Don’t be surprised
To come back to a closed door
Because you’re not welcome here
anymore
It’s not like you weren’t given a chance
You’re the one who walked away
Without so much as a second glance
So not only is it shut
But locked up tight
Only to open for those
Who treat me right

Oh two wolves of my soul
Fighting for the title of Alpha
One with fur like the snow
The other a shadow of the night
Both with a mighty howl
And an even stronger bite
The decision is mine
Which wolf I feed
The one I allow
To guide and lead me
Blood has been shed
On both sides I’m afraid
But an Alpha isn’t born
They’re made

It used to flow out of me
Pouring
What seemed to be a never ending abundance of words
Each one a window to my fears hopes and dreams
My pen would fly through the pages with ease
Unfolding all that I carried
Deep inside my soul
An outlet for the things that were oh so painful
But my pen
Has seemed to run out of ink
Suddenly so hard to clearly think
I write
I write
And I write again
I don't even know how to give this poem
An end

I'm a hopeless romantic
I dream of fun nights out on the town
Meaningful conversations under the stars
And a passionate kiss shared in the rain
I'm a hopeless romantic
I believe in marriage
And growing old together
And being attentive to each others needs
I'm a hopeless romantic
Longing to be seen in a way
That others have never dared to do
Afraid of losing their fantasies
I'm a hopeless romantic
But more than that
I am human
And a complex one I might add
Not so easily figured out
But what's the fun in that?
I'm a hopeless romantic
Loyal and caring
Wanting to know who my partner is
And how I can help them accomplish their
Goals and dreams
A hopeless romantic
Yes that's me

Stories are an interesting concept
A series of events that connect as a whole
With different characters, settings, and worlds
Some so iconic that they get passed down from
Generation to generation and survive the eraser
That is called time
They move and inspire us
Pull on on our heart strings like an instrument
The music pulling tears from our eyes
I live in a world of white pages and black ink
But never is it void of color

It was loud
So
Very
Loud
The wind pushed me to the ground
As it howled like a pack of wolves in the night
Ready to hunt and devour its prey
It was cold
So
Very
Cold
The rain flooding down
Sending a chill through my frail skin
And straight to my even more fragile heart
It was dark
So
Very
Dark
So real that I could FEEl it
Hovering over me
Waiting for me to break
But I'm not so easily taken
It was terrifying
So
Very
Terrifying
The only thing louder than this storm
The beating of my heart
Like drums of war
Pacing themselves
Faster
And
Faster
Until ...
It stops
All coming to a screeching halt
Turns out the only thing I feared more than the storm
Was complete and numbing silence
A ringing in my ears
And haze over my eyes
Everything is black and white
Void of color and sound
Im not cold or scared
Im not anything at all
Is this what it feels like to go numb?

It's not your fault

So please ... don't blame yourself
And know that it's ok to ask for help
Words may leave you feeling wounded
That your sad, pathetic, and stupid
Take no heed
Those degrading thoughts you don't need
I know that it hurts coming from the person
That you thought you could trust the most
But now is not the time to lose your self esteem and hope
What they say has more to do with them
Then it ever had to do with you
Making you feel like a failure no matter what you say or do
Do not...I repeat...Do not
Let someone else's insecurities and issues
Run your esteem into the ground
Let you fall and stay down  
You're worth more than you know
Time to get up and reach your full potential
Now go!