do you know,
what it's like,
to hate yourself,
but not just your face,
your entire body.
you look at your skin and it's much too pale,
you look at your chest and it makes your eyes bleed,
you'd gladly rip those out, pain and all,
I've considered it before,
to **** myself up so that they can be gone.

when your face doesn't match,
the way you wish,
then your voice interrupts your speech,
and you hate it so much,
you hate it so much.

you hate it so much.

you hate it so much.
you'd gladly go mute,
to make sure no one knows what you sound like.
if I'm lucky I might get them all gone
but I don't know how one can stay sane with all these flaws.

My chest hurts,
it hurts so much.
my body hurts,
it hurts so much.
My chest hurts,
it hurts so much.
my body hurts,
it hurts so much.
because of these,
alien things on top of me,
get rid of them for me,
won't you please?

dysphoria
days nights and years
dysphoria
days nights and years
days nights and years

I draw
I draw a face
Is it yours?
No, not exactly

Because I draw from memory
And my memories are weak
I'm sorry
I have no pictures of your smiling face

I draw
I draw a bird
No, not a crow
A raven
Very different birds.

I don't draw it dark enough
I'm too scared
If it's too dark,  there's no going back
Don't touch the 9b

I draw
I draw a storm
Not my storm, no
Just a storm

Wreaking through the houses
The walls
The roof
Just to get to you
And I let it

I draw
I draw a mountain
That I will not climb
I refuse, it's too big

A mountain of my fears is always too big
I don't wish to try
To climb
The things I cannot control

I draw
I draw tears
Tears that were mine
But no longer Belong to me

The tears for you that I shed
The tears I wish I did not have
The tears rolling in the back of my head
The tears wishing you never bleed

I draw

Dank memes
And dark dreams
Welcome to my mind
Where thoughts viciously bide
And where I go to hide

My
Thin blue lines
Are the targets
For your cries
Can’t think
For how sick
We made ourselves.

My
Thin blue lines
On my hands and wrists, I’m blind
Remove my sight,
Remove my eyes
Take my ties
And cut my lines,
My thin blue lines

Dropping constant lies,
Everything’s fine
Constant false smiles,
I’ll be on time
Tomorrow, today
Always
Keeping away,
Can’t say different,
Won’t it be brilliant.

My
Thin blue lines
On my hands and wrists I’m blind
Remove my sight,
Remove my eyes
Take my ties and
Cut my lines

Seething, livid gaze,
Look through a haze
Constantly fired,
Easily liars
Tomorrow, today
Always
Keeping away
See red so easy,
Can’t say you’ll see me

My
Thin blue lines
Are the targets for my cries
Can’t think
For how sick
We made ourselves