Are you awake
or are you still dreaming?
Is whats real,
really worth the feeling?
Cause it feels the same
as it did yesterday.
I get up out of bed
but I'm still asleep in my own head.
Dreaming of a place
far away from here.
Do you pretend
this just can't be real?
I feel so sick,
maybe just hungover.
Another day has gone by
and I have yet to stay sober.
Cause its the same old bills
and the same old job
and the same old guilt trips
from my dad and my mom.
It's the same old thing
that never goes your way.
I wish I'd have had the nerve
not to stay

Because I've never had a place to call my home.
Never had no one to call my own.
And it's the same three words everyone is begging you to say.
You dont have to tell me anything, I'll still love you anyway.

When I tried
You told me I will be beside you
When I told you I was hard to love
There was no response
Was that for my own good?
I've been to the moon and have had the realizations of a starving artist
You knew that,
You knew I had no warmth,
And when I left I would always becoming back
I was never gone to stay
I know that you loved me
I know that you wanted to come to the moon with me
That you wanted to understand my art
I knew that when you left
You were gone to stay,
You are gone to stay
But you were never mine.
And I will always be yours

I've begun to hide
the memory of his smile
between my bones
so I can still feel him
fill my empty spaces,
even when he's worlds away