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I wanted my last poem be a tribute to my girlfriend.
I am no longer going to write on hellopoetry.
I've said it a few times before but could never find myself saying goodbye properly; but this time I'm making the effort.
Goodbye everyone, I love you all.

Go do amazing things Liz, I believe in you. Remember, life is more than just people's words and judgements, don't let people tell you what you can or can't do. You write from such raw emotions, I want you to know I think your writing is beautiful. Don't let your past dictate your future, it's not the shadows that show us where to go, but the light ahead of us.


Rachel: don't ever give up writing, just know I'll always read your poems.

Jo; don't forget it I'm proud of you. I've seen you be strong little football star, so I know you are strong.

Lere; I know we've been a little distant but you got life handled little bro, keep staying strong.

Wardha; I know stressful moments feels like they come more often than they go away but I'm certain that one day you'll find moments where stress, sadness all dissipates. I hope you find it but for now all I can say is I thank you for being my friend.

And Delilah: you are amazing in so many ways and you should really see yourself through my eyes one day, keep fighting, you know I'm cheering you on from afar, you know I'm always a message away- don't give up, life is so much more. Hang in there dee. I am right by your side whenever you need me

Goodbye
If any of you are on kik- hiddenagenda20 is my name; yes I realise it's a little ominous but it was actually a slight pun when I didn't want to reveal my gender to people - so I named myself hidden a gender. But don't ever feel scared to message me.

Goodbye my friends, my bestie, my stars and the people who's held me up when I've wanted to fall so many times. I really owe being alive and happy to all of you.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart; I'm sure you won't understand how much every single person on here has had an impact on me and how much I want to thank you. So from the bottom of my heart; thank you very much for keeping me here. I never regretted a single moment.
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I tread the wrong path
made many mistakes
and each turning trail
I found myself lost...
I left part of my life
in the lips of lies
and I'm stuck...
So with aching heart
like crimson cards
packed with silent cries
I hope she at least
hears my sorries.
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I left someone I love...
merely because i thought it was over.
Because I was taught and told it was over,
and I guess this is far from an attempt at closure
but I really am sorry.
____
Take that chance, take the fall
because falling is the first step to flying,
It is the landing you have to worry about
You may fall but never land.
You never really know what you get
until you are sure you want it.
Be sure, and by what i can see,
you want your illuminating star,
no matter how much you push away,
the gravity of that star pulls you in.
So listen to me....take the fall,
because it might just be
the best **** ride you're given in this life.
Oh honey, depression isn't pretty,
it isn't suppose to be,
people always connect sadness
with depression
but the connection is different,
it is a train of thought
like a chain cut short,
that is sturdily held together
but it doesn't last forever,
it is an armour that is worn
and polished everyday
just to say, 'I'm not sure'.

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty;
it isn't suppose to be,
and I want you to know clearly,
that there are always people
out there, somewhere,
who appreciate you for you
and who is nothing more than
a teardrop or a sweat dripping
away from help.

Some might ask,
'Are you depressed?'
and I can say, 'no I'm not',
so what I write is an expression of mind,
of how I wish you could find, that you
have a chance, because you deserve that chance,
the past is the past, a certain glance at the future
says that you could be doing so much more
and if you don't want to, that's your choice
but honey, depression isn't pretty
and it isn't suppose to be,
but you sure are beautiful,
so please keep staying strong
and marching on.
 Nov 2016 Alexandria Taylor
STLR
This is for everyone who told you,
You can't do it, you will never achieve

You look into the mirror and see that your reflection doesn't believe

Inner thoughts of disbelief, dishonesty in reach, your only lying to yourself, when you say that you can't be

Something else, one of a kind
only one thought will bring ease to your mind

Knowing that you can glide, succeed in motions astride, believe and open your mind to that fact that your life is fine

Your more than a piece of gold, your simply extraordinary, don't let these words exist in your vocabulary

"I'm a quitter" their simply non-existent think bigger, brighter look into that future of yours

For the world is at your feet, don't let your dreams fall underneath

I'm a tower, more like as tall as can be

I simply watch over those who need help when they seem In distress or depressed, I want to help them believe

I try to fill the gaps in between, all the
Stress and the heat, because these last following weeks, I haven't been able to sleep

This is a message for me and but
  more for the person who reads

I will not quit but succeed
I will just stand, not retreat
When I was a kid, my mother told me I needed to grow up quicker
We'd bicker about how life is a straight line and I needed to be a man
with guidance and plans like the palm of my hands wrote my life story
before I could even ignore me. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man,
that believed night-lights were a scam to force little minds to sleep
like sheep who were always counted on to put eyelids to rest.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man, a man who stayed up all night
and sighed the next morning that I did not get enough time to sleep.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man, but the definitions kept changing, and based on society's placement, I was far away from being a man.
I hid the kid inside me locked away behind bars of ribs,
because kids were not allowed in bars, nor were they allowed at work,
at worst I found myself smiling not for the sake of me but others.
I held judgement that grew like a crimson rose with bitter petals
just trying to settle my old moments, live the memories in open
and hope that putting the kid inside me away was the better choice.
My voice, though deep could seep the minds of those who cared enough,
to graft dreams that bare enough for me to help see them through it.
I wish that I knew it, that being a man was somewhat of a ****** dream
because the gleam is never as bright as the source of the light,
and lonely nights were only more terrifying when you're awake.
I met a girl with a beautiful face, who dared to tell the truth
that a roof is merely a ceiling in a simple way and the fact
that I acted like a man did not make me one. I remember the words
like a curse tainting families with the plague for generations
meant to bring indignation but it didn't. The words she said
went to my head and travelled through to my heart like roots
growing shoots that helped me understand that I could change.
'Men don't do that, boys do that'.

I'm a man built on the pressures surrounded me
that I've been remnants of others more than I have been myself
and a night's help could not tell how far that I have been lost.
I tossed away fiction with satisfaction because like Pinocchio
who wanted to be a real boy, I found myself wishing the same
when tears clogged my face as I stood over my best friend's grave...
I was a man who wanted to be a kid, but I've hidden that kid so deep
that I can only ever find him in my sleep, because feeling like a kid again
would only ever come in my dreams.

I watched her body left to rest and I wondered yet...
Why was I a kid who wanted to be a man?
-Kid at heart...
I just want to say I love you
and clench onto my chest
that you will say it right back
but I'm not sure what to do.

I've said it over a million times,
all of which are in my mind,
so you'll never hear how I feel
when I want you to be mine.
Silent....thoughts.
Stuck in a web, caught in my mind
because it is the only comfort I can find,
oh my how I've said I love you a billion times,
yet it's always stuck in my mind...Silence...
I want to hold you
Whisper in your ears
That 'It'll be ok'.

I want to hold you
Whisper in your ears
That 'you're amazing'.

I want to hold you
Whisper in your ears
'Please don't give up'.

But

If Chinese Whispers
Have taught me anything
All the things I whisper
Will change upon
Entering your eardrums,
Soon 'it'll be ok', will be
'it'll never be ok',
'You're amazing' turns to
'you're nothing', and
'please don't give up',
turns to 'just give up',
But know that no matter
What you hear,
I will always be whispering
Into your ears
'I'm here for you'
and I'll always hold you.
~Please believe me when I tell you that you truly are amazing, that you are beautiful, that you are pretty, that you are kind, caring, warm, make me smile, that you do really wear a pretty smile, that you are fun, that you light up the night like stars.
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