i am cancer
i am death caked in makeup
i am the creaky floor boards in the attic
i am the foul words that leave your mothers lips
and the stench of the alcohol that rolls off your fathers tongue

i creep through the walls at night
looking for a light heart to help with the demons that haunt my every move
i am torturous laughter and pitiful silence

dont not get close to me
i will burn everything you own
leaving you bitter and weeping
gasping for fresh air

i stopped reading your horoscopes
i stopped telling you every little detail of my day
and started telling you how rude and ignorant the world is
i don't think i ever actually loved you.
i don't look at you like you put the stars in the sky
i don't study ever fine line on your face
i don't kiss your hands
i don't hold you to make you feel okay
i don't watch how your eye color changes in the sunset
I've never kissed you the way i kiss her

i read her horoscopes
i tell her about my day
and she tells me what she has planned for the future
shes starts placing stars in my sky
carefully and individually
i look at the lines on her face
i kiss her hands
i hold her as if she is a fond memory trying to escape my mind
i watch the way her eyes change from rich chocolate to creamy coffee in the sun
i kiss her like its the last time i'll ever see her

i think i love her and i now know that I've never loved you.

you drink to fight off the world
i get high to forget what life has done to my soul
everybody has an escape from what they fear

dragons have dug their talons into me, dragging and ripping away my flesh
leaving new scars

lightning struck you, leaving a beautiful disaster in its wake
a disaster that has altered my view on breathing the air i do