Aimée

Aimée Dec 2021

the only word to truly describe me. the most perfect representation of who i am. on the outside i look like a human with regulating emotions but on the inside i am nothing but a ball of numbness.

any feeling of happiness, excitement, sadness or anger vanishes almost as quick as it appears. the only one who truly stays is numb. my best friend.

this saddened numbness plagues my mind like an infestation, she built a home and refuses to leave without a fight. a fight i have tried to win many of times yet always lose no matter the battle strategy or number of soldiers.

my army is no match for numb. numb fights on her own as her mere presence is enough to obliterate me on the battlefield that is my mind.

i say she is my best friend but i do not like her. she tricks me into keeping her around by brining comfort along with her. comfort and numb don’t mix well. numb has also tricked comfort.

i don’t know what else to do. gather more soldiers or let numb invade.

#numb #numbness #melancholy #sad #sadness

Aimée May 2021

home

i am a broken soul longing to go home.

i feel like a fraud living on this earth.

home.

my house isn't my home.

my real home is somewhere not in this realm.

it is a place where my soul no longer feels the coldness of an empty being.

the house i am in is this world. this world is a prison cell and i am unable to escape even though the doors are wide open with the keys sitting in my own hand.

Aimée Apr 2021

younger me

Dear younger me,

The person i am now?
you would be so ashamed.

A shell of a person,
a burnt out flame.

Wasted potential,
unfinished poems.

Crushed dreams,
a broken home.

A fallen flower,
a disturbed mind.

To myself,
I am so unkind.

Dear younger me,
you would be so ashamed.

#youngerself #sad #mentalillness

Aimée Apr 2021

loneliness

loneliness.

a disease that plagues the mind, body and soul.

a disease whose silence is deafening.

it brings a sickly feeling
as it reminds you that there isn't anyone else.

it laughs in your face
while also comforting you.

the worse it gets,
the harder it is for me to get out.

it's my fault though.

i isolated myself and loneliness saw it happen
and took advantage.

i'm the one who locked myself in the room
but loneliness is the one who took the key
and never gave it back.

#loneliness #sad #depression #anxiety

Aimée Apr 2021

impostor

i look in the mirror,
i don't recognise the person staring back at me.

"An impostor!" she yells at me.

she tells me how she took over my body,
poisoning my mind with the worst things imaginable.

"What did you do with the old me?" i ask her,
tears in my eyes,
defeat in my voice.

"we killed her. you and i." the impostor says,
reminding me that we are still the same.

i recognise the person in the mirror.

Aimée Apr 2021

eyes

you didn't have to say anything.

the look in your eyes said enough.

the way your eyes no longer looked
at me like i was the very thing that made you believe anything was possible.

the way they glossed over me,
no longer able to get lost
in the oceans of my own.

that said everything i needed to hear.

-a.n.o'h.

Aimée Mar 2021

gone

for as long as i can remember,
the image of you sitting there with a bottle of alcohol at your lips,
almost glued there,
will forever be etched in my mind.

each drink out of that bottle is a sharp knife,
the blade chipping away your soul,
piece by piece,
drink by drink.

at this point,
i have to wonder if there is any part of your soul left,
do you recognise me?