I've learned to let people go.
Because no one stays
and in the end everyone fades
you have to learn to let go.
And accept.
So I let them drift
out of my life
and I try not to scream
because I've built concrete walls
around myself
but I'm still wounded
from the times they damaged
my memories and threw them
into abyss of bitter agony.
But I'm an hourglass
with no sand and
my time is standing still
and I can't breathe
because my lungs
don't carry wind anymore.
And I've wasted too many pages,
too many words,
too many metaphors
to explain this emotion
It's so palpable that I feel it  
throbbing in my severed veins.
But I can't I can't I can't
fill this hollow inside me
and I've learned to breathe
with drowning lungs.
I've learned to be dead
with a beating heart.

"I am on my way" you text me.
I sit here, awaiting for you to come home.
I want to cuddle, I want to talk.
I want to laugh with you, and joke around.

Then, the hours pass and I am still alone.
I ask you again, "where are you?"
this time there is no answer.
I am still alone.

It's not that I'm interested in who is calling you,
but when your phone rings, and you cover it.
So I don't see the call display,
I am gonna think.
I have been here before.

When is the last time you rushed home to me?
When you thought we were gonna be separated,
did you make extra time for me?
I am not stupid, but I am insecure,
and for good reasons.

How do you think you would feel?

Time, after time being told, "I am minutes away"
and then you wake up hours later, alone.
You fall asleep alone,
You wake up alone.
Wanting someone to want to make time for you.

They just tell you, that you are silly.
For thinking and feeling what you feel.
Your pain that is in your heart, just gets blown off.

I realize I am not fun anymore,
I realize I have anything you want to listen to.
I realize that I am not as hot as I used to be,
you dont want to have me on your arm.
I realize I am not what I used to be at all.

I cry all the time, and I sit alone.
I sit here, with all my insecurities.
No one who makes me a priority or who just wants me around.
I get worse, and worse and worse.

Every night I just wish that you would treat me like you used to.
Cause then maybe,
I could become a little of who I used to be.

Instead, I am here hidden.
Waiting endless, lonely, painful hours for you.

The seeds were already planted,
We just neglected to watch them grow.
Just when the buds began to
poke themselves through the black Earth,
You made the executive decision
to pluck them from the soil.
I never did see what they'd turn out to be
and you never did care,
But I still wonder what they would've looked like.

Child, your cry reminds me of my pain
So intense, fruitless and without any gain,
In my mother's womb, I bled my last
Memories of me aborted angers me to lambaste.

I hoped to taste the joy of being born
And caressed like any other child's horn,
But mother did you ever love this child
To have denied him access to your guide?

Hope you gave me when you thought to bare this child
Little wonder I choose a mother like you as my guide,
What then went wrong to have my blood shed?
So innocent a child you gave me no chance to be loved.

On you alone, I placed all my hope and trust
In your womb I thought to avoid rust,
But mother did you hate me that much your own son
To have a harmless child suffer the scorch of abortion?

Mother, you gave me no reason for my crime
To have loved and chosen a mother like mine,
With your hands you murdered your own blood
Oh mother, why the cruelty on this child whom you never did curd?