Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I know about these demons
All of them by name
The vices they have gifted me
Conversing with my addictions
Making plans for the future
And tightening the chains

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I've identified all the leaks in my hull
Letting the Atlantic rush on in
Duct tape can not fix every hole
That you have left in me

Today I stopped believing I was a good man
I do not care about this body anymore
Wishing to rid myself of it
Liberation will be the song I shall dance to
Once this heart has forgotten it's rhythm
And my blood pumps in tune again

golden sliver, Fistfuls of skin
Such a scenic sight
Clenched sheets like prayers,
Hailed gospel to the ceiling
All was holy in the twilight,
I spoke aloud my wantings
You replied with your own,
I've fallen for eden,
Knowing the consequences
Lord have mercy
On our sinning souls

I want this to be short and simple,
I hate myself
I love you
I'm willing to make myself better
Just to hold you close again

There came a time
Where I did not think of tomorrow
I only hoped to see the end of today
Pleaded for a sign from somewhere
I was met with a desert,
The cool of the night,
A cry for mercy,
And the silence of war

Don't know how much this hurt
Felt numb to the whole situation
But when you shattered my existence
I found my only solace in bottles
Blow didn't even do The trick
I'm a lot like you in this sense
The only one willing to fight for this
The only one willing to strive for the better
My body is lost somewhere pool side
Yours is 3 stories up with a fistful of paper work
Mine is 6 feet deep with a question on my mind
To stay or to go?
That is all and everything to me
I'm just strong enough to tell you

My god she's got angels in her throat
Every word sounds like a melody
She could read me tax reports and
I would mistake them for love songs
How can I compare my notes to yours?
How did you steal the ocean from my gaze
What love is this that has its own orchestra
One that wakes the trees in the morning
And whispers lullabies when I dream

These kids been out on battlefronts
Holding pistols like prayers
Seeing yearbooks on the news
Mothers folding into themselves,
Masses march streets for solace,
Searching for an end to all of this,
But when firearms fight the fears,
It's hard to dream without one

If there was an orchard in my lungs,
You left me with not a single breath of air ,
When you danced into the room,
I wondered from what garden did you bloom,
Something close to eden, holy treasure,
And I want to learn about your dreams,
What are your thoughts on the rain?
Do you love the ocean the same way I do,
What do you think of when you see the moon,
Forgot about december and July's burning sweat,
Didn't even know the sound of your name,
All the music in my arms couldn't do it justice,
But I held my tongue,
Took all the sunlight when you hurried home,
Still think about what could've been

Most days I find myself daydreaming
of my skull painting the walls of the room

You’ve got Orion in your eyes,
Shimmering and stumbling
all the way home
You with the audacity to live
To breath every northern wind,
Holding the ocean in your palms,
Arms stretched out waiting for
someone to grab on,
Journey to your moon and back again,
rub the cosmos on your gums,
Just like it was your first time

I swallowed the photographs like vitamins,
washed them down with rusty tap water,
I’ll tie bows on the parts we gave thanks for,
One day the roar of the atlantic will pull me under,
Make fishbowls of my lungs and fill them past the brim,
Leave this body for the fishes so their bellies stay full

Fire!
Fire all around!
Burn me now sinner woman
Burn this body to the ground
Teach my your sinning ways
Teach me all that soul
Shake those hips sinner woman
Take me back home with you,
Back to that southern heat,
Away from this northern rain,
Sinner woman teach me,
All those beautiful sounds

For some reason,
After you left again,
My insides painted themselves blue,
The mirrors all stared back,
Searched for the floods in my side,
Jarred up the thought of you,
I'm letting it sit for the summer,
Maybe it'll be ready in the fall

For you who called for a moment,
One filled with seasons of house lightning,
Storms booming in the eyes of sofa cushions,
Splitting a room from chandelier thunder clouds,
This hilltop hierarchy has made mountains of molehills,
Barnacled itself unto the names of our forefathers,
Made porcelain tears in the eyes of mothers,
Do you not see all the spotlight in this tragedy?
All this powder and masquerade,
Simply to be seen whole again

This mind of a Martyr
One still ready to die for this,
Forgot my tears
Far too heavy to hide in this,
So chin up and stone faced,
With your fingers wrapped
around my monuments,
Ready to salvage the wreckage,
These marbled memories,
Still glisten in the eye of the sun

Sometimes I have visions of you,
On occasion you cloud my dreams,
Most days are spent with saxophones
that only know how to sing your name
And most nights are spent sipping bottles
that might just drown all the butterflies
you left in my stomach

