One of the best feelings ever
Is when I finally
Get to be alone
And feel the relief of removing the mask
Of a normal, calm person

I can let out the breath
I didn't even know I was holding
And I can finally be
The weird specimen
That is me

I always knew
That he wasn't really normal
I mean Penny’s dad never yelled
Or cried
Or switched all the time
But I didn't really obsess over it
Until I was around eight-maybe nine
Memories of the day
And the sound of his sobbing passing through the thin walls
Kept me awake

I did what they warn us not to do
I took my phone
And Googled
His problems
His symptoms
The things that I had to suffer from

There were too many questions
I needed answers
I needed solutions

Haste not,
Let beauty brew
and bubble,
becoming more thorough
through the rubble.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned
I have drank from the sacred cup, tainting it with the atrocities of my mind.
Forgive me.
For I give you my life today and confess my faith in your son.
I dread the loss of heaven and fear the agonies of hell
Forgive me father
For I am not truly seeking forgiveness.
I have every intention of sinning again.
Letting it's sweet taste fill me up,
Allowing me to drink from the cup and experience salvation once more.

I’m chasing shadows
That can never be caught
You’re hanging in gallows
Hoping life can be bought
Maybe if you never look my way
We’ll never know it’s not enough

On a small boat
Made from
My own thought
I sail the river
Of my breath
Until the thought
That I brought
Dissolved gently
Into a thoughtless sea
Sailing, oh sailing!
To a thoughtless sea
Row, row, row my boat
Without thinking
Anything within me
The river of my breath
Has now taken me
To the very depth
Of a thoughtless sea

two sticks — you lit one
offered me your cig — wished you
meant         your bed             instead