I am crazy!
That's who I've become
My laughter rings
I love to run!
Shining eyes
I talk loud and fast
This side of me
I wish would last

I cannot focus
She thinks I'm ******
He puts me down
The dark alone
You've seen before
The hidden eyes
Let go of your thoughts
We're all gonna die!

Something or...
Somebody put me here
So I could take his place
Whoever this poet was
I don't recognize my face
I would never write
Such self indulgent words
From the old Traveler
Seems like
That's all we ever heard
No one needs to know
Where I go or...
Where I live
I'm still at the age where
I love to get and give
But who ever put me here
In this old fellas boots
At least you could have left me
With a hint of why or...
Who!

(Not a poem, a wake up call)

It's actually a very simple thing
Every human on earth deserves
To live with dignity
  Food, shelter and love...
I'm doing all I can to make up
For the deficiency.
An innocent eye opens at birth
How will they view the world
With a hungry heart
Or a hungry belly
Sheltered form the storm
Or lost in the tempest
World views can change
It we get our hearts in the game!
Make the world a better place
Please!
...........................................

Please
Forgive my ink
You know we are
All on the brinks
It's to **** dark
Who can even think
So I'll just write this
And send it
Into cyber space
......................
The entropy of eternal sleep awaits
All of are particles lost in space
There we shall finally be as one
Simple stardust where life begun
................................

Pain grounds me to reality
I can feel it while watching TV
Pokes and prods
Will you please
Figure out
  What's ill'in me...
Take some blood
Hypnotize
Figure out what will not die
Blame it all on yesterday's
Disruption is the final stage
...........................................

I need to be going now
That's what Travelers do
Stay long enough to break
And bend all the rules
Transmittal received
Please call home
Somewhere from beyond
The danger zone...

Here the shadows hide
In the stressful darkness of wandering thoughts
When ever I'm here and where ever I get lost
It's not my fault
That's what lovers do
  I never meant for this to happen
  To you...

I am disturbed
My mind is but broken
I stare at the wall
My thoughts are all frozen
Shell of the man I use to be
Lost in my brain
I'm no longer me
......
Where did I go
Who really knows
Your only talking
At my ghost
They won't let me drive
Or stay home alone
All my people
In a nurse's role
......
I long for my old life
While I just let go
No longer me
Can I borrowed a soul
......

I’m having trouble
With communication
I talk far too much
  In all my relations...
All I’m really looking for
Is instant gratification
I long for home but
My heart
Seem to be
  On a vacation...
I realize
This is all just
Broken
Poetic contemplation...
................................................­

Dreams I no longer
Second guess
I leave this reality
This present mess
I slumber and forget

Older than dirt
I crack A smile
I hold on to love
Mile after mile
In a cesspool
Of regret
I slumber and forget

In poetic thoughts
I get lost
On my bed I get tossed
Listening to music
I dance
I give life
One more chance
Running from my regrets
I slumber and forget
...........................

Year after year of husbandry
I've come to know my flocks
The mutts are all but purebreds now
Their love and loyalty is my lot!
To the howling at the moon
To the coyotes across the field
Heckling laughter fills the night
  A hunger for the ****...

The crops are doing well this season
Still the buds will need to dry
I make my sacrifice of reason
Blowing smoke rings to the sky

And here my heart beats of wonder
As she lays down in my bed
She quietly calms the thunder
Going on in my head
I can feel the goddess
Deep within my sheets
I pray like a pagan
For my love and world to keep
....................................................

Picked up my guitar
I forgot I could play
I brushed the dust back
Back from my grave
No more, no way
Will I be death's slave!

I started to jam
Wining again
Pick myself up
I can even play
Van Helan
Where the hell have I been?
I've been keeping all of me in
I'd rather live
Live to the end!

And all who suffer
The ignorance of man
I play my guitar
As tied are my hands
Yet free is our voices
So let us be heard
Giving up
It just seems absurd!

Living deep
Out in my forest
In an attempt
To close my mind
It fail upon
A dark October
In a better
  Vanished time...
When we were young
And life was bolder
I never thought
We'd get older
While recklessly
We lived as if we
  Could never die...
In drones of silence
The heart beats on
Slowly now
As I write my songs
And here I play another solo
   As I turn to face the night...

The difference is simply
Our willingness to communicate
Thesaurus' can be quite confusing
If a word isn't in one's vocabulary
It takes the fun out of reading
Sorry didn't mean to offend!!!

Hell,
Punctuation gives me nightmares!

Wickedly evil!
This beautiful trip
Pretend not to notice
The tares that we've ripped
Buy another car, drink another beer
Hell! We can't even see Yemen from here!!
Saudi Arabia, indeed! one of our good friends
Global warming will be the deaths of us all
In our final bitter end!


