as a kid
i built my wall with lego's
then later on
i finished it with stones

i tried to find
a song
a poem
a piece of art
something, anything
that felt like
or sounded like
you

i looked
and searched
asked
and wondered
yet no matter what
i tried
there was nothing
that came close

for you
my platonic soulmate
are one of a kind
a light in the dark
warm, soft
kind, loving
selfless
a best friend

i couldn't find anything
because
nothing
nothing is like you

I’m convinced I’ll never feel at home anywhere I go.
I know people say- home is where the heart is…
And people say- home is the people around you…
And people say- home is where you rest your feet….
But people also say a lot of unnecessary words.

I’m too in love with the world.
I want luscious mountains, and the tallest of trees.
I want hot sandy beaches & rivers flowing freely.
I want volcanoes & lagoons.
I want fairy forests & willow trees to read under.
I’m looking for sweltering heat of summer while dreaming of rain falling in autumn all around me.

I’m convinced I’ll always want more.
I’m convinced I’m staying in a place that feels like a burden & less like a home.
A place with nostalgic memories I don’t really want anymore.
A place that holds old love and deaths I can’t forget.
A place with unnecessary words from unnecessary people.

Stopped by my local coffee shop today
Brought a book like I tend to do
Took a seat and settled in
And that’s when I noticed these two
A couple in front of me whispering in each others ear
Saying things only for the other to hear
The smiles on their faces
So genuine and bright
“Aw the honeymoon phase” I thought
Gosh that seems nice

And then I thought about you
Even though we never went out
That’s my fault I guess
You were very persuasive no doubt
But the truth is I wasn’t ready
And your offer I had to refuse
Trust me... I didn’t want to
But my heart had some healing to do

You have probably moved on by now
It’s been a little over a year
I don’t know why I still think of you
Maybe it’s wonder... maybe it’s fear

I wish I could thank you
I wish I could explain
I wish I could see you again
But too much time has passed I’m afraid