Malignant cells residing in her chest.
It’s bad, they say, as if we can’t tell,
In the trash is where her hair dwells.
Her body is scarred, as she undressed,
Her naked soul exposed because of her breast.
Home is not home as we are residing in hell,
For who would want to say to their mother, farewell.
Some say that the victim is the only one stressed,
But all of us, her family, are depressed.
Our “home” is filled with gloom
For God is silent on His throne.
The hope in our souls is known;
She will be made new, as in the womb.
We can feel it in our bones;
We know we are not alone.

being in love

and not loved back

is like lying on grass

and feeling needles

of course the age of scientific positivism
was glorious,
the hopes for curing the lamentable ivory cavity
the hopes for anaesthesia in surgery,
it was all there, with all the great minds...
but then our age came along with humanism’s negativism,
and i mean that sincerely...
if you take a concept, like god, and give it to science,
the best it can do in its parameters is take 1...
divide it by the nth term and say something like
0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001
in relation to something else, which its a part of...
i wish i was deeply religious on this point,
but a catholic school education reminding me
to start early with ethics minding only one ethical decision,
i.e. abortion brought feminism with it...
but as one orthodox christian girl said: even without
legal rights between us... you must accept!
eh... why?
god does not belong to science, science deals with numbers
and a few words...
imagine the book of genesis: and in the beginning was a number...
any random number... let’s say six... and six correlated
with aries, taurus, gemini, cancer, leo, libra...
well that’s half missing...
this argument is starting to make me look silly...
this whole word word word... let’s quantify vocabulary for quality assurance...
it’s the q. and q. relativity, the q-q in terms of saying
(that's the coordinate parallelism between science
and human-ism, where the former states
two essentials - space & time - the latter states
its two essentials - quantity & quality;
now imagine einstein working in the humanistic medium,
it would sound something like... 'hmm
of a french novelist's output i can say as much
as: eat your j. keats and have him too):
the closest i came in comparing the greeks with the jews
is to claim that the students of the kabbalah are like the greek philosophers
in the vein of democritus... who took to a, b, c... x, y, z equivalent to atoms...
albeit phonetic atoms that gave us BIG physics of the planets
and meteros and newtonian linear(s)... and little physics... quantum stuff...
like why the romans wrote el... the greeks lambda and the hebrews lamed...
ah you know trivial stuff.
all i’m saying is that scientific atheism, in terms of using words
is, too coherent... if you want real atheism, you have to turn to the humanities,
james joyce is perfect... we don’t live in an age of scientific positivism,
we live in an age of humanistic negativism...
all this talk of extinction and nuclear weaponry,
it’s almost like a scare tactic to allow certain professions mechanisation
by robotics... i know it’s real... would the newsstand sell insensible newspapers?
again... if you deny something you’ll only end up doubting it later,
so with sartre trying to escape the cartesian dialectic if a complete and utter failure,
by denying something it’s hardly possible to erase it, make it extinct,
the faculty of memory does not allow this to happen,
so doubt re-enters and the doubting thought process revs up,
the negating thought process is only momentary, a nano-second if you will,
doubting takes aeons to consider itself un-doubted;
so i ask... coming from a scientific background, why would we
care to push scientific positivism further, given all the discoveries and
ease-of-life assurances when there’s this bulging and growing
humanistic negativism, entitled: we are the 99%! hmm?
science will not make economic strategies go away,
nor will humanism... but with humanism, at least there’s a human face
saying something... rather than science itemising everything
to fit 0 next to 1 with a dot between and call it: a tenth of a metre.

p.s. there's only one doubt of denial and it's unconscious,
because denial is a safety mechanism that automates
to provide a blockage against the world events:
*******, ******... war...
denial is automation... doubt is nurturing...
regret... well... that's natural concerning choice
in events not engaged with; honestly, there are people
who have regrets not engaging within the napoleonic wars,
thus they idolise napoleon... a bit like the neo-nazis
and the third ***** scenario... they can deny certain
aspects of the third ***** mechanisation didn't happen,
but they can't doubt it, because doubt-in-itself
is a sort of thrill
(that's covered by a blatant truism in argumentation,
which is denial, which technically robs it
of the doubt cherished for the thrill)...
'****! it happened! it really really happened!'
and then regret comes in and says: 'but you weren't there.'
then nostalgia kicks in... and that line from w. burroughs
about how you got to be an ss-man in a concentration camp:
gauge the cat's eyes out... yes, the one you petted for a month,
fed and gave affection to: gauge... the... cat's... eyes... out!
dass ist ein anführer befehl!

Sometimes my heart aches, thinking about those that I got close to.
But they went away, without me reaching out to them about God.
I fail to minster to them , and now I feel ashamed that I fail them.
When I think about all those people whom made a difference in my life.
But I fail to make a difference in their lives while they were here.
So many people that needed Jesus but I fail back then to minster.
So now here I am missing being able to have been their true friend.
For now I try to Love with Agape Love, but I fail back then to.
I just am feeling so blue because I miss being able to minster to them.
The way that I should had, so tonight I pray one more time for others.

~

The princess sat along a stream,
crying in the sun
Closed her eyes and dreamt a dream,
about the perfect one

For love had never come her way,
she longed for it so much
The tender words that he might say,
a gentle caring touch

When then a frog hopped into view,
a slimy little guy
He smiled and said, “How do you do?”
A twinkle in his eye

She frowned for she was feeling bad,
not real sure what to say
Then whispered, “I am kind of sad,
but how are you today?”

He croaked an answer quietly
“I’m sad like you, as well
A handsome prince I used to be
before that witch’s spell”

“But fear not, for it could be worse
It’s not so bad like this
The only way to break the curse
is with a princess’ kiss”

She rolled her eyes at what he said
“You must think I am daft”
Then saw the crown upon his head
and stopped before she laughed

Perhaps what he had said was true
and this could be her chance
To end this feeling, oh so blue
with a new found romance

He looked at her, tears in his eyes
Then said in sorrowed voice
“Don’t worry, I’ll just eat some flies,
it’s totally your choice”

Oh what the hell, she thought a while
this chance I shall not miss
And then he saw her gorgeous smile
as she gave him a kiss

A puff of smoke, the brightest glare,
then something did explode
And though she once was seated there,
now sat a princess toad

He never could imagine this,
his wish had just come true
When she gave him another kiss,
she felt the same way too

They fell in love, a perfect dream,
as joy now filled their eyes
And spent their days along that stream,
together catching flies

And they lived hoppily ever…

Oh wait, is that a tadpole I see?  
I guess they lived VERY hoppily ever after   :)

I wonder if you know
how deeply I could love you,
if  you would just let me.


Or is it that you already know
and this is why you choose to leave me in this love-limbo?

Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day’s divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it’s quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.