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Her poems paint a self-portrait
Of a face she hides from the world;
Secrets well-guarded, slowly revealed,
Each line a new chapter unfurled

Every word that drips from her pen
Is likened to paint on the knife;
From sunlit paths that lead to dark caves,
She paints the story of her life

Stroke after stroke the words are placed
Upon the warped canvas of time;
The torment that each lonely day brings
Urges her to dress it in rhyme

Are lonely days not punishment
Enough for this painter of verse?
Yet, night only grants her fitful sleep
As her woes refuse to disperse

O, painter of a thousand words,
Your cruel fate has taken its toll,
Leaving you to walk this Earth alone
With weary heart and sick of soul

With open eyes she lays dreaming
Of the day love will grace each dawn;
Little does she know her fate is sealed:
Long ago her portrait was drawn
 Sep 2017 alwaystrying
The Ripper
I have a friend
He drives a truck for a living
He is someone vvho I've never met
One that I trust and trusts me
He has my home address
Sometimes I imagine him to be a truck driving serial killer
Not sure vvhy that turns me on
Every time I come across one of his photos
I save it
I revievv them often at night
vvhile lying in bed
I knovv it sounds vveird but so ******* vvhat!
He's avvesome
Like vvhen the sun crests over my messes
I have a friend
&& in my head he kills you
 Sep 2017 alwaystrying
Pagan Paul
.
Threading dainty upon eggshells
a free spirit dances lightly.
Passing through and in between
to mesmerise the casual ******.
Her smile, with soft collision,
scatters colour on dim memory.
Her presence, autumn made flesh,
stirs the stones of ancient thought.
Shining gems of mute understanding
sparkle for her tapestry mind.
Casual silver lines of wisdom
weave her playful astral patterns.
Reaching coyly beyond old walls,
lips silent, holding unspoken secrets.
Her eyes framed with amusement
taking shy pleasure from grace.

© Pagan Paul  (2017)
.
 Sep 2017 alwaystrying
wordvango
how better
to spend the day while
she sleeps peacefully
but listening to music

the Beatles
in particularly.
Catching a glimpse
occasionally

of her beautiful
peacefulness
wondering
does she dream of me

when I hear
Good Day Sunshine
I ache

to wake her up
 Aug 2017 alwaystrying
Chelsea
A forest-green & tan striped couch, littered with burn holes from forgotten cigarettes, serves as foreshadowing of what lies ahead for the forgotten flower lying upon it.

She curls up on this couch, as it's the best view to admire mom from across the room, mesmerized as she magically transforms eyelashes into feathers with the swipe of a wand.

Ignorant and innocent, she patiently awaits for her time to bloom; yearns for her petals to unfurl like mom's.
Flawless Perfection.

But gradually, mom's smokey cat eyes became dark shadows of hollow sunken ships, and bright rosy skin faded to washed-out colors, like those of the green-striped couch, stripped by sunlight year after year.

Now,
mom buried the bones of the delicate structure she built from inside her womb, and decades later her daughter's dismantled skeleton is nothing but scattered ruins of an abandoned sunken city, polluted by the rotten flesh of unwanted fruit; a weak foundation destined to be crumbled relics of an ancient past.

Never once did Mom leave flowers at the grave that she dug.

I imagine the sweetest sounds to a brand-new mother are the screams and wails of her newborn child, reassurance that it's vibrant life lights up the room as blindingly as the birth of a newborn star, a commanding presence louder than that star's explosive death.

On the contrary, the sweetest sound to her mother was the silence when she muffled the screams; from underwater, you cannot hear screams for help, or much of anything at all. 

Mom's solace was the peace felt when muddy water filled her lungs, the darkness found from deep within a drug-induced sleep, where you cannot hear a child weep.

I had mentioned the young girl always wanted to be like her mom. Like mother like daughter, all grown up, I tried ****** for the first time. I held true to mom every time the rush of warm blood filled the syringe, visual evidence that the blood was thicker than the bond mom and I shared.

Usually when a person's life is ruined by a parent's addiction they will stay an ocean's length away from drugs - but I am a curious cat, ignoring the fact that I do not have 9 lives, and so I welcomed this substance into my veins, into my brain.

The brown lady would wrap me up in her arms each night, then gently dip me in the familiar flame of a fire's flickering tongue. She became the only company that could never overstay its welcome.

And so, for a time I became my mother: "Flawless Perfection." I will admit, ****** is one hell of a drug, but STILL, I cannot see...how could ****** steal my mother's love?
Once there was a sacred urn
Where fragrant oil flowed no end
A pair of birds watched love’s spring
And drank for life the sweetest blend

But alas!
Who broke this jar? A witch? A thief?
A crow in white dove’s feathers?
(A wolf in sheep’s clothes?)

The bantam pair did all they can to mend
this sacred urn of sweetest blend
of fragrant oil, of nectar flow no end.
The scars still hurt, the cracks send
drops of potion seeping through sand.

Will they live happily ever after?
As fairy tales always end?

Today’s awaiting
for the next Chapter
The unopened pages
are reserved
for tomorrow . . .
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