It seems like these nights have gotten longer

Colder

Lonelier

But it's times like this I've gotten stronger
I miss you dearly
More then I should
Sometimes these feelings take over
And have me thinking
Will she like me because I'm honest
Or will she hate me because I'm crude

Every time I lay awake
Counting the miles
Counting days
I miss you more
Every single day

I just can't wait to dial
I can't wait to type
I can't wait to see that face  
that smile
and those eyes

As I sit here
A quarter to three
I sit with friends
And think and think
How I hope to lay with you
And spend my hottest and coldest of nights
Your lips look sweet
Like a child's delight
Your hips feel right
Your hairs so long
Skins so soft
And your eyes
I've gotten lost
Night and night
I can't help but to be short of breath
Because I've run miles in my dreams
To be close to you my dear
My dear
My dear
Your smile and those eyes

I breathed you in
like the smoke from my
last cigarette;
it was bitter-sweet
to taste you on my lips.
And although I never had anything
all-that-useful to say,
I'd like for it to be known
that I still
           love you.

even if your cancer
is metastasizing
in my
heart.

I am not a pleasant person, or even really all that nice.
Instead imagine me as the broken glass you backed over and now are left with a flat tire.
The one black sock in your load of whites, staining the fabric in shame.
That annoying buzzing in your ear that never goes away.
The wall you stubbed your toe on in the middle of the night and screamed, "*******!"

I am not a Sunday morning
or even
a Friday night's lay.
I'm a Monday, 5PM traffic hour just waiting to flip you the bird.
I am the gum on the sidewalk which you happened to step in.
I'm a disaster.
A train wreck.
The red stain on existence, that won't ever come out.

I'll never will be any thing like, a simple smile. Or even a timeless wonder.

I am the darkness that dances in the light.

I am me.
Unpleasant and really not that nice.

I' am waiting,
For something.

I 'am not sure what for.
But, something will happen...
I know it will.

I 'am waiting.
Perhaps, something unexpected?

It seems close at hand.
I'm not sure what it will be.
But, I know it's going to happen.

It's inevitable.
I hope it is not too painful.

I' am waiting,
for something...
Soon!

late at night sit before your window,
                                  staring out,
                                caring not,
no curtains,
no blinds,
to hide the sights before your eyes,
to hide your eyes from the outside,

leave a light on behind you,
your reflection...will remind you,

take your time,
to study,
the face and eyes across
the distance,

the pane is glass,
nothing more,
loath not what you see,
reach to touch, not with hate,
the image will reciprocate,

yet the glassy image harbours no warmth,
and as for the flesh,
and as for the flesh,

there is beauty, beyond what is seen,
there is brilliance, it is in the gene,
there is a conundrum,
though life is humdrum,
or is lost in the thrum,
                                    of mindless technology,

only you can stare
in that window,
and to be fair,
see,
what lies within,
what lies beyond,
if you are honest, see?