Sorry this poem
Wasn't suppose to be
Written this way
Strangely arranged
Vaguely conveyed  
Last minute changes
Just like her love
Seems my last stanzas
Has run out of luck
....

What is behind an eye
A place where a fear resides
A love that stretches
Both far and wide

Far more than a place
To simply mask a lie
There's so many different eyes
So many bright and brilliant shining eyes

Does eye color somehow matter
Can blue eyes feel sadness sadder
The odds favor your eyes to be brown
Which are some of the nicest folks around

Or perhaps these descriptions are stereotypes
Because green-eyed people just love to fight
And eyes with freakish hues of silvers and blues
Can capture your heart and run you through

Yet from a common unfounded point of view
My eyes are hazel and a bit red too
In the perfect shadow of a wicked moon
They can appear a shade of handsome blue

But let me not lead your reading eyes astray
Hazel stands for slimy green goo turning grey
And the stereotype that fits us like any made up lie
That an iris could ever affect the person behind the eyes

She shaped me
And molded me
As I laid numb
She stole my soul
An amount of gold
And of course
She had her fun
And now
The strings of my life
Dangle from her hands
I am but a piece of wood
Formed to be her man

Things have been rearranged
There're not as they were
Universal disruptions
Right here on earth
Memory recalls
Stripped from our minds
Where ever life leads me
I note it in rhyme!

Two rough looking fellows
On their way down
**** and ******
In their vehicle was found...
A feeling of sadness
Because that was once me
Oh how twisted
City life can be...
And then a young mother
I've been her before
A broken ******
With love at the core...
A slave to madness
Chasing a rush
Strange how fast a life
Down the toilet can flush!

I've come to realize
I need to write
Every word a breath of light
Every thought a burning flame
Every struggle
Down the drain...
I need to convey
These parts that rhyme
It's how I keep
My heart in line
..................................

Shake it off
And leave it lay
That was way back yesterday
You wrote it down
Said your say
So now....
It's time to write
Again today!

I pretend
Everything is fine
That's the secret
That gets me by...
But truth is lately
Things been really ******
A serous lost of love and trust
There's a hole in my soul
The place where my life's blood flows
And empties alone...
Lost in the night
Even reason's teeth
Enjoys a bite
Still I pretend
Everything will be alright!

If I attempted to expose
My many dysfunctions
With words that simply rhymed
My heart would surely ache
As I committed to relate
The faults in my weary mind
What I'm really trying to say
Between these lines is where I fade
And so I survive another day!

Stacks of memories
In a recycle bin
Pulling 'em out
Putting 'em in

Remember whens
Where we like to go
Never forget 'ers
Imprinted on soul

Lost in piles of files in flesh
Moments we were not at our best
Dark nights come and slowly fade
Until grey matter triggers spark replay

Up front the nows
The essence of living
The thankfuls to be
The resentful misgivings

The never forgets
Forgives and regrets
All the wins, the losses
The deaths
  
Yet there's still plenty of room
For those good memories
We haven't made yet...

Such deviated courses
This poetic passion seeks
Driven by forces
From nature to beast
Tempered and nurtured
From unleavened to yeast
Bought and then sold
Judas to Priest

To and fro
The heart we know
Off the beaten path  
With soul in toll
Fro and to
Right and then left
Any which way
More or less...

When we finally find
Our fostered ways
It's always prime time
For another maze...

Being
High on a hill
Don't make us divine
Looking down
The spirit goes blind
Say what you believe
Believe what you see
Until you come down
And set the clouds free
.........

It don't matter
Where I land
Two strong feet
Stay I can
I love people
My smile is real
I love life
Especially when
Kindness kills
I know worry
It'll make one ill
An open heart
Could save a world
.......................................

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XcN12uVHeQ

I believe my truck
Is still in the driveway
Where I parked it
Last night...

I'm always afraid
I'm never sure why
I simply push my
Irrational fear's
Down deeper inside

Dreaded night
One eye open
Nightlight on
Shadows dancing
Into the dawn

But in the day
That's when I pray
All of this beauty
Please let me stay!

A wise man
Once tried to teach me
If all else seems to fail
Listen to the universe
The wisdom that it tells
The voices within
The white noise
Unfolding like a spell
The vibration illuminates
The reasons for your hell
Open up your spirit's eye
See what can't be seen
This is only temporary
All this suffering
........

It's simple
My Achilles' heel
Is being alone
No place to run to
Or call my home...
No friends
No lover
Just me alone
Under cold covers
Trying to stay ******...
Tossing and turning
Trip through the night
No one there to hog the blankets
No one there to hold me tight...
As I limp through another flight
With my Achilles'heel
Still I fight!

