birds ran today
never flying
never dying

Charlotte I'm so glad
that your          voice
                and freedom
were found
but now I feel
it is time to find
my
                                         own.
     -the tried and true of growing up

Wisdom arbitrarily determined
By tallied walls
Gains nothing but past mistakes
And generations’ stupidity

Why do we lie I wonder
It sounds better sure
those sugarcoated fibs
But their aftertaste makes me wonder
tastes like oil and grout
     -maybe we do it Cause people Can't handle vulnerability
Makes em ugly and and turns em sour
and leaves us out in the rain
bone chilled and curiosity gone

my words may always sound pretty
but sometimes i'm afraid they're only hollow

eyes downcast and heart heavy
my mother still smiles

Death is so far off
but I can feel it still
-dawning my grey pearls

monsters lurking in beds
with welcome smiles

Sweet child
Sometimes its ok to
close your eyes
-bruised sockets

That other girl is gone
Ellis is all that is left

His smile was the best kind of contagious

Def ear fallen in cacophonous tune
weightless over crackling floor
taming unknown burdens

I told her I loved girls
but I hated her
-what made it easy

There is something so raw about poetry
You need people to know
but not them
Not the ones you see everyday
but strangers?
     -Yeah They'll Do

my heart doesn't beat in my chest it rests in your's
-please don't crush it

souls standing in the mirror clear as glass
wasting our lives in thought iridescence
never would you notice us as we pass
exteriors shine blindingly florescent

Why need look more? Blonde, tall, and skinny
basic for sure. short, mousy, and brunette
you’ve seen the type. Just a mass city
walking under peer given name. Preset.

Masking our heart beating singular tune.
Towards directions anew. There it goes.
hidden in the dark of glowing moon
beyond the crescent’s glow, stay shadows

so when you’ve looked and you’ve seen
what more is there? Why look beyond the scene?

bra down
pearls clumped
eyes lusted towards headword pen
lips parted
with soldiers to her back
she's a picturesque statue

Art is built on saddened souls
feeling wronged by the world
-why every teen should love poems

In ideal I go by day
I need not label or self-definition
           I live as me
-And some days that's enough

We're peddling our bikes
hoping views will change
picturing grass greens and ocean blues
peddling under night's and mid-afternoon skies
following the nightingales and morning robins  
but the the point has been lost
and we're without wheels

Hello
How Are You?
Good, me too.
-So we say

To be anyone else in the world must on some passion feel grand
implanted in the seed of the vast growth of humanity
here i stand
me as i am
   -you can find me on Pluto II

Writing is like a road map
carving directions
through times of trouble and hardship
in little yellow lines
it tells us the way
and keeps us on our journey

I bought it
hanging purple
size double zero
in my closet
I won't let it go

I wonder
when I'll be able to put it on
when my body won't roll
when I'll be accepted
for who I am
And not the 129.6 pounds I held this morning

I run at five a.m. sometimes  
the face of diet culture
before the sun
c o m e s    up
with only moonlight to path my way
only venturing out
when my weight
drops, drops
d
   o
      w
          n
with my depression

.2 or more is the minimum
the equivalent of an extra cookie
a glass of water, a second helping
and my worth

I'm scared someone will see
my flaws

16 counted, growing
you taught them to me
shouted via ads
and social cues
and who you'll let on tv

my face, 4 pimples today
with rounded cheeks
I don't want to be the fat one
the ugly one
the girlfriend's best friend
the duff
the dud

But me is all that's left
1 fat duffy dud of a best friend

And as it is now
what value do I have

Am I their's
Or mine
Where do I belong?

I have a man
Trapped in my web
Kind in his ways
I wish to cocoon him
Within gentle thread
That will tug at his legs
And tie him to me

I lived by Catholic faith and law
so when I dream of her
it makes me nervous
   -I still think of him too

rainbows of glass
can be shattered
-part of growing up

God I'm gone
and so are you
-my bedside prayer

Today it all just crumbled
There I felt again
And I'm sorry to say
     -I fell

Didn't eat til 3
at 10 it’s screaming
-sinking stability

There is nothing for me
-Why won't I leave

The world doesn't need another sad, sullen poet
-But it still made me

If they knew how you made me feel
They'd never let me see you again

The windows are clear
and empty
-How to spot a missing soul

happy doesn't pay
-neither does depression

Dear Mama,
   I don't think you ever taught me to love.

With much indifference,
-Grinding rocks

it’s ok to love yourself
    it’s ok to let go of the hate
         -what i wish she had known

I've failed but this time I'll fail better