"We need change"
Seriously!

The world gets in the way
But love wants to go home
I take you with me
Everywhere I roam!
...................................

I would never turn away
And just let you die...
I would never leave you
In the middle of your night...
Silent angel
Sad blue eyes
I will hold you
Beyond the light!

One last poem
Beyond despair
In the morning
I'll still be here!

Why would I hate you
Brother?
A heart's allowed to grieve
I would forgive you
Throughout time
"Forever"
And in-between!
Some of us recover
Even overcome
You were once as close
As Jesus to the sun
I sill love you
Brother
And now it's said and done.
..............................................

I took a little trip
To the ward
The other day
Down through
The crazy maze
The cheese trying
To persuade
So I simply explained
I am just a Poet
A little out of faze
They prescribed
Me Prozac
And sent me on my way!

Other people's hell's are worst then mine,
I just get lost here and there, in and out of time.

The funny thing
When she walked in
I glimpsed an average
Lady of my age
Well surely
A few years younger
Then my slave master
#1 Girlfriend! (abusive care taker)
Yet as I took this nice lady for a tour
Of our Dog friendly kennel
As she spoke
Her words touched
Like massaging hands
Her eyes shined
As they peered through my soul
With her heart exposed
Her heart a mirror reflection
Of what I forgot could exist
I wondered...
Why do I resist?

I get it
I'm broken inside
Most of me would like to die...
She keeps reminding me
I can't do anything right
The pills I take
Impair my sight
24-7 she lets me know
I'm but a burden
That needs to go!

In the muck of wonder
We were both there
I ran my tendicle's deep
Through your carnal tares
Two amoebas thriving alive
Such poetic protoplasm
Even as parasites
We survived
Life after life!

Don't **** with me
It's not a safe bet
I'm probably
The craziest Poet
You ever read
My words condemn
I rhyme unkind
I've sold my soul
Far too many times!
As for love
I have failed
So many losses
A survivor of hell
But...
If by some off chance
You stop by my page
And take a glance
Keep in mind
With tongue in cheek
I like to dance!

Oh my!!!
I do believe this could be it!
Nothing short of the end....
Some people will break
Others will bend
Guns and bombs
Shall shake our souls
The psychopaths
In our midst
Shall play their roles
If you don't believe me
Watch the News
They're coming for everybody
They're coming for you
Time to wear that
Bulletproof vest
Don't be a fool
This life is a mess!

Perhaps there's a force
Behind these poetic flows
A gathering of life times
All of our personal
   Hell's in toll...
Images
Cave-wall drawling
Books we've may have written
All our experiences
       All our misgivings...    
Here and now
Trapped within!
The subconscious mind
Warps and bends
To be a Poet
A calling within!!!

Please come back
My longing heart calls
Such kindness you've shown
You've softened my falls...
Come back my muses
My loving friends
Leave me not
Here alone
  Unable to mend....
Please come back if you can
My dearest HP friends
.........................................

For me
Love is so hard to hold
And you, you burn like a
Red hot blistering coal
Truths get in my way
***** deeds I've done
Refuse to simply
Just fade...
Even I've hurt someone
While lost in life's maze
But now my guilt weighs a ton
Yet if I could
If I had it in me
You would be the one!

Thank you for being my friend!

I am but a poem
My body made of rhymes
I have been written
One too many times
Beauty I often read
Love I wish to know
You, you are an explanation point!
You let your feelings show...
But as you can clearly see
I'm a simple paragraph
Easily as I was written
I am doomed to pass...
Yet it's all been written before
After all
I am a poem
Nothing more!

Dear revolving doors
Like so many before
I could go
  Leave this sight...
Hell, I turn it off
Every night...
I can't support us
The way HP need be
Don't get me wrong
I can almost
   Take care of me...
  Of course that is....
As long as I have
My Poetry!

Once upon a time
26 years ago
I was forced
To stuff those feelings down
All that had ever
Made me sad
Or left me feeling low
Such feelings I denounced
So easily they seemed to go...
That's when I started writing
Poetry to save my life
Bars upon those windows
And beyond the free sunshine

So many years
I escaped my miseries
Unfortunately
They all still existed
Somewhere
Subconsciously...
Life is a struggle
Trying to realign
Poetry connected me
To the Divine
..............................

Normality
A struggle
In the disturbance
Of my role
Dread
A hormone
Pumping through my soul
Please free me
Let my weary heart beat
Open up my mind
Let me flow my ink!
........

Is it but a mere coincidence
That you recognize my character?
The language of our soul's
We carry forevermore everywhere....
Of course your voice is always there!
Poetry has always been our special affair....

