You deny every gift handed to you
Just to feel something
When you feel too much too little too ugly
Too often

Prolonged Seconds
Painted on my Iris
The reflection I hide by closing
My eyelids
Tied them shut
To shun away a virus
In search of weak bones
To inject the violence
We're targeted
The auto-pilot *****
Devoid of sense
Go here, sign this
Another problem their paid to fix
The **** I see and hear
Sometimes makes me sick
So I sit wait and sit
Holding for another ******* expectation
Defeat, repeat, defeat, repeat:
While I hold my breath
Survive for a few more prolonged seconds
2-21-11

Let's be real...
Can a Libra love?
Oh ****, here she comes
Her essence is next to
the sweetest dove
I've found her innocent
Disposition's only a trick
Little games she creates
Then gets too bored to ****** finish

She said, "well what's the point of even fishing,
When I had caught the only fish who ever made me seem smitten.. The only time I spit
I LOVE YOU and actually meant it
To this day, I still wait
For it to say
A certain sentence
One so significant, so genuine

Deep down, I know it won't
So it mother ******' goes
I won't forget the time you told
Me that I didn't love you only loved the mold/ I sculpted
In my broken skull cap
As if you were just a ghost that
I didn't understand each tiny lil piece and couldn't read your atoms, just as easily, as I could breathe

You'll never fully believe this
I mean it's, awfully gd sad
So how bout ******* buddy
Truth is, I can't love  after that...
I Keep imagining the laughs
And All these flashes of magic
I never thought I had
I learned from you and yearned
For the few visits that I did get

Though most are
Mad moments I'll forever cherish

In all fairness I thought you
Should be taught a lesson too
Let you Stare off, sullen
not aware of what you do

He stomped my heart like a bug
Then proceeds to make an art
Of zapping my synapses
& harvesting my counterparts
(But Why though? You try and hide those /mighty ******
high hopes you have)
To build yourself a new start"

A winter storm builds outside my window
I leave it open then proceed to punch the pillow
Only. So. Often.
The coffin
Must feel similar to this
People who refuse sleep
But keep getting buried
On a loop
A pitch black room
Oh so relaxing
Watch me toss, turn, and flap
A billion times across this matress
And now
Delirum becomes a pass time
It's insomniac Olympics
Such a *****,
That I win every time

Weak,
Your finding meaning
By pleasing, each and every
Transmitter
What a way to let em have it
Flap yo jaws
All flabbergasted
Mad at the fact
You fell for a sad trick
And kept on running toward
What I thought was magic...
They said I could have it
.....................................
Along with a scratch
To add to the list.

... it's freaking frightening
To feel the rope pull a little too tight in me
Turns out they had thought

Most likey they
Should lie to me

May you sleep in your final resting place
May it wash the tired from your face
May your eyes grow back their light, rid you of your wrongs overnight

And spare you
Spare you of that horrid sight

May you resist the urge to scratch
Shrug off the cringing as you look back
Back at the laughs you won't get back
And the trail of fabric you have yet to patch
Picking
At
Your
Scabs
Only
Make
Scars last
This I've learned from the things I lack
"One cannot run from their past"

You were,
Infected
And doomed to roam the Earth
With the horrid sight on repeat

Tortured souls
Placed gracefully
On tempered coals
"Don't sqeal, don't wimper, don't say a word"

They whisper
Because they can't stand the sound of their own indecency
..and ancient echoes ring through

"May you find freedom somewhere else
Fried through each and every cell
Into you , countless angels fell
But for now FOCUS...

Now, I know this place resembles hell
One day they too will perish
When that day comes
They will hear the screams of tortured souls
You my child, will see waving hands and windchimes

"So, for this glistening moment in human history
FOCUS .. on something bigger than yourself
Don't shrudder
Dont Shreik
Simply lay there lovely as ever
And burn."