Carcinogenic gasps
between photogenic thighs
create esoteric muscle movement
that moves me inside.
Your parents are therapists,
and mine choose not to be alive;
the words they say
don't work for moments we hide.

Jesus Christ before the sunset rust,
if I'm so alive
then why do I lust
absence.

There's a place
where I'd like to drown
every Saturday.
The water's warm
and thick in my lungs
and I'm no longer afraid.

Colliding with epinephrine,
your neck thrusts forward;
you kiss the steering wheel.
"Do you know
how much
you mean to me?"
Your eyes meet mine  
before disappearing in the glass mist.
I love you.

Think of how many heartbreaks you pass on the street.
These passengers wait for a body's arriving, but find out that promises weren't made to keep.

Look at the person beside you that's touching your knee.
Put a hand on his or hers if that's what they need.

Find the desperation in the traveller's being.
Don't do like the rest and ignore what you've seen.

Your smile is like almost missing the last train home but than the conductor waits for you.
Like that connection with a customer on a long day of work.
The moment you realise there's just 4 weeks till summer.
A 10 euro bill in your pocket right before the washing machine.

It's too cliche to compare your smile to sunshine,
but it's the warmth on my face on a dutch day in autumn.

Monad, Blood So Ancient  In my veins
I can smell from across the room
Pheromones so thick they make my lips wet
Eyelash pet me till I'm curled up at your feet
Do you love me?
Look at my fur and my muscle
Head held high (Look how beautiful I am)
My teeth are sharp and I am a painting of scars
Do my eyes speak my heart?
I am true

time is
smiling
at the thought of you
and my eyes only sting
for a moment

and even if I miss you
I've stopped reminiscing
about
hot summer kisses in the dust
while those feelings
plagued me
with too big and too much
I'm sorry you had me
when I wasn't much

time is
your name
still catches in my throat
but now I know
it was never because
I wasn't enough

love is when you see the beauty within a face full of pimples,
the light shining so bright on your other, despite the heavy rain
the insignificant touches, glances, grazes, chuckles and giggles
the significant madness, misery, glares, curses and screams
but then you turn back, say you're sorry and make up again.

love is when you feel like you've done no wrong but you give in,
it is when you turn the lights off for the other who is sleeping
the off days you spend at parks and lake sides
and the lunch hours you give up to say what you have in mind.

"I love you, I love you, do you love me too?"
Said the other on desperate measures,
the flowers and chocolates you buy just to please her.
The infinite amount of kisses on a sad night,
the hugs and blankets to keep her from fright.
"I love you, I love you, baby good night.
I hope you love me too, I hope you sleep tight."

It's the last night before one leaves to university,
it's the last kiss before the last night ends, surely
you've wondered why they'll have to go,
what can you do, and can you follow?

it's the last hug, the last touch, the last laugh and the last smile,
that you'll ever get to see, in probably a very long time.
it's that last physical feeling you feel in through out your body,
its the pain, the joy, the suppressed happiness and the misery
that you felt when and before you first met her.

that's what love is.
and that's how it goes on,
and never ends.

y.m

Dedicated to Farrah.

High school high,
from over there.
Mechanical hips,
wire hair.

Low count sheets,
cigarette burns.
All alone,
I have learned.

Initiate
what you will,
we chase love
until it's killed

****** winds
across my room
as I sleep,
my body blooms

On repeat,
my hurt is blue
don't feel bad
you can hurt me, too.