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I once tried to erase our memories
and found myself
cutting away at my skin
for the coldness without you
was unbearable
and I found my fist reentering the walls repeatedly  
trying to block out the image I saw
of us in the room together
I washed my sheets
and tossed and turned late at night
because my bed never felt the same without your presence
my chest caved in every waking morning
without you here
I honestly don't know how I'm still managing
or how my heart remains beating
without the blood your love supplied
my body is drained
and lungs will soon reach zero capacity
if I continue smoking the nicotine
my body craves
and I can never inhale enough toxic
to forget the memories
you wrote within me
but the first time I tried
did not stop me from trying again
so here I am
with cut up skin and ****** knuckles
lying cold in the sheets
with a broken heart that's barely holding on
and filling my lungs with a poison
heartache taught me to love
for I can not forget
I always thought I had thick skin
But then You touched my body
And I realized how much I wanted
To melt into Your hands
And live within the grooves
Of Your fingerprints
So I could be a part of anything
Beautiful or disastrous
That You felt
It's not you
    I promise
What I say is true
      He never deserved
           You

     It's not your fault
           I know for a fact
      Trust me
             You are better
          Than a boy like that

It's for the best
       Please,
    Believe me
          He'll do it to the next girl
       And the next
            And next
      You'll find your one
          In this world

        It's time to breathe
             Have faith in what
          I'm saying to you
      This might just be
                Poetry
          But I was cheated on too

It's time to believe
      You're worth more than
   You can see
           No more tears, please
      He's not worth your pain
             You're gorgeous
       And you're NOT to blame

     It's for the best,
              It's not you
          Please,
    Just Breathe.
          Believe me,
  Cause I've made it through.
         I know,
      What I say is true.
             Cause
         **I was cheated on too.
I'm here for you.
 Nov 2014 Angel luis
Syd
where i come from, people speak of peace as if it was, is and always will be an inanimate object of sorts. something far too great for mankind to reach out and grab, to hold, to touch. we speak of peace as if we do not live each day finding new ways to love ourselves and each other, as if we do not find solace in his arms or serenity along the creases of her palms. we have spent far too long searching for someone instead of somewhere to call home, too many yesterdays ago we spoke of prosperity in a sense that made us question our beliefs, something rooted so deep inside of us we lost sight of the peace we created with our lips, kisses that claimed every part of a heart that was stitched together with broken pieces of itself. hear me when I say that peace was never intangible, we hold it in our hands every day. the love letter you've read halfway through but stop before you get to the final "I love you" because laced within the lies is a good bye that you never agreed to, peace is freeing yourself from the anchors printed on card stock paper sealed by the lips of a girl whose name you may never forget. peace is 5 o'clock shadow sprinkled across his chin like cinnamon bun crumbs after six days of no sleep, spending each night celebrating the sunset and injecting the rainbow into his blood flow. it's the kind of high you'll never find laying along the bottom of the bottle at midnight when the world is challenging you to a mental fist fight, drinking yourself into amnesia or blowing out a cloud full of regret after taking a drag on your first cigarette. we were just freaks searching for peace in all the wrong places, we forgot how to live like each day was our last and started passing the time by wishing that it was. perhaps peace was most prominent in our childhood, like when you were a kid on the fourth of July and held a sparkler for the first time and your parents watched the fire reflecting in your eyes. when we were five peace was popsicles and nap time, we took the world by surprise and explored until our eyes were too heavy to continue. and since then peace has felt less like Popsicles and more like hour glass sand, slipping through our hands as if we never even held it at all. but hear me when I say that peace is a process of breaking down walls, it is composed of small symphonies in our heartbeats and the stories etched onto our feet from places we've been and sights that we've seen. peace is his hands and her hips, together again, love letters and Popsicles and skin upon skin.
10w
Darling,
        

                                 (what
                                makes
                          ­      you
                                 think)
you're
w o r t h
all



my
time                        (?)
meant to be read, with out parenthesis, just parenthesis and all together
 Jul 2014 Angel luis
Syd
I do
 Jul 2014 Angel luis
Syd
I've been thinking about love for awhile now. and I can't even think about how you can't look at the sun for too long without thinking about you. I can't look at you for more than a minute without getting bent about how ******* beautiful you are and how ordinary I am. ordinary at best. I'd plant kisses on your neck for the rest of my days if you'd give me the pleasure and god I've never wanted so badly to franticly run my fingers through your hair and down your spine just to assure myself that your skin is mine to touch for the moment. moment. what constitutes as a moment anyway? when he's looking in your eyes, not at them or as he's pulling you into bed at night? I want an eternity of more or less continuous moments. the truth is I want everything you have to offer and I'd be more than glad to take the good with the bad and always remember that each moment is a monument and I want to make mountains out of molehills just to have more time to fill your fingers with mine. the truth is there will never be enough time in the day or enough ways to say that I love you without feeling like someone else could have said it better. but I love you, god I love you and for whatever it's worth I think the sun ought to be jealous of your smile and you make the moon blush when you speak. they say each of us are made of star dust and the stars are made of us but you and me, we're made of each other. there's an entire solar system that revolves around the inside of my ribcage but I doubt that comes as any surprise to you. you've always been the earth and I'll always be the moon. every piece of me revolves around every inch of you, and I love you. I do.
 Feb 2014 Angel luis
Syd
suddenly
 Feb 2014 Angel luis
Syd
Suddenly
I remembered every single reason why
I ever fell in love with you
As you pulled me towards my bed
"I've just fixed the sheets," I had said
And without the slightest hesitation
"Let's mess them up again."
Love is when you can’t go a day without thinking about them
Love is when you see them your world lights up
Love is when you love their smile more than life itself
Love is never seeing enough of them,
And always going back for more
To me love is knowing the person better than yourself
Love is worrying, caring for them unconditionally
Never being able to stay mad at them
Love is not caring about ones flaws
You can only see the best side of them
To you they are perfect
Love is going to bed thinking about them
And waking up with their name on your lips
Love is not seeing
But falling blindly
Hoping not to get hurt in the process
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