And it came to me
That this was all my fault
You falling in love with me
Caused a butterfly affect
That we could no longer
Keep in control
Is this somebody's
Sick twisted idea
Of a game?

I asked you to stay for me
But we both know
I'm not much to stay for

She'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe's­ goingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoing­ todieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodie­
She'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'­s
goingtodie She'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodieShe'sgoingtodie

I can't help her
I can't stop it

I'm so ******* useless
While she suffers
I sit in bed

And she's so far away
That I can't even hug her one last time

"I just want the pain to end.
And if ending my life
Will make it go away
Then it's for the best."

"I'll make it stop!
I'll make it stop!
Please
Don't do this..."

Will you love me
In a few years?

Will you keep loving me
A year from now?

Will you continue loving me
In a month?

Will you love me
A day from now?

Will you still love me
In the morning?

"̷Y̶o̶u̴ ̷a̶r̴e̵ ̴a̷l̷o̶n̷e̶"̷
̵"̵S̵h̵e̷'̶s̵ ̶s̶o̷ ̷p̸i̴t̴i̸f̵u̴l̵"̶
̵"̷B̶e̵t̶t̵e̴r̸ ̸o̶f̶f̵ ̶d̸e̴a̵d̶"̷
̴"̷H̷a̷!̷ ̵L̸o̵o̸k̶ ̵a̵t̴ ̵h̷e̷r̸ ̵c̸r̷y̶!̷"̴
̴"̴U̵g̶l̵y̵"̸
̸"̸W̷o̷r̸t̷h̵l̶e̵s̵s̶"̴
̸"̴I̸d̸i̸o̷t̶"̵­
̴"̶J̴u̷s̶t̷ ̵e̵ ̸n̶ ̷d̷ ̶i̶t̸ ̷a̴l̴r̷e̷a̷d̵y̶"̴
̶"̴L̸E̶A̸V̵E̷"̵
̷"̸O̷ ̴n̴ ̷l̸ ̸y̵ ̶a̷ ̶f̴ ̴e̶ ̶w̷ ̵p̵ ̷i̴ ̴l̷ ̴l̵ ̶s̷"̶
̷"̵I̴t̷'̵l̷l̷ ̴b̷e̶ ̸
̶p̶
̴a̸
̷I̷
̴n̵
̵l̵
̸e̸
̴s̶
̶s̵"̷
̵.̴
̴.̴
̴.̶
̵.̷
̵.̶
̶.̸
̶.̵
̴­.̴
̴.̶
̴.̷
̴.̵
̶.̸
̶"̶G̷o̸o̸d̴b̸y̴e̵"̶

By the time you find this.
I will be floating in.
A river stained red.

Do not blame yourself.
For by the time we met.
It was already.

Much.
Too.
Late.

Yours No More,

                        Atlas

You have not been yourself lately.
I don't know who I'm talking to.
Things have changed.
You have changed.
When did you.
Get so distant?
And so sad?
Were you.
This way.
All.
Along?
Was it all.
A lie, a mask.
To hide the pain?
I just want you to know.
That even though you're not you.
I am willing to take a chance and risk.
My heart being broken again and again.
If in the end it means that you will be okay.












Okay?

The key to a relationship.
Is communication.
Right?

So then I guess.
That it was.
All my fault.

My fault.
That I get choked up.
Unable to speak.

My fault.
That tears clog my eyes.
And I begin to shake.

And you said to me,
"Just talk to me
Please."

Society is a prison.
It traps you in
And steals your freedoms.
Makes you conform.
Until you are normal.

So why don't we escape?

Because we are afraid.
Afraid of being alone.
Loneliness rots the mind
It steels the heart.

We all decided
Being trapped together
Is better than to be free
Alone.

"I think I love you"
I confess in a whisper
And I can see in her daffodil eyes
The doubt and despair
That tear her apart

A gorgeous sort of sadness
Consumes me
The kind you want to inhale
And hide away in your heart

.

You grabbed ahold of my hand.
Fingers clasping around mine.
Pointing towards the unwavering sunset.
And ****** me off my feet.
Unexpectedly.
Breath hitching
As you swung me.
Off the cliff.
In one fluid motion.
And.
I.
Fell.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.­
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was a long way down.
I guess I could've done something.
Something to live.
Anything really.
But what really.
Was there to live for.
When the one I love.
Wished for me to die?
What purpose was I left.
To cast upon this barren world.
Than to do what she wished?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
­.
I let the raging waters engulf me.
It was almost comforting, really.
And as soon as my skin.
Hit the icy liquid.
The life left from me.
And.
I.
Faded.
Into.
Oblivion.
Feeling.
S
H
A
T
T
E
R
E
D.
­.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I just can't seem to stop hurting people lately.
I just want to leave this wretched place.
I want people to forget about me.
I want to start anew.
I want to be reborn.
Into a world.
Where I.
Won't.
Be.
Judged.
And hurt.
Did you feel.
This way when.
You left our home?
Were you searching for.
A place where you wouldn't.
Be ridiculed and look down upon.
For the hurt you have committed to us?
For each and every mistake you’ve made?
That made you definable as human being?
They shouldn't matter, should they?
They really shouldn't.
But they do.
They.
Truly.
Do.

They tell me I'm gaining too much weight
Maybe they're right
My shoulders do feel really heavy

In the span of a second
I knew something was wrong

In the span of a minute
You managed to break my heart

In the span of 5 min
You grabbed your keys and left me

In the span of a few hours
I had cried till there were no tears left

God knows how much havoc
You could wreck with more time

I wish you could trust
In my love for you
Without me
Having to
Prove it
Every
Sec
on
d

We didn't work out
To you love was money and material
But to me it was affection and actions
Neither of us could provide for the other

Why did you have to let go
As if you were the only one holding on?
Now I'm grasping at your fingertips
Trying to keep us both afloat

It was my birthday the other day
I don't feel any different
I guess I expected to feel older
More mature
Put together
Whole
But god d * mmit
I'm as f * cked up as I was the day before

I found you slumped on the kitchen floor
Arms wrapped around yourself as you gaze at the tile pattern
It's times like this when I can't tell
What's going on inside your mind
All I can tell is that your thoughts seem to be going
200 miles an hour
Spiraling from one misery to the next
When you notice my stare
You get up claiming to need some air
And what can I do but leave you there?

Water pools around her feet
Constant stream of ripples
The river reflects bright light
As the girl sings a sweet melody
I watch from afar
Wishing I could sing along
To the sweet river girl

You see what you want to see
But we both know
I'm not who you want me to be

A cigarette hangs from the boys lips
Ash falling to the floor
Smoke rising into the air
It blinds his eyes
And clogs his lungs
He is bent over tears streaming
A cacophony of coughs
He doesn't regret taking a smoke
It's his own type of self harm
To be in pain as he watches himself wilt away

Another night in which I find myself arguing with God
As he mutter about how lost my mother is
I tell him, "But my mother hits me"
"She ignores me"
"She doesn't care about me"
And yet he continues with his mutter
Forgetting about my troubles
And all I can do is shout,
"She HATES me!!"
Yet once again he doesn't seem to hear me
I get it
No one does

Sometimes I choose to be sad
I know I don't deserve to be happy
So I'll stick with my melancholy tunes
And familiar beat up novels