There’s never been much to hold on to,
much to care about.
Like a stray dog,
you’ve wandered through life
with glassy eyes and no expectations.
Now you dare dream,
you dare believe
and hope all burdens will be lifted.
You turn your eyes to the sky,
like you might once again fly,
like you were never banished,
like you never fell.

But here you are,
alone on christmas,
singing to yourself
not carols,
but songs of mourning.
No words,
only desperate cries.

The savior never meant to save you.

I am losing myself into your eyes,
as if I'm lying in the meadow
and falling inside of the sky.
Gravity has no control over me anymore,
not since your touch freed me
from the chains that were holding me down,
and now I'm either flying
or drowning,
but what does it matter
when the only color I see is blue?
Reality has never felt this good.

I wish I could break out of myself,
and maybe from afar I could understand
everything that I am made of
and I could make sense of the shadows in my head,
because I can't see through the fog anymore,
and sometimes when I look in the mirror,
I don't recognize myself.
.Rock bottom hurts like hell
and I can barely see the way out.
Maybe running away isn't the answer,
but I wish I could do it.
Maybe that's what I've been doing all this time,
just running away from myself.
I'm too scared to sit still.
I'm too scared to catch up with myself.
I just want to be free.
Out, out, out.
I want out.

There's death in the air tonight,
and it's coming to take you, thick like smoke
that is leaking from the rusty faucet
of laughing ghosts,
who have known it all too well,
who can feel if flowing through their veins,
tingling like a swarm of flies,
taking over where blood once was.
Take a deep breath
and let it out,
don't allow it to touch your lungs
or you might find yourself screaming,
tearing your skin apart,
only to maybe be able to take them out.
The night has called them from below,
and now you hear death whispering ,
whispering,
embracing you with their angel-like wings.
You thought you'd run,
but you don't want to.
And the coldness suddenly feels like home.

“We fall in deep and never let go,
Pretending we’re supposed to be together,
Though i can clearly see
Your flesh falling apart,
And your veins pulsing their way out,
And your white skin
Turning gray.
Our love is molding,
And it’s spreading to our hearts,
But we keep saying it’s an illusion.
Illusions hurt, darling,
When they smother you at night,
And our necks are bruised,
And our lungs are sore.”

You speak of things that cannot be seen and your lungs fill  up with smoke.
It's been a while since I could see your face,
through all the thoughts and the words
that float around,
making a cloud
meant to scare people away.
I'm not scared. I can hear your voice.
I can see your light and the sparks you make
by trying to set yourself on fire, but don't you know
fire never killed the sun
and the night never gets lost in darkness.
In a room with no soul, the voices come and play
in echoes and in whispers,
and then you start to speak aswell.

You were fire
and I was water,
always trying to tone you down
always a little behind you,
cleaning up the mess you made
with your flames and your wrath.
But I couldn't breathe through the smoke anymore
and I fell to the ground,
tired and lost.
When I opened my eyes,
you were gone,
and the only thing left
was a pinch of ash from the part of my heart
you burned out.
The worst thing is,
after all this time,
it's still a little bit warm.