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 Jan 2019 XyL0S
eileen
come again
 Jan 2019 XyL0S
eileen
Love lies
It's you and I
///
don't pretend
I'll forget
10w
 Jan 2019 XyL0S
Iska
There once was a girl
Sitting all alone
Beside a grave
She wished
Was her own.

And as she shuddered
And gasped for breath
She realized
all she longed for

Was death.

“Silly girl”
Death said to me
“How can you exist
So selfishly?”

“For her to die
And you to live
Is the curse that
You deserve”

And as I lay there
In a pool
of blood
And tears
I realize the truth

It’s not my place

Not to live
And not to die
Not to give up
And not to try

It’s not my air to breathe
And yet who am I to deny
It’s not my food to eat
Yet how can I not?

How can I waste
What was hers to claim?
And how can I die
When she lays in my grave?

She didn’t deserve it
But I...
I do
And so I am forced
To consume her food.

It’s not my air to breathe
It’s not my place to greave
It’s not my food to consume
It’s not my life to remove
I am to blame
 Jan 2019 XyL0S
eileen
Chanel
 Jan 2019 XyL0S
eileen
I
and my mother hide
hiding under our warm blankets

crazy
a little crazy
they're all white lies

so many
snow floods inside our house
ice walls
it's too cold to rest

are we
dumb dumb dumb

mother and I
we tell no one
our secrets

we drown
into our perfect fake life
our smile falls off
once we sleep

mother finds no love
for her lonely heart
I follow her footsteps
viewing the world from a small window

what a lonely life
I'm feeling blue
I see red

hand in hand
our hearts sink inside a perfume bottle
 Jan 2019 XyL0S
Em MacKenzie
I have never considered myself weak.
Physically, I have nothing to fear,
I believe myself capable of defending myself from any violent attack that may ever come.
Believing in your own strength is half the battle, after all.
I also rest on the assurance that I will die fighting if need be,
where not many would risk that chance, or persist to have to ****** someone.
I will die on my feet, I will die fighting,
I am afraid of nothing that can hurt my skin.

But,
and there always is a but,
I am terrified of that which can hurt me internally.
You can’t fight feelings,
you can’t hold your own against
love, or sadness, anger or betrayal.
I loathe being vulnerable,
especially when no one attempts to convince you there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Atleast they haven’t lied about that.

I have had women who have left me abandoned in glass boxes,
who have turned on a tap and let the water flow and fill up the space,
promising me they would return when the water touched my chin.
Acting as if it was an a show of affection, providing me with a warm bath to soothe my soul.
But they’ve left, I drowned,
and once discovered, not one could bother to administer CPR.
They gave no condolences to what family I have left,
nor show up to the funeral,
they did not even shed one tear.

But yet, years later they seek out my headstone,
hesitating at the wrong plot because they couldn’t bother to learn the correct spelling of my name.
But they would dig me up, pry open my coffin,
and gently part my decomposed eyelids so they had someone’s eyes staring only at them.

If you **** someone,
atleast have the decency,
to let them rot in peace.
Just slightly bitter today. No big deal.
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