even i at times do wonder so
if i am the one at fault
still i see the lines we drew though
i know i played my part

so heavy is the weight i feel
as i feel you go
life goes on and takes those things
someday i'll call it growth

i cannot seem to mend this
no matter how i try
the closer i seem to get to you
the more you say goodbye

what strength of mine is left when you
are further all the time?

I woke last night it was another dream of you
I saw the tears as they rolled down your face.....It was surreal it had to be true....as we are apart I feel this force pulling ...grabbing...and dragging me back to you....and the dreams they are the clue....... that my love for you is real and true I kept trying to hold you ...but I could not get close enough...... the tears continued to fall that's not  the worst of it...I called to you but you stared into space ...Crying and I heard you were calling my name........our feelings I know are the same......we must forget whose to blame .....for it is true love ....those tears of love they touched my shoulder as if you were leaning your head .....but you.....were what seemed miles away....the nightmares they must go away .....for our love is destined to stay....as I finally reached you as you lay in bed with the water flowing from your eyes...I wrapped my arms tightly around your whole body and you leaned your head upon my shoulder and the tears stopped falling .....all of a sudden your smile lit the dark room......and there we sat until the sunlight started beaming through the skylight.....forever and a day we will always be together and forever sleep tight

Lies slip from her mouth
Waiting for the web to be unraveled
She watches them stumble and fall into her trap
Disappointed, everytime.

The strings of fate wait
It is a game that none but her see
She grasps them and weaves a story from threads and her friends
All around, people become beads

She weaves the strands of the game
From her fingers, a tapestry unfolds
Showing a path that few have ever seen before
Once, a game masterfully won

light refracts on my eyes but i cannot
seem to see any color
i look at life through the
loosely screened eyes of a dog
unable to express what i see
i bark at stark darkness
i whimper into the bitter
heartless unknown
i am nothing but a vessel holding
numbered breaths. with trouble owning
my hands over any sort of control

i will eventually
go beyond the outer reaches
run out of reasons
to stick around
like an ocean over filled one drop
too many i will spill one seed to many
i will rip and my brain will tear
onto the floor i can see it now. i can see
the blood

i wade in so heavy and i cannot swim
i did not fight back i let him take me
this time where no one can reach for me
where i cannot bring myself up
for my arms are made of something
weak and spineless
who said kindness
even exists, i die
where no one can help me
i saw it in my father's eyes
like a prophecy

you are all mouth and i cannot
see beyond my hands which seem
to shake so heavily they might
fall off and run away
my nose and ears fell off my face
so long ago and i cannot listen
or cannot smell danger,i crawl
an animal yearns for relief of pain

nothing else makes as much
sense as disappearing
when you want to die nothing else
seems to matter
its the first thought every morning
and when i go to bed  
when you want to die nothing much matters
and every escape route leads to death

it's 3:00 a.m it seems inevitable
i hurry to meet the maker
it won't be long now i don't have much time
i tidy the house i sweep my books that
no gram of dust ever befall them
my beloved stacks of paper
i am waiting for a visitor,
impatiently
that he might lead me nowhere-
into nothingness

Lay with me
Hold my hand
Just breath
Steadily
I need you close
Without your touch
I get cold
And winters coming
Don't you know