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 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Trust Issues
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Sadly, the fear is setting in
My trust issues are surfacing
And I'm afraid it wasn't true..
But baby You know I believe you..
I just have some problems to work through

Loving me is going to be a challenge
I'm going to make you want to leave
Make you dread staying
I'm going to ruin your mood and mine
And you're going to have to work overtime

But remember dear, I'm working too
Trying to fix myself so that I can be
Good enough for someone like you
You're my Player 1 and that amazes me
So, I love you. Just bear with me.
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Me.
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Me.
I wish I wasn't me.
Then maybe things would be easy.
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Running
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
I've spent most of my life running

Running from my past

From what I used to be


I've spent most of my life running

Running from the truth

From my horrible reality


I've spent most of my life running

Running blindly, endlessly

Recklessly escaping, retreating


I've spent most of my life running

But maybe you can only run so much

Until you just can't go any farther


Maybe you can only escape so much

Before your running is pointless

Because you've been running in circles the whole time..
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Untitled
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Confusion.
Lots of it.
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Texting Him
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Well, here we go
Repeating the past

I swore i wouldn't
But I'm weak

So once again
I'm texting him
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Untitled
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
He told me that I
Was his little secret  
I told him that he
Was worth the pain  

He told me that I
Could hold his hand
I told him that he
Could bring me shame

And I know that it's wrong
And I know I should change  

But the words that he said
They drove me insane  

And I know that it's wrong
And I know I should change  

But  

He told me that I
Was his sweetest pain
I told him that he
Was my best mistake  

He told me that I
Could be his favorite lie
I told him that he
Could make me cry..
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
...Reality...
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
And suddenly it all hit me

....................

And now I feel empty
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Untitled
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
How can I be myself
When I don't know who I am?
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Get me drunk
Get me high

Watch me laugh
Watch me cry

Help me make mistakes
Help me get through today

I want to mess up
I want to feel alive

I've had a change of heart, you see.
**I no longer want what's good for me.
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
Untitled
 Dec 2014 Austin
Xyns
I need help.
I feel hollow.
........
Is this how freedom is supposed to feel?
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