If this is a dream
it must be a
nightmare

Nobody will understand
the sadness and self-loath
I drown in.

You look good
And I'm not saying that as an afterthought
Something I forgot to mention and now I'm thinking it
Because I don't have you and that has past
My heart bleeds to see pictures of you
And what is the most excruciating
Is to think of you forgetting me entirely
I have attempted to move on, I won't lie
And I have tried, but I'm just kidding myself
Into believing that I could be good for anyone else now
I'm not all that great at being happy alone
I love loving someone else, making them smile

But no one can fill you space
I have a hard time imagining loving someone new
I'm in no place, I can't foresee tenderness
I don't think I've ever felt more guarded
I just need to let myself be alone
To settle down and experience living on my own

It's just when I saw you, I remembered how it was
To love you once more, and I was saddened
Because I remembered how I stood next to you
The times with beautiful moments
Ones that I would never want to forget
You meant so much to me
I just know the reason we eneded
That's my only consolation

But I could feel myself being pulled
In your general direction
A longing that I have dismissed
I ignored how I was feeling
Caught up in life's monotony
But I recognized that I do feel that way
I desire you now and I will
And that will be okay