So what is recovery?
Is it that tingle in your cheeks
When the corners of your mouth meet
Upwards.
Is it that sparkle in your eyes
Because they're no longer suffocated by your cries and you now have the potential to realise
You are strong.
Is it that glimpse of light, that for so long had been out of sight, that you cling onto tight, through fear
It's only temporary.
Is it rediscovering yourself, rebuilding your health and developing a new wealth
Of coping mechanisms.
Is it realigning the chemical imbalances in your brain, so you no longer feel insane, so there's not less pain
But a mind that can handle it.
Is it the glimpse in the mirror where you don't turn in horror but you greet and honour the person that you are.
Is it the fear, that's consumed you year by year, that's brought the end so near,
That starts to evaporate.
Is it eating a meal, and not having to feel like
You need to punish yourself.
Is it hearing voices, but no longer allowing them to dictate your choices,
Because they don't own you anymore.
Is it putting down the bottle, because you're fed up of the throttle
It had you in.
Is it the feeling when you finally win
Back your own heart and mind
When finally you look inside
And don't find
Darkness but light,
When the night no longer scares you
And the days you can finally pull through
Or is it simply a phase
A gaze at what could never be
For there is no clarity,
No prospect to be free
In chains and nooses
And scars and bars.
In bodies that fight to survive
Trapped inside a mind that fights to take our lives.

Some of us; shall never be undone
We fight a war;
That could Never be won.

it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another’s,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another’s face your sweet hair lay
in such silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be—
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands

Sorry for staring,
Your visage has simply stolen my words

I could craft volumes of poetry on your eyes alone,
I swear I see the souls of sapphires
In those bottomless pools of azure

But here, now, I am spellbound,
Bewitched by beauty,
Captivated by curves,
And I hope I can crack out a "Hello"

So many miss the dawn
Still cloaked with the night
And the soul in your grip
Smothered heart beats feebly
The pain is palpable
Morning comes and goes
While we are busy drowning
in our own tears

Fear is a man-made obstacle course
That you push yourself to relive before trying out

Fear is becoming unnatural
Because it's no longer about surviving violence

Fear is all in your head
All you have to do is not fear

I miss when you were a child you would pretend you were an airplane,
Spread your arms out and run across the backyard like it was the sky
And you were flying over the baseball parks and lake nearby,
Back when your shoes had Velcro straps because you couldn't tie them,
And you took naps every day so you would grow up tall and good.

I miss when you were a child and you weren't always so apprehensive,
You took chances and had faith in your yourself like a bird with its wings,
And tomorrow wasn't even considered
Because today there was so many things to see.
Back when that mushroom haircut wasn't your decision
And mom only allowed you to have sugar free lollipops after the doctors,

Yeah, I miss that so much.

I miss when you were a child.