There are still bad days.
Days where it’s easy to forget that a world exists outside my bedroom.
Days where the moments in-between each breath feel like an unmapped ocean and no one’s really sure if there’s land on the other side.
Days where I’m not sure if there will be other days.
Days where the calendar smiles coldly and says, “yeah, you wish.”
Days where I’m not always able to keep the fire inside.
Days where I burn.
And get burned.
There are still bad days. And I’ve seen better days. But I’ve also seen days a hell of a lot worst.
So I’ll limp my way through the bad days with a bucket of water for my burning heart and an extra roll of duck tape for my tattered appendages
Because at least now there can be good days.
Days where I can look gravity in the face and stand up straight.
Days where I remember my name. Sometimes I even say it out loud.
Days where I can let the dust settle on the noose.
Days where I remember why I didn’t go quietly.
Days where I can see it.
Days where my eyes wander upwards and the sky almost looks like it did before it fell down on my head.
Days where I pick up the needle and find another part of myself to sew back on.
Days where I think about other days, and what they’ll be like when they get here.
Days that I love.
And am loved.
So yeah, I’ve seen better days, but I’m getting better in the face of the bad days.
Because I don’t lack the vision, it’s the method that I always seem to misplace.
But I think I’ll be able to hold onto it...
one of these days…
Hold on to that pain, kid. You're gonna need it.