We live in a world with Billions of people
Sleep under the sky with trillions of stars
Some long to venture but are trapped behind invisible bars

This boy of grey lives each day in a town of blue
Though you just met each other you pray he thinks of you

But this boy of grey has a heart of gold like the rays streched from the sun
Of course it's just first instinct you assure him his journey has just begun

You're a girl of red; revived your own heart when others left it dead.
Unlike the boy of grey with Heart of gold you're actually very bitter and have an angry soul.

Boy of grey with heart of gold
We don't always have to do what we're told
~Alyssa De Marzo

Fists can only clench so tight
And I hold every ounce of pain inside
Never know where I'll be sleeping the next night
Behind my smile depression knows he can hide

My knuckles bleeding out my heart
The pieces shattered all over the floor
Holding on to my broken home
Because I prepared myself to meet the door

My body moved by anger
My heart overwhelmed with fear
Pills never seemed so sweet
I convince myself I belong here

Inhale
Exhale
In then out
I plan life to go north
Then it all crumbles toward south

I've been feeling a lot like rain
Falling into love but in love with pain
I feel more than the average human
just enough to go insane.

Well too late because
I'm crazy
I'm ******
I'm gone
I'd say I live my life in silence
But on the contrary I'm a living song

Love a girl who writes
and live her many lives;
you have yet to find her,
beneath her words of guise.

Kiss her blue inked fingers,
forgive the pens that marked.
the stain of your lips upon her-
the one she can't discard.

Forget her tattered memories,
or the pages others took;
you are her ever after
the hero of her book

A low-class man with a baby face took a smart pretty woman and made her a disgrace

He charmed her with his words; put her under his spell

Stole the sanity from her children and made their lives hell

Not a finger he laid on the broken kids but every word stung; the torture so brutal and children so young

A teenager already empty was beaten with the belt. She was confused but he didn't care when she cried or what she felt

The mother was his puppet. And he the puppeteer. The puppet was manipulated and her children lived in fear.

Her words were his and his word was law children try as they might his heart wouldn't thaw.

The puppeteer is poisonous and lives without a care.

He didn't work for anything... He just took what was there.

He lived with greed, the love for money and liked to scream and shout.

He took what he couldn't earn; seeking the easy way out

A loser who played mind games. Such an unhealthy mix. Flattering the vulnerable was one of his biggest tricks

The truth always surfaces. And that is what was done. When justice chased after him all he could do was run

Ruby rises at dawn
With a sigh and a yawn
And a dream lingers on
In her dream she’s a swan

With a cloud over head
Ruby swims out of bed
She removes from her hair
Monsters made out of air
And she screams with no sound
As her feet touch the ground

She’ll be a morning shadow
With the sun that rises
She dematerializes

Ruby rise at dawn
With a sigh and a yawn
And you search for a trace
But there’s none in her face
Of the thoughts that she keeps
They are lost in her sleep

I have a secret
No, I can't tell
I fear the pain I've already felt

Time and time again
I think back to when

My stupid choice had changed my voice

I feel like a waste
I feel like a sin

It's as if heaven's gate is open
but
I can't get in

-Alyssa De Marzo

Constantly falling
      But always on my face
World keeps turning
      And I'm running in place
Stuck in this hell hole
      But I can help others out?
I end up back where I was
      Just every time, a different rout
Questions unanswered
      Lost state of mind
The untold truths
       The streets beautifully unkind
Sleepless nights dark and cold
      Long days fuelled by caffeine
While the rest of you be moving on
      I'll probably be stuck in 2016

When a poet can no longer
find their words;
Please give them a hug...
Understand that the loss of words,
is a loss of true love.

