound scared or worried
You simply asked questions
I responded as best as I could
You were silent and then told me to grab the antacids
You told me that you would call once you got to work
I waited for you to call, even though I felt better
You called back and I listened to your voice as the antacids melted my pain

Your voice always soothes me
Even when you are mad or screaming

Whenever I'm in pain
Whether it be a broken arm or heart
A dull ache in my back or head
The simplest touch makes me feel better

Even when you annoy me
And I just want to yell at you and say "Shut up."
You still make me feel better when you call me a good daughter

You gossip too much
And you talk too much trash
You overreact
You overprotect
You over do it
But you're my mom
And no matter what happens I know you will be there
Just one phone call and you'll pick up expecting the worst
But will be relieved by what I have to say
You won't be mad
You will just say "It will be okay"

Thank you

Sell your dope.
Sell the last of it
and the first of it.

No, don't rail it tonight,
you know you'll just end up
shooting it tomorrow.

Sell your dope.
Sell it cheap
and sell all of it.

Buy roses,
buy chocolates,
buy gas.

Ask her on a date,
to the movies,
to dinner.

Sell your dope,
and kiss her.
What is more important?

You know what is more important.
Your high will last 4 hours, maybe five.
The feeling of her lips will linger.

The feeling of her lips will linger.
Sell your dope,
fall in love.