just in case
you have been waiting,
someday never comes,
it’s always now,
it never changes
from that, so stop
saying it, someday
I’m going to do
this or that,
someday never comes

Lately I've been feeling
Disconnected from the world
It seems such a dreadful place
It feels far away from home

So I come to my safe haven
Read and write for hours
Write and read some more
And I know I'm not alone

For I get to see each of you
The outcasts, the weirdos
The misfits, the poets...
But above all, the kind

My little beacons of hope...
My people

This is not me writing you another poem
This is not me
Alone
It isn’t me
Pretending to be
Willpowerly
I ain’t the one stalking your profile
I haven’t been there in a while
You won’t find me right nearby
Listening for your call
I surely have erected
An impenetrable wall
You won’t hear me ever cry
I ain’t got even one more try
You won’t hear my wild wolf howl
Not because it isn’t there
It is me to whom you turn a deaf ear
And it’s not me still here

Work I have to do
Piling up
Making no room for thinking
Or peace
Or quiet in my brain

Tests
So many
I learn nothing from them
Yet I sacrifice the things that keep me alive
For those report cards
With an A as a grade

I beg
And sob
And plead to my mother
To let me stay home
Because have barely slept in days
My brain no longer functions
And that despite my medication
My panic stays

I didn't have time for reading
Or smiling
Or poetry
And for that last one
I'm sorry

Tomorrow I will try harder to read everyone's poems
And write some of my own

But for today
It's 10:30pm and I still have two tests, history homework, eating, and a shower to take take care of

I feel less than
For I am a number
Or maybe an object
For seven hours a day

I feel less than
For I am different
And you are under people
If you aren't the same

I feel less than
Because I can't make my own decisions
And the people who do
Don't understand what it's like
To be in my head

I feel less than
For even my own haunted mind
Seems to rule over me

Rarity generally sets the price
Then how would you assay
The cost of life

We can't see any more of it
From this rock on which we sit

At least not now
And maybe never
So the valuation
To the earth is tethered

Do we figure the ones
Once here now gone
Or just those
Among us in the throng

Do all pay the same
For their go at this game
Does it depend on what you got
Out of it
Do the winners pay more
Or the losers forestall
Any invoice coming their way
But you pay with your time
Taken back at the end of your line
So your bill is already paid.

Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.