If you'd have heard the creaking of the door
As I let go
You'd have seen
All those flowers in my head
Blossoming after all this time
Butterflies in my heart
Taking flight
If you'd read my mind
The easiest thing
Would be to let in the sun
And drive out the dark
Even after all this time
But the hardest thing
Was to turn the key
Close up the spring flowers
Watch the butterflies turn into ghosts
Sitting idle
Starved for the light
And close the door

There's an abyss where the souls meet
That keeps bliss out of reach
Why?
Do we even try?
I've manipulated you all the time
That there's the light
At the end of the tunnel
I'm delusional
In my mind, too
Why do I feel dilapidated all the time
Something has died inside

But there's hope
That I'll look at the flowers
The blue in deepest parts of the skies
And there's a change of heart that sustains life in all beings

It delivers me from my darkest times
It drives me out of the corners of the dying souls of my mind
Why?
Do we even try? For just a moment of peace that gives us power

Watch over me tonight
As I keep replaying the darkness in my mind
Hold my hands so tight, with all your might
I've made your mess mine

Carrying the weight of things unsaid
All that was poured into you
Was filling me, too
I felt the years of abuse fall through

To stay alive, I tell myself all kinds of lies
This frame holds the skin tight
It's a thin disguise
It is a mirror that keeps out the light

I'm blind and can't see my scars
But I'm tired of hiding in the dark
I want to hold you in my arms
Can you find me under the light of stars?

I'm so terrified, you won't heal me in time
A part of me that's poorly designed
I can't give you something that's real
And I can't trust you with my life

But when the light leaves my eyes
Your hands will be over mine
You'll kiss the guilt out of me
Seizing control over my body

I'm hung from this noose, so tired of this ruse
So, I make every excuse
To hide this bruise
From you

So, watch me crumble as I fall into you
So far that I've drowned into an endless void
Watch me stumble from heights
And so far I've fallen this time

I'm so terrified of this
Of vanishing further than
I've ever known
Into a place where I'm alone and facing the abyss

You've reached out a hand
You broke down my walls
I was tired of being alone, too
That I decided to run with you

But I'm not the one
To watch over you
As I wear out my thin mask
To the watcher of worlds, what do you ask?

I've bestowed my love and God already knows
I wanted to share a sliver of sky with her
I wanted her to close her eyes when time slows
To be the warmth for her when it snows

I'm so hurt by the icy words of the broken heart
You've seen where it snows
And where the blood runs clear and cold in the faded dark
I'm so tired of living without light, Death knows

Her knife is so deep inside my heart
When it burns with love, it twists and turns
When it yearns for ***, it thrills and swirls
As she takes my life under the cold blue stars

I see the sword moves
Within every crevice
And swerves with purpose
The knife moves with the words

I'm so tired of being wrong
But I carry your weight and I soldier on
To the watcher of the night
I promise there's beauty inside of you

You've gone to my head
In it there are flowers and promises of tight hugs
Red roses and child-like painted mugs
The autumn leaves have fallen outside my window

I don't know when I last kept track of the seasons
But now that you're here, it feels like spring
A floral perfume consumes me
My mind is empty as the cold sky

When you're in my head
It can shake my heart
Like a storm brings down a strong tree
It's no miracle that I've fallen for you

And the leaves of my dormant heart
Will fall off their branches
The flowers will close their eyes
You're so far away from me

But I know it is autumn for you as well
Remember I'm a face that you can hold
A pair of strong legs that can carry the weight
Shoulders that your curls fall upon in a passionate hug

It's a perfume that consumes my mind
The promise of spring heals me all the time
It is autumn now
Time for both of us to shed yesterday's leaves

The world is weird.
I pray to gods of stone—
and ignore
the god in me.

You say I'm childish
For freely professing
All the words that are
Etched on my heart

As if I had any
Other choice but to
Be buried by them