Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about how you're doing,
How your life is,
How is life without me.

I'm sorry I ended it so abruptly.
I didn't know how to say it.
I didn't know what to do.

You probably hate me to death right now.
But it's not my fault I wanted space.
It's not my fault that you took it so hard.

I want to make it up to you.
I want to be friends again.
I don't want awkwardness around us anymore.

I miss our heart to heart talks.
I miss our late night voice chats.
I miss our little indirect tweets.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

I am tired, I am worn
I just realized how love could easily be dispensed for another
I loved you with every molecule of my being
I’d like to move on with you
But I guess, you want to move on with someone else
Am I too pure, too innocent for you?
Am I taking this too seriously, it scares you?
You said, I’m a "rarity", but you expect me to woo you like the previous person that devastated you?
I’d like you to think this out really carefully
Because I'm tired of the mix signals you're giving off
Because I'm tired from laying low
I’m thinking of letting you go, for real this time
I tried my best to make you aware my love
I’m sorry if it wasn’t enough
A sputtering star trying to draw your attention, shimmering haplessly
Perhaps, I’m just a speck of dust in your vast cosmos—surrounded with stars more alluring
I tried to see you as a friend, but I just can’t see things the way they were
I can’t simply revert back to my former self, and pretend nothing happened, because something did
You taught me that just because we had so much in common, even if we shared the same views, the same quirks, and once, the same longing for each other
You can still be cruel enough to leave a laceration at someone’s heart that throbs for you
You can still clog someone's lungs with tar and nails who’s very purpose is to breathe for you
Please do not have the audacity to think that my arms are always unfurled for you, because I will still love you, but no longer as a lover, but as a compassionate deserter
My heart still burns for you, but I have to look away with just enough coldness to keep my sanity
Should I take this as a trial or a memorial?
Think carefully, my soulmate
Think, very carefully, my love

Here's a hint:
Don't fall into love.  
Whatever love it may be.
For you'll pause one day
You'll think to yourself
Why must this happen to me?

It's warm.
Like smoke,
Shapeless,
Pushing my sins through my pores
To be cleansed by the crying sky.

This feeling,
This reality
Is crumbling down
Around my feet....

With arms wide,
and skyward eyes
I look for the answers..

This rain...

It dwells inside the cave of my Self.
Past the Guardians
Past the ego, the shadow,
The Anima, the Animus,
This truth I hold now

It comes to me as
Red and floating, weightless
Wrapping around my conscience,
Lifting me up, to the heights of
This existence
To the levels of a higher sentient.

I am safe here.
With chills in my spine,
And closed, but wandering eyes,
I peer inside,
The only place I can really call home.