why should I apologize
for being a monster
when no one apologized
for turning me into one

tell me where I should go
to the left
where nothings right
or the right
where there's nothing left

cover yourself
you're distracting us
no
you're distracting yourself
why do I have to wear
what you want
when it's my body

What is it to
Truly love
It is to fall in love with their soul
Before touching their skin

I go to sleep
Not cause I’m tired
Not cause I’m sleepy
I just do it
So I don’t have to stay awake

show me you love me
Don’t just say it
Carve it down on trees
Words that’ll last for centuries
Write as you see fit

Show me you love me
Scream it to the world
In words twisted and curled
come at them like storm
Our love
Will be the show we perform

I choked
on my own
breath

if you want to die
I won't stop you
even if I did
you wouldn't understand
Since the very thought
of wanting to die
is irrational
so why would you think
rationally

this world is not made of
only what you see

do I really have to
get down
on my knees
and beg you to let me go

I'm praying, for closed doors and open windows
I'll follow where the wind blows
don't be scared to leave

if I'm not all you need
then please let me be free
I'm down on my knees

my hand
demands
blood
as I slowly fade into my dark thoughts
the part of my brain I hide
floods
into my heart
and I move forward
covered
and soaked
in blood

end things
before they end you

what is to trust
is is to entrust
your soul to someone
is it to become from one
to two
come i'll give you a beautiful view
of my abandoned heart
since i trust you
i hope you to won't break me apart

this entire world is wrong
that is why we must fix it ourselves
remember this
next time you might be the one
or i might be the one
but you must continue to fight
even if you're left alone
fight until the end

you fell in love with my poetry
not me

I respect you
I look up to you
don't just assume I love
is it really that hard to stay friends

I can wait here silent
building up a storm inside my head
I just stood for nothing
so I fell for everything you said
hear my voice
I can wait here silent
gotta make a change
and make some noise
please  undo my sad
undo what hurts so bad
undo my pain
go together through  the rain

I hate that I love you
I hate that when you show up my heartbeats faster
I hate that I can't get over you
I hate you
I hate that you don't return my feelings
I hate this life
I hate me
for living in a fantasy
I love you
for bringing me back to reality

he said I'll show you the entire world
give you everything the world has to offer
I wasn't born yesterday
so don't f**k with me
this world has nothing offer
no you have nothing to offer

I don't write stories
since every character I make has life
and when it has life
it wants what it wants
but it cant get what it wants
since I'm controlling them
so they'll forever live as my puppets
what a pitiful life

somedays I wake up
I just wanna hide wanna under the covers
cause no matter what I do
ill never be like all the others

I'm just too tired to keep running
maybe you're just what I never saw coming
life is full of surprises
but a mystery
is not really a mystery after it's been solved

looking back, it's crazy
I almost turned into
the person people told me I should be

the sun shines
In beautiful light
But you did not notice
Some of the rays
Of the sun
Are harmful
But they just blend in the crowd
you’ll never know
Which ones good
Which one isn’t

he said
there's nothing more I can do
I'll just die

I said
you can do anything
as long as you're alive
so live

beautiful silence
beautiful pain
we're only human
we're meant to dream
lost in a life full of mistakes
we do what feels right
then fall with no grace
chased by the sun
escaping flatlines
dreams are a curse
wake up you're alive

remember
even if you never wished to be in this family
your parents might've been crying for you to be here
so don't abandon them
blinded by your selfish desires

I'm only a nightmare
you wake up and I'm not there

my nightmare need not rest
since they are just my sad reality
I guess its another test
given by life
learn to love live lie
now the rest
is up to fate

why would you come back to life
when you can rest in peace

if you decided to die
then please just lie
down in your grave

the afterlife
is unnecessary

people driving fancy cars
look like beetles to the stars

the missiles and the bombs
are like symphonies gone wrong

and if there is a god
they'll know why it's so hard to be human

I wish that
I did not know
where all broken lovers go
maybe then I'd have let you go

is there a difference between
love and hate
there is
but in the end, it's just an emotion
and feelings change

love always ends miserably
someone dies
so I'll never love
since I have loved
and lost

the dark is nothing to be afraid of
it's just the people within the dark
but don't expect me to be your light
I too was desperately searching for light
now my eyes are used to the dark

when you look into my eyes
are they as blue as the skies
or are they red as blood
as deep as the ocean
or a stream that lost motion
is there a story untold
or scenes that have yet to unfold

the perfect death
is very beautiful
it's coming soon
ice and snow will cover the world
a beautiful scene
                       the perfect death indeed
                          it's coming soon
                  a stunning view of the world covered in snow

I don't blame you
for abandoning me
nor do I blame me
for feeling pain
nor do I blame this world
for that what it is
I can only blame
time
it was never really on our side
now was it?

when I read what you wrote
I realized
I'm not the only one who feels this way
there are other people like me out there
I'm not alone
I was trapped in darkness
and you all became my light
so I'll treasure you
I'm afraid of losing more than I've already lost

to me I'm okay
is nothing more than a word
I never felt that way
there was no one to make me feel that way
how I feel is
                                     I'M
                                                  NOT


                                           OKAY

I don't want to live
but I don't want to die either
so you ask
what do I want
it's simple
I want you

if messages could be conveyed through words
the world wouldn't be what it is today
so take action

a slap from the one who always stood by my side
hurt more than being
stabbed a thousand times
if I could turn back time
I wouldn't disappoint you again
so, please
trust me once more
I promise ill hold onto it
like nothing else
exits
ill love, you like you never felt the pain
when you're old
I'll hold your hand
and when you near the end
I'll be someone you're proud of
so trust me

You too
Must have felt it
When you had nothing to do
No where to go
And no one to talk to
You walked down the stairs
And had a romantic walk to that empty fridge
Waiting for a miracle
Yet the pizza
The cake, juice, wine, chocolate  
Never showed up

they just left-
no goodbye-

even my pen betrayed me
when it ran out of ink

underneath it all
I'm still held captive by the hole inside