The last time I caught myself
was when I still counted the seconds.
The seconds between our words,
the seconds between your breaths,
The seconds between your replies.
and I'd obsess.
But a long time has passed
a year at that.
I'm no longer counting the seconds.
I'm no longer counting you.
The only counting i've done
is how many days we've been through.
Sometimes I skip a day
but i'd never skip the seconds.
I'm finally letting go
of my obsession.
It's not numerical.
It's not mathematic.
It's you
you've always been my bad habit.

I hate that sound
It makes me cringe
Wild goose bumps come popping out of my skin
The hair on my arm sticks up
I turn away
But the sound of your chatterbox against his makes me wanna disappear
I'm not here
I don't wanna be
It's almost like you're cheating
But i know you're not
You were in love with another man
Only that's what I thought
Who knew what was going on in your head
How long have you been lying to yourself
And to others
I was foolish to think I believed the magic I was seeing
Ten years it went on
Then suddenly stopped
My world crumbling into pieces
It took forever to put it back together
Some pieces are lost and can't be found
But the damage you did could never be fixed
And that moment could never be forgotten
Now five years later
You went through guys like money flying out of your hands
But this one went on for a little longer
And the longer it went on
The pain I was dealing with kept coming on
It doesn't seem right
Even after  all these years
I miss the one man that stood by you through everything
But you let him go
You were stupid enough to let him go
Now it's every other weekend
Instead of everyday
Why in the world did you make it that way
So now there's only one thing I have to say
I hate those sounds that make me cringe

Of all the random movement
In the world
It seems no one has time
To notice your struggles
Anymore than one is saddened
By a broken sidewalk
Or demolished daisy
And now I know
How far from here
I have to go
The thought of you
Causes me to tremble
Put in simplest terms -
So much for fine words
No one can live up to them
Let me wake from this
Dream of life
And fly finally past the darkness
That reaches out for the darkness

Observations
have no limitations.

The green surprise
speckled through your eyes.

The long dirt path
our loud prolonged laughs.

Your smile beaming
as the trees leaning.

The emotion shifts
my mind clicks.

It's all a dream
nothing inbetween.

The laughters gone
it has been for long.

But i'll go to sleep
and the dreams I'll keep.

One day it will be okay
and I wont sleep my grief away.

She has emotions she doesn't know how to express
In a crowd she stands out among the rest
Her presence is a gift
Her smile and laugh is one of a kind
and that's really hard to find
But she's scared and alone in a world she can't call her own
Her friends think they understand her but they don't
She's a mystery box 24/7
How many times does she really think about hell or heaven
She has perfect imperfections
a beautiful complexion
But is self conscious to those who show her affection
She has so many thoughts that are unthinkable
Mirrors and cameras make her hide
It's gonna be a long ride
But we all hold on tight
Because we all know that's right
And as she sits there in the middle of the night
She fights
She's a warrior and she has no clue
But the amount of stuff she's been through-
She's a fighter and much stronger then we all think
But when she comes around everything seems to be in sync