Take me into you, mind and body alike,
Tired of this world, in your arms I seek respite,
You may shiver, of the cold within thyself, and my frigidity,
But still hold me close,
Believe me it's a necessity,
My bones may thaw, in the warmth of your embrace,
And if they don't, at least my tears may melt within you, some cold, aloof space,
You are the alpha and omega, the very breath my lungs inhale,
You are the rhythm in my beating veins,
Tired, of all the functions living entails
So hold me, love, let me be in your arms until time stops,
Don't ask me to move, keep me, just until the ball drops

I have bedded these thoughts,
considered them in your absence
and in mine,
and still am.
I am busy untangling them,
forgive me for my distance.
I've done what was expected of me,
but it does not make a difference,
so how can I know it was
right
when all I have are the times before
to compare it to?

I've learned a few things,
not in your favor
or mine,
so I ruminate,
contemplate, meditate,
toss and turn these thoughts like
coins.
Heads or tails?

I'll write these words,
twist them just carefully enough
to claim plausible deniability,
or whatever that means,
and then write a more honest
account when my tongue
is not poisoned by alcohol.

By this account, and days, perhaps,
of turning it over,
I will decide what I must do.
You must know that I take
careful consideration of these decisions
which affect how I spend my
time.

You must know that I love you,
perhaps in ways that are
not in the ways that you love me,
but I know that you do.
I know.
But perhaps that is the
fundamental difference.

I've tried my best to reconcile,
but when evidence proves that I cannot,
I must deliberate,
I must decide.

It slips through our fingers.
At the end of it all,
there will be only a few
questions.

Did you love enough?
Did you give everything you could?
Did you spend your life on what mattered?

It rules us all.
Careful it does not pass you by
while you are busy sleeping.