When a poet Can no longer find their
ink;
Don't leave them alone in their mind
What to do with a paralyzed pen
Living in a world unkind
There is no drain to an ocean
to deplete this sea of thought
please hold this dysfunctional poet
Whose feelings have been
Bartered and bought

There is no substitute
                 For hard work;
There is no replacement
                 Of time lost;
There is no time for regrets
                 About mistakes made,
                 Or excuses for failure
                 Of responsibility or duty;
There is no explanation for
                 Blind eyes to beautiful things
                 Or love gone unexpressed;
There is no time for excuses

                                                                                 *There is no time

To all the men I could never love
I wanna say it wasn't me, nor you
To all the lips I left unkissed
And words regrettably untrue

To all the hearts I never accepted
Minds I've changed
And souls I never defended

To all the tears I've caused to shed
And the endless hours I left you
stranded in your head

To all the men I could never love
And the only one I do

I have gotten older.
At this point in time, I am where my mother was. I am caught between wanting to love someone and wanting to disappear from the face of the earth, between buying groceries or a few grams of creative fuel. Music is a necessity and sleep is no more than a luxury. There are nights where I wake up just to stare into the clocks eyes and although I tell myself to slip back into my dreams I cannot stop my right arm from reaching for a pen. By the end of the week, my recycling bin overflows with half-written letters and they all start the same but different
Dear mom, I hate you and
Dear mom, I miss you. I am just
Dear mom, I hope your next boyfriend has 16 ****** kids so that you are forced to remember the four biggest blessing you left behind
but there is one letter that I keep on my desk, inside an envelope with your address on it, sealed so that even if my fingers itch to revise and edit all the confusion I somehow found the strength to heave out onto paper; I won't.
it reads,
Dear mom,
I want to tell you I love you. I don't. I know I don't. But I do. I always will, that's just how life is. Life always will be. It's different for everyone. However, for us, life will always be arduous. At the end of the day, you and I don't make it any easier. I fight to feed, bathe, and protect the three younger miracles you brought into this world when you, you don't even bother to send a card on their birthdays. Your life always meant more to you. The motivation I have, the childhood I didn't keep me up at night. You've both robbed and driven me. I don't know whether to say ******* or thank you.
- your Firstborn

I was told that if I was the kind of woman, men liked to look at,
I could let them look at me.
And I was told that if I was the kind of woman, men liked to touch,
I could let them touch me .
I was promised that if I can clean up after messes that were  not my own, learn to cook, and mother a man's inner child,
I could become the woman men liked to provide for.
Men appreciate the women that know when to speak
,guess that's why I don't even know what I'm saying half the time
Men need a woman who can guarantee silence while he grumbles about his day
I didn't know I was to marry a broken record
The look I get from my grandmother when I tell her that marriage is not exactly in my life's itinerary, Is the exact same look 14 year old Alyssa got when she came home with a pierced septum
Us girls are brought up to believe that a happy life is made up of 3 components ...
Husband
Kids
and a part time job
There is a reason Slave is not a synonym for wife
And woman does not equal *wife

I feel like my head is being held under water right now
except drowning in a sea of narcissism is a lot more dangerous
than drowning in water.
water doesn't say she loves you before she swallows every living thing inside of you whole.
One minute you're born miserably the next, it's almost over,
Life I mean    
I have always been in control;
just never of my own life.
It was always,
"Sit pretty, keep your mouth shut, and so help me god don't even breathe funny"
I have NEVER even dreamed of talking to my mother about any boy
Boyfriend? what's that?
Do you have any idea what kind of HELL this hormonal teenage girl was put through? Growing up with all kinds of teenage boys that were into the girls with endless attitude? The same Not-So-Little boys who learned that the phrase, "I need you." could earn them a spot in between
Not-So-Little girls sheets... you know? When Their mammas were too faded to even find out? Don't worry about daddy, he's nowhere to be found.
Growing up, all the wrong boys asked all the right questions. She always said "yes" just because she was raised to say no.
She was only 13 when she left home. Mamma was 16. only a year later, Mamma was pregnant with a failed ******. But the Not-So-Little girl, well she was busy picking up the pieces for the other three little hearts, running around outside of her chest. the same little hearts that were born into a big house with an empty fridge, The same fridge that this Not-So-Little girl had to fill while doing homework on her lunch breaks. So yes. I do get offended when Great aunt lotus says....
*You are so much like your mother.