Alone in this world
Is how I begin
Invisible beings
I come to depend
With belief so strong
Right led wrong
I fell to my knees
And cursed along
But it's
Too contradictory
To travel there
Mindsets that lead
Us to old fashion fears
Alone with beliefs
Of being alone
That's the true hell
That keeps me ******!

In days cut short
Of warn out soul
While immortality
Insist on growing old

Through tired eyes
Too dim to see
When from this evil night
My soul shall flee

How quickly
A simple smile fades
There shall be
No comfort, nor praise
Ridicule nor disdain
No eyebrow raised
In the bitter end
Of my days

All but love
Shall not delay
When the spirits
RIP my soul away
The harbinger's words
The curse of life
This has been a losing fight

There shall be
No comfort for me
No I don't believe...

Keep your secrets
As long as you can
Keep your secrets
From your best friends...

Keep your *****
In the dark
Out of sight
That's if your smart!

No reason to lie
No reason to tell
Keep your secrets
It's your own Hell!

I for one am not ready
To expire in some final end
Imagine a futures
That somehow actually bends!

Multiverses?
Where our lost parts exist
Our over all identities
The parts that we resist

Without which we are far
From being whole
Across time and space
It is not a race
To come together
With our over all soul!

Woke up this morn
Everything felt right
Oh how I wish
With all my might
To leave behind
The burdens in tow
All that disturbs me
Let it all go
But then again
I've been here before
Running from demons
That cling to my core
......

Forgetful mindedness
And a feeling of dread
Suffocating poetic thoughts
Upon my bed

Morning words
My poetic views
Write them down
Break the rules

Every word
Every rhyme
Every passion of my mind
Written down
Line by line
Written down
And
Lost in time
....................

Oh, oh please don't go
Give me one more try, please!
I'll try, I'll try to believe
Close my eyes, pretend not to see
Let your heart bleed
Bleed into me
Turn, turn my aura green
I can handle it
I'm a machine
Just a thing...
Trying to be
A human being
....

The rules I follow
Straddle the lines
Too far left
This right foot of mine
If it leads to hate
You can count me out
Love is the only Lady
I long to mount!

You know
That strange girl
She always seemed
A little spaced out
Like she was lost or something
I always wondered why...
Now it seems
I've become her!

Embarrassing to admit
This time of year
Your cold memories
Control my gift...
Iced over thoughts
Of all I have lost
Along slippery ways
Back in your
Coldest day's...
February you are my curse's
Each time around
Seem's to get a little bit worse
Somewhere between
Christmas and spring
I tend to write
Really dark themes
February?
Of all the months
In a single year
How did you trap
My weary heart here?

It's happen before
But there was always
A reason..
A bitter ending or sudden change
The heart breaking season..
Loss of children
Loss of freedom
Even trust
Turned to treason..

But not this time
I should be fine
I've worked so hard
On this love of mine

I'll be alright
I'll be fine
Meditation
Will helps keep me
Inline!

Mighty are the winds
In their invisibility...
Wickedly blowing
All around me...
I am but an island
In a mighty storm
Of needs...

Living
Resentful lies
Somehow we survive...
Invisibility keeps me alive
....

This next stanza
Would be to painful to write
So I'll use my invisible words
And hope everything
Turns out all right!

Dare you read this
And my truth be further known
I started out
The ******* child
A soul abused and alone
After four children
Of his own
I became the child
Father would not condone
The drunken *******
Was always ******

I found love out there on the streets
Always staying ******
With a young gang or
Friendly thief's
They taught me the ropes
How a city boy is supposed to cope
It's been
Eight years now, out of the pen
I look back and cringe
It all started in a place called
Flint.......

I am blind to the future
I have lost foresight...
I've been running
From my past
Like a coward
From a fight...
I have so little left
I've lost most all...
A voices inside
For tell my fall...
The end grows nearer
As the poison sets in...
  Imagine hate
That never mends
 Still I must forgive
      How and when ever I can.........

Shake it off now
And just hold on
Keep reaching
For the dawn
A spark of life
Brand new seeds
Water with love
And just breathe

Involuntarily
My subconscious
Mind speaks
All that I've "let go"
Down below
Still creeps
Invisible as a ghost
Stuffed into place
All my brokenness
Slaps in the face
Forgotten imprinted
Carved into my soul
All of my losses
Tightly in tow
.....

If I could be
Simply myself
For just a moment
Or two....
Nothing fancy
Just what you can't see
Expose my ignorance to you

All my secrets open and known
Like...
God how I love to always stay ******!
All my laundry, there on the floor
    ***** dishes, no room for more......

Oh and sometimes I lie!
For insistence...
Nothing I wrote above
Is allowed in my life
I am obsessed with being clean
***** dishes? Laundry
I have two different machines

But I do love to smoke buds
After all, truth is
Writing ******
Is my love!!!

This poison
She has me on
Black magic spell
Now be gone
Return the Poet
To his pen
Dancing fire
White candle
Mend!!!!