She is a library,
I say this because it is hard
to compare her to anything else,
Inside her walls lies story after story,
Knowledge that is wise far beyond her years,
She is a beauty,
one that will belong to no one but her own,
Sometimes she will lend me parts of herself,
Books I will treat as such,
which if anything is not my own,
I will hold her spine dear,
Careful not to damage the pages
Drink her words, let them sit in the pit of stomach,
She will call back for the borrowed parts
These temporary treasures,
I will carry close to my chest
And cherish every word

Momma says to be honest with these
Says all your prayers should be that way
Well I've been burning myself to see the sun
Hoping that the sun will come one day
That one day I will be stained glass
Colors will burst from my insides
And we can call that day sunday
My prayers will be honest than
To the God that forgot our names
to remember only his own
And when that God cries forgiveness
I'll take back the times I cursed his name
For the way he snatched those I loved
right out from between my arms
When that day comes
I will pray more honest like

All these pent up frustrations,
Banging on my insides,
Playing their anthems on my bones,
Waving a flag for news of the fallen,
Take back my morals,
Return me to my bed,
I'd trade my soul for pocket change,
Sick of the tongues knotted in nooses,
Tired of the silence used and useless,
These pens done gone and run out on me,
Dried themselves of all that is left,
So slit my wrists and write with blood,
Because that's all this really is anyways

When the heavens open up
And the rivers sings loud,
I hope you make instruments of trees
Hold steady by my side darling
Take away these night aches
Swing your hips beside mine
Move your body to the light of the moon

Slow and steady wins the race
so please be patient with my heart,
I'm back to notebooks filled up past
the brim with simple love poems
and an empty bed to preach them to,
She has done and filled me up,
Put light back in my smile and
remembered that blue is my favorite color.
So even with hearts beating fast
playing kickball inside my ribcage,
I will walk slow, remember that
slow and steady will win the race,
So hold my heart, and teach it patience

We who at funerals tend to weep,
We who stay close to grave digger's feet
Hoping that our time will come sooner,
That the bruises will be black and bluer that the last,
Replaying all the memories from the past,
Because I know that I am looking
for a new bed to lie in,
A new heart to confide in,
A new body to die in,
Cause this one's got nothing left,
So clip these wings and shackle my feet,
Sink me twelve meters deep,
Fill the insides with the ocean,
and let this slumber set softly

The brook keeps babbling away,
Telling the stones to hold their tongues,
The water to slow down for a bit,
For these days are long
and the nights feel ever so empty,
Daisies have craned their necks over the sides
Hoping to befriend whatever breathes below,
And the brook babbles away,
Telling all the secrets that sailed its spine,
As they pass by the banks
And wave goodbye to those still standing

Everything from this afternoon
1. I do believe that moths are just distracted butterflies
2. Butterflies may also be distracted but in a way others find acceptable
3. Have you ever wondered why stop signs are red?
4. Between all these thoughts, your face and name remain somewhere infused in them.
5. There are so many waves in an ocean, some that swell and break. One day, I hope to count them all.
6. My father taught me always to listen to understand, not to reply.
7. These eyes float full and heavy, I Pray the rain holds off just a little while longer. Enough to embrace you one last time.
8. I wrote this list, everything that was worth writing down. I've been trying to give it to you with hope that you will read it sometime.
9. If you're reading this I hope you see it was never really a list, just trying to tiptoe around the fear of losing you. Honestly, it is the only thing on my mind.

Baltimore is bleeding,
Boys in blue blind to faces,
War being raged over races,
Can't tell what this place is,
Blocks where I spent my sundays,
******* with police and gunplay,
Hood up to conceal my color,
Complexion passed down to me from mother,
Hard to find peace when the avenues erupting
Nothing seems to matter when you're fighting for something,
So please pray for this forest of concrete and lamp light,
Scared for the events that are coming after midnight

If you've never seen a cherry blossom bloom
Spring must be difficult to understand,
Transforming in a night to blotches of pink
Painting the blue of the sky in a stretch of wonder,
The pedals will fall, dancing through the air
As their journey comes to an end on the soft earth,
The roots, they grow wide,
Grasping to the edges of the soil,
All the windows are opened up wide,
Dreaming with the scent of the world on my sheets,
Spring be the most beautiful of seasons

You are a simple being,
Feeding your dreams to the mouths of your children,
Wondering how far must the sidewalk lead,
Never have you bit the hand that feeds you,
You are a simple being,
One wide-eyed and thinking,
This was a long way you came,
From the place you once called home

You've got me speaking Neruda,
Sonnets circling around in my head,
Rolling those sweet words from the tongue,
Surrounding this daughter of the seas
So I'd like for you to hold still,
And let this heart dance within me

I watched the moon creep across your chest,
Held your hips against mine,
Bare and alive we shared the twilight hours,
Tangled sheets among thighs,
Read poems beneath your waist,
Felt the shiver of your spine,
Heard nothings in the holy of night,
Gave way to the thought of forever,
Kept me awake till the sun