By just looking at me,
you'd never be able to tell,
That I hate myself so much ,
I eat till I don't feel well.

I lie to myself everyday,
The cravings always at bay...
Maybe today I'll be strong?
No, once again I'm wrong.

I feel so truly ashamed,
Who else can be blamed?
No one but stupid little me!
For hoping I could ever be free.

Food gives me comfort.
Food will always be there.
And if I never find love,
why should I even care?

I think of nothing else,
But the next meal to come...
I have never been special.
Am I special to anyone?

Sometimes in trying to build something up,
We must first break it down.
I have witnessed many smiles
Suddenly turn into frowns.

Bad Guy or good guy?
Well, depends whom you ask.
But after change, acceptance,
Will make you free at last.

Pushing you hard today,
May break your young heart...
Yet how could I not
Give you a kick start?

Love me. Hate me.
But always, always be
Nothing more, nothing less
Than completely, undoubtedly, free...

Mama didn't raise a player,
But here is the thing about me...
Two men want my attention,
But... 'twas once three!

When I walk my hips sway,
A rhythm hard to resist...
I turn must men down,
Yet they tend to persist.

Is it my dark, secretive eyes?
WHAT IS IT about me?
Two men love me deeply,
But... 'twas once three!

I am grateful for my luck
But the reason I sing my song
Its cause two men love me
But I only need one.

Eyes closed,
Hugging my knees,
Ignoring the cold,
And wishing for bliss.

A lonely girl
With nowhere to go,
Hoping and praying,
For love once more.

That's my story,
Each and every day,
But I'm only a stranger,
So you just walk away.

Sometimes I wonder...
"What's wrong with me?
Why can't anyone,
Notice that I am here?"

Then I lay back down
concrete against my back
A reminder from God:
At least I'm not dead.

Unlike many of you
I am fully, truly alive
I have nothing to lose
I'm not drowning in pride.

Here I sit,
Looking at you
But pretending no to.

Lending a hand
Every time you fall,
But not recognized at all.

Is this all there is to life?

I stand.
For once you notice me.
But is too late now
Today, You mean nothing to ME.

I am not scared of dying,
I am scared of how i'll die.
Does anyone want to go
With a knife through their eye?

Imagine feeling the tip
At the very back of your skull...
Would you still be conscious
When the medics tried to pull?

Or what if your car crashed
And there was no one around
To help you out of it
Right before that 'BOOM' sound?

Would you hear it yourself?
Or would you choke on smoke?
That's why I fear certain deaths
Doesn't sound very dope.

But if I went in my sleep,
At 100 years old,
I would smile down at my body
When upwards I start to float.

Now, here is my issue!
What if I was dragged down?
Hell isn't a fun place
That also makes me frown.

I better go to church
And stop this talk of death
When I go, I go
But it isn't my time yet.

Ink on paper warms my heart,
So set it a flame
And I'm yours from the start.

Ink on paper is a feeling of love,
Forever free,
Like a milky-white dove.

Ink on paper is very hard to do,
I fail over and over
And for that I feel blue.

But ink on paper is also a drug...
Can't let go or quit
Clouds your mind with its fog.

Its forever you know?
Your contract with it...
So think once, maybe twice
Before indulging in bliss.