i. knocking on wood when a terrible thought comes up
ii. cutting fresh flowers to all the same lengths
iii. listening to the static on the radio
iv. reaching out of the car window into the air
v. holding my breath at every cemetery I pass by
vi. writing letters then burning them in the most dramatic way
vii. tracing loops on lovers backs
viii. falling asleep with the candle still lit
ix. morning coffee followed by morning coffee breath
x. running out into the street while it rains
xi. early morning flights too a new start
xii. stopping at every crack in the side walk
xiii. wearing a wrist watch
xiv. dictating strangers eyes
xv. falling in love with the moon over and over again

what does it all mean too you?

That **** Polaroid picture
      Sent my head spinning again

You were once my idea of a perfect life
You once held my mind in captivity
But I’ve found a new life out here
A new idea of a perfect life
One without you
There was a hole in my chest
But it’s filled with this desire now
This amazing idea that if I work my hardest for these last two years
If I push and push and never stop
I will create a life for myself
Out in the only place I’ve ever felt at home

Sometimes we fall
We break,
We move on,
Or we stay because we are afraid,  
We shatter the only thing we’ve ever known,
And it could be a because of a complication,
unfortunate events,
Or one simple thing.
Something like the truth
Mine was that you’d never love me
We won’t work
It’s not gonna happen
And for so long I struggled to swallow those words
I went back and forth from loving you directly
Then too loving you from a distance
For four years I have loved you
And this is my goodbye
Here it goes :
You once told me the way you get through life is too hold your head down and keep pushing through the problem until eventually you don’t feel anything. But I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m gonna keep my head up and I’m gonna smile. I’m gonna laugh and I’m going to work through what I’ve had to deal with. Not by ignoring it but by facing it. Through out all this time I’ve been afraid you’d leave and I’d be alone but the truth is you were never really here and what has been my extensive thought of what love is
Has been me alone.
but you
my love,
will always hold a part of my heart. you will always have the part of myself i put into you. the part of myself i first learned to love.
you let go and even though i have taken my time, its time for me to let go too.
no more of your witty jokes or captivating smile
hands finding each other, lips locking together
late night calls
the moments that makes us who we are
ill still listen to that song and try to feel you out there
but believing us leaves me disconsolate
you were never mine too have nor keep
neither was i ever yours.
i used to see you in everything i touched
but i will no longer be looking.
i wish you the best in life and that you are happy
as i should.
the world will keep turning and my life will go on
as it should.
ciao

I stayed alive for this moment
Driving 90 downtown on a bridge in Vancouver
Dark blues in the sky transition into greens
The Sun is dancing it’s last few minutes on stage
The air smells like lavender
My hair is whipping back and forth
Windows open
Music blasting
Not a care in the world

I’ll leave you like glass
Slowly
But to one who doesn’t understand my properties
I look as if I’m not moving
Until one day I’m not there