He has eyes you can drown in but I am reluctant to swim, he is very charming and has fire within. He can make me happy and he can make me sad but I don't want him to see the true me Because no one ever has, no, I don't mean my shell I mean my soul for I fear if he looks within I will lose control. So here is my version I have made for myself the picture I paint for everyone else.

Sunset is a pretty thing, so bathed in mystery,
And yet it is the saddest thing, when drenched with memory,
Sodden sunset soak the tears,
That fall so endlessly,
Silent sunset take my hand, and bring me down with thee.

No matter how bright it is outside I never fail to see only grey. I feel no one listens when I say I’m not okay. It’s like they ask but they don’t want the answer, so I lie to myself and act like my life matters. I do that to keep myself breathing. Because I know my life is fleeting. I sit and I wonder what’s over yonder and instead of breaking free from these things that are drowning me. I stay and I stay forever and longer because In my heart I feel I can’t go on past these rough waters. The waves begin to consume me and all I can see above me is water and grey clouds. But somehow I see beauty in all of this struggle for I know pain is truly a powerful thing.

I don’t know why I am so sad. I don’t know why I get so mad. I am always depressed and ready to die, I feel like I’m being eaten alive. I’ll be going about my day when suddenly it hits me, suddenly I’ll see my grave. I have so many blessings in my life but the pain just won’t subside. It’s like I have a demon inside, it’s like I cannot breathe yet I’m being forced to stay alive. I try to act like I’m happy and okay but people are starting to see me going back to my old ways. How much longer do I have? That question I cannot answer, I’m just a total disaster. I’m holding on by a thread that’s about to break I feel it I feel it someday soon I won’t be awake.