I wander about the path solitude brought me to,
I wonder what i feel but speak in those interviews ,
I wonder how unkind was my own company to me ,
I wonder if I will have to live with the same person , i lived this birth with.

My words don't make sense to anyone ,
Some people think i am deep lost in my depression ,
Some think i have no interest left in any of my passions ,
The rest of them think that this cruel end of my story was a premonition.

I implored for mercy to god and humanity,
Tonnes of pyres is all i see in my vicinity ,
There has not been a day i have not been thinking of my disabilities,
Why did he implant in humans this feeling of fragility?

My soul denies to live today ,
the engines have stopped working and i am sure its the mayday,
I might have made a lot of mistakes which led me here,
Whenever i think about those things i wonder why i dont fear.

This delirium isloates me from this world,
I feel like a sheep far separated from the herd,
There not many reasons to my hamartia , not many lies ,
But today , the only protagonist of my parent's story dies.

Somehow things changed with time ,
She wasn't the same girl who used to dance in my rhyme,
The stage of my life had suddenly changed to a ugly mime ,
I had even started feeling that her days with me were an organised crime.

It was the place i loved being lost,
Everything there seemed pleasant , may it be thunder or frost.
How can i forget the words her tongue sketched on mine?
In her eyes i could see my love , i thought our relationship was divine,
But now whenever I think about her , i curse myself to be so unkind,
I wish i could correct my mistakes but unfortunately , time doesn't rewind.

With every thunder in the sky , it seemed , god took pleasure in taking a photo of ours,
We used to pray for each other with every shooting star ,
With her my every year passed like it was just an hour ,
If she was a disease , she left me with deep scars.

She was my source of gratification in the toughest time ,
My poems could never have been so beautiful without her rhyme,
She was the only protagonist of my every story,
Without her my words never possesed any glory.

I remember how we used to trod in the vale,
Two dopes debating sermons though none
of us used to fail.
Had you seen her in a garden, it would seem she is the only flower blooming,
Her breath smelled like the scent of peonies , whose longing has now made me stifling.

Nowadays i take care that no one hears me snivelling ,
I dont want them to see an exurbent guy grieving.
I try my best not to whimper seeing her smiling photo on instagram,
Last scene of my life , i always dream off is my head on her arm.

I broke down once again , in the middle of my journey,
The tears on my face , do they really seem to be funny?
I scream on my mother , call my father a ******,
I m really sorry daddy for opening my mouth.
I go crazy on my failures , i can't bear them anymore,
I don't want my parents to fight and my little brother to sore.
I just hate myself for breaking their precious dreams,
Sorry mama , i couldn't get you anything , but just tears and screams.
How do parents manage to love thier children and never negotiate?
Those children who think that their parents are their worst fate.

My mother
She wakes up in the morning works up until late.
She washes up the dishes regardless of the date,
I never see her complaining about the pain that I give her.
She always motivates me and never scolds for my failures,
My father
He works day and night for us , so that we can have fancy meals,
He used to give me what i wished, a kiss was all he asked from me,
I couldn't do at that time and now regret upon those deals,
I can't describe his generousness in words , i feel afraid god might curse me.

As I feel myself broken and everytime I sigh,
I sob upon my father's shoulder or sleep on my mother's thigh.
I don't know why they love me the way that I be,
Are they tied towards relations? Or its their unconditional love towards me?
I have seen two of the best people in my life,
And I wish they stay safe, happy here after cuz now,
They are free from their toughest phase,
I am sorry I couldn't do , what you wished for,
I worked hard completely ,but i can't manage to hurt u anymore.
God give them all the happiness and their life's best days,
Give them someone who can manage to be worthy of their praise.

We spent nights under the spell of the stars,
They used to lighten the holy intertwine of ours,
Her face looked magical in the light of my cigar,
Her body looked like a moon in a sky completely dark,
Her lips tasted like the best wine of the best bar,
Her steady movements could be compared to that of a jaguar,
Her moans felt like the gentle tunes of a guitar,
I still don't believe we got separated this far.
I still remember the taste of her skin,
I still remember the smell of her breath,
I still remember the night we had done this scene,

There was a time when I used to be the first,
It was the time when I had her to fill my thirst.
Now that you ask me my situation,
I may tell you that it couldn't have been worse,
She was a drug I regret being addicted,
I never felt that my story would've been this badly predicted,
Never in life I ever felt myself this distracted,
I wonder whether she was the only girl whom I had loved and protected,
Now that i m all alone nothing fascinates me more than the nature,
It makes me feel her presence and I feel I m living with her,
I find her attitude in the lush green mountains,
I find her smell in the wet sands just after the rains,
I find her spirit in fast flowing western winds,
I find her voice in the waves of the Arabian sea,
So I find her everywhere I go,
I feel sorry that I'd hurt her ego,
I started writing just because of her ,
I wanted our stories to be read by the world,
And I wished I'd never have to write this one,
I never thought i'll become so lifeless just because of a girl,
If she ever asks u about me , tell her that I died,
Because if she had lust then my unconditional love is not justified.