Positively
I want to be me
I possess a loving heart
And gifted eyes to see

And somewhere between
The physical and unseen
There exist an over whelming
Need to be free
To love beyond the seas
Sometimes I wonder
Am I on my own team?

Although it's saddening
To feel self suffering
The suffering in our world
Makes my empathy bleeds

And yet
I have hope
And send it
Upon the breeze.....

I had been running from
My shadow's for far too long
And so I tried to stop
And take a right
To fix what's wrong
I had to learn to get along

But
These ghost of mine
They share my soul
They refused to simply just
Let the past go

I burn a candle and meditate
But all my magic is tied to fate
The time to pay
Is actually here
I keep my love
And passion near
.......

If I offered it all
Upon the alter
There’d only
Be ashes left
So I hold tightly to
This fading light
With every
Gasping breath

I dreamt the dreams
And touched the touch
I’ve Stumbled through
The darkness
Of love’s tainted trust
And here upon
My own two feet
Beginning again
Who shall I meet?
Optimism
Keep's me alive!

Way back when
I use to believe
Things got even worse

Assigning judgement
To all my grief
Such a deep regretful curse

There had to be
A reason why
So I said my prayers
And refused to lie

Wisdom comes
In burning flames
As the fire's of Hell
Consume your lame

And all that remains
Is a need to love
In a lifetime set free
From those eye's above...

(10 WORDS)
)-;
My disturbance deepens
As her lying covers up her cheating

I find my beliefs
Are mostly inline
With the far LEFT
But you know
Every once in a while
I agree with the RIGHT
In fact fear dictates
I wish I had a hand gun tonight

Must I represent
The evil in this world
My empathy engulfs
Every soul that toils
To be accepted
With due respect
I would give my love
And my life

Sure I am of the pigment white
My ancestors aimlessly struggled
But couldn't put things right
Because they lacked
Humanitarianism
Something in their bible
“No offence” talk about schism
A map that embraced human slavory-ism
And so...
I consider thinking left
As an evolutionary state
A way to clean the slate!

Talked with my psychologist today
Come to find out
I am afraid of being sober!
I experience my emotions
Far too intensely
I begin to hyperventilate
White noises fills my head
Involuntary muscle spasms
Heart pounding in my chest
Deep breaths, meditation
Better yet medication
My empathy is an open wound
  Quiet! Concentrate on your legs......

Once
In an attempt
To just let go
I burred all my pain
Way down below
Below my conscience
Within my soul
Never knowing
The price in toll

Please
Take my word
Inner peace
Is made of glass
When it breaks
It can kick your ***

So now I search
A different way
To return my pain
To it's proper place
To accept my broken
To bear life's weight
To take the reins
And rejoin the race
........

( No seriously?)
I have two close black friends
Yet it make me feel proud that
Black men can be my intellectual equals.
Why because they're back?
Is a black face a presumed stigma  
Pry open my third eye

Here in this corner
Of my private Hell
Far to long
But yet I dwell
In time warps of mind
Crossing through lines
I forget so much
Most of it kind
Suddenly a flash
But just a glimpse
Faint memory
But just a hint...

I've been lying
I'm not really him....
I never go anywhere
But then again...(-;

Traveling takes courage
And this road is a crazy maze
No one ever just simply
Stops and just forever stays

But if you ever need
Or if in longing want
My love is alive
As an everglades swamp

Snakes, alligators
Catfish stew
I will love you
If that's cool!

Sorry I lied
The Traveler is real
But in the Everglades
Our truths get sealed

If I have to lie
About anything
Count me out
For now on
Truth is what
I'm all about

Get off my back
I have it here
I'm not hiding
This ******* beer

I'm not lying anymore
I am a lonely type of *****

I don't want you
But I'm in need
Will you hold me
While I bleed?

Catch the whiplash
Of my soul
I need more love
Than you could ever know!

I refuse to just simply lay down
Unfortunately
In my own truth
Is where I drowned
,,,,,,/.....

For now on
Make no mistake
My  heart is condemned
To this hurtful stage

No one gets scared
Or I will of course run
Then again
For now on
    I need “no one”.....

It was 14
Degrees below
Today
In Hell Michigan
I'm talking hell
Literally froze!

Dear lady
I must warn
I am dented
Beyond repair
The point is simply
I've been kicked
Every-*******-where
I've lost worlds
Crashed and burnt
I've lost a dozen fights
Dare cheek I turn

But one thought of you
My heart skips a beat
Please be careful
Of what you seek!

I have nothing to say
This world is not going my way
Where I'm broken
No words can be spoken
No thoughts
No prognosis
No haircut
No shave
****!
Forgot to take a bath
Again today!

There's to much
To discuss
Within a poem
There's a lacks of trust
Unfortunately
Writing
For me
Is a must
So I share and rust!