Read you here, there and everywhere
Forevermore!!!!

She don't like it!
When I'm down
She gets *******
When I drown
***** to ***
Temporary glue
A couple of pills
To **** the blues
Yet I must confess
A big fat joint
Feels the best!!!!

MY DEAR POETESS
CJ Love

Before the Night
Placed the moon in your hair
The Sun it shined your beauty
Everywhere!
Into my words
Dividing the seas
Drawn by Nature's
Heart felt need's
The gift of Poetry
Set my soul free
..............

P.S. Come be with me....

Feel free to plagiarize
If you see
Something you like
If you step inside my mind
I will give you all my light

You could never break my soul
Feel free to steal and lie
Yet
I will always love you
Somewhere deep inside!!!!

Who made these maps
That encourage such ignorance
Innocent people are dying out there...
Who shall return
In time to gather the righteous
Surely some deity cares...

So powerful the wicked
That rule the meek...
Their big money
Keeps our voice's weak...
We are all equal
And I won't ever forget...
My hands are tied
That's my greatest regret...

Life will grab ya
By the genitals
Squeeze real tight
Until ya start to swell!
Hold your's safely
No one needs to fail
We all have control
Over our own hell’s
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There existed no switch to turn it off
No such component in a Poet's thoughts
The deepest of meditation
Is but a Poet's contemplation

Words bleed from all we see
Beauty, laughter and sorrow
Forever set poetically free
My Friends!
This is what we were meant to be!

Then the words
Were no longer there
The mind had broken
Beyond repair
Limited memories
Of me and you
I'll be back
Before I'm through!!!

My mother never calls
She....Well
I, I loved her, most of all!!!!!!
And even at this stage of life
Perhaps a word from her
Could set any simple things right....?

She's my mother whom
I love her with all my heart
And all my might
Yet..........................................
She knows all my stumbling blocks
She's seen
All the love that I have lost
She know my heart
Has suffer great
Yet her finger points at my mistakes.........
!.....?
I miss her finger
I know I lived wrong
Yet we need a family!
To help us stay strong
If she won't call me
I hope she lives long!

And so it is another day
Plenty of sunshine
Rainy and grey
I'm sure change
Is coming this way
To the good
Or to the bad
To much weather
Can drive one mad

But what is weather
If not the force of change
Ice and snow melt in pain
Puddles of mud fall in love
Tracking dirt in
On the living room rug
And there a stain
Upon the heart
Forecasting storms
Will never part!

I fell in love
With a shot of ***
Unfortunately
The disturbance fades
If I drink more then one...
PTSD
Sometimes kicks my ****
Ya....
I'm off to the next A/A meeting
Truth can be tough....

Too much hard life
Seen far too much
Grew up in Flint
Prison and such...
Back in the Military
**** those stars and stripes!
I tried to forget the blood shed
With all my might

But you know
Somebody cares
And so
I'll be alright!!!

Dear Sweet Poetess
If you were mine
I would love you
To the end of time...
All your needs
As mush as I have
Dear Sweet Poetess
You drive me mad...
I must confess
My heart is in need
Your's are the words
I long to read...
Dear Sweet Poetess
You set my heart free!

It shakes me to the core
Unrest at our gates
I'm talking
Suffering human beings
So we send them away??

Bombs, U.S. grade
Everywhere on the
Whole worldwide stage
You can find the proof
In our pockets....

I sleep in a warm bed
My cupboards are full
I have more then I need
I have more than I could ever use
How did this come to be
Here on this little planet
Out of billions of suffering beings
I'm living the American dream
....

Solid metal
Becomes my mental box's
PTSD
Can be hard to keep locked
It holds irrational fears
Residues of yesteryear's
Clinching onto the grim
Realities of past sorrows
But of course I'll be back
This way again tomorrow!
.........

Hay!
How about you and I?
I could make you laugh
You could make me cry
We could live the golden lie
Make believe
We know how to fly
What do you say
Give it a try?

Sometimes I neglect
To confess
But please know
I love you
With every last breath!
............

In my mind
There exist a thought
I'm not sure which thought it is
But the thought is so powerful
When it comes into my mind
I blackout, staring into space for hours
I guess my heart must be coward
....................................................

Is reality really real?
This thing we refer to as life
Or do we dream that we were
Born and somehow managed to be
Brought up right?
Holding on to love and regret
With all our invisible might
Suffering, enjoying
Every stage in between
Sanity is fight or flight
Life is but a dream
......................

I had already received
My allotted amount
Yet once again this crazy life
Has me down for the count
Trying to explain
Is the hardest thing
If it weren't for being poetic
I could never break free
Words are the only thing saving me!