I want what every girl wants
Love that consumes me
Love that devours me

But I want what only I want
I want you
I want you to want me

You said I was safe with you
But you lied.
Just like the rest of them

The same song played 100 times gets old
The same dance danced 100 times gets boring

Yet somehow my mind never gets tired of tormenting me

With tears in her eyes
She walks down the hallway
Music in her ears to drown out the demons

But it’s not enough
She can hear their laughter
They laugh at the damage
The damage they caused her heart

Their cackles are deafening
She can’t hear the music anymore
Only their laughs

She misses her friends
But her friends forgot about her
She is isolated again

Was this her doing?
She can’t tell anymore
She doesn’t know what to think

She misses her old life
She misses being a child
Or maybe she still is just a child
But now a very broken child

How does one fix a child?

I  have been blocked from the world
The world I used to submerge myself in
I miss that world

I have been blocked from the good emotions
I have been blocked from happiness
My brain has betrayed me
My body has betrayed me

They know only what I tell them
They know only what they want to hear
They ask, I lie
They say, I lie
They agree, I lie

I have always been like this
But I don’t understand why
Why do I lie?

Will I always be a liar?
Not if I can help it
But what if I can’t

I lie to hide

But wait…
That’s a lie

Everyone leaves
Whether by choice or necessity
Everyone ends up leaving

First, it was my father
He left for drugs
He burnt the strings connecting us with the same lighter that he used to smoke the drugs
He ruined a nine-year-old’s trust
What a young age to stop trusting people

Then it was my grandfather
January 12th will be a date forever burnt in the back of my mind
The day my world came crashing down
I lost my absolute best friend
The worst day of my life

Who will be next I wonder
Who will leave
Who will get sick of me?