Disregard anything I say.
Write and write
Philosophical ideas
Opinions, contradictions
Fake news and constrictions
The river and forest, love and emotion
Printing with thought and handling devotion
Conquering the pen and the art of life
Relatable hatred, melancholy, strife.
Yes, the worldly things are all accounted for
But what of the things we don’t already know?
Have you thought about that?
Anything different from the words of our poems
Not the unknown but farther past that,
Have you thought?
Something that contradicts the very laws of the lead from a pencil
Or keys on a computer
Far behind relatable, or history.
Far ahead of imagination
Have you thought?
No, few minds have gone past the supposed boundaries humanity has set forth for everyone on earth.
Try to think of a new color
A new smell
A new taste,
Indifferent from anything you’ve already experienced.
Think, think!
Or can you not, has your brain failed you?
Try again;
Think of the sky if it was not
Or the sun if it was the sky
But green
And filled with leaves from the autumn wind
If it was not wind
Think of not as if it was sure
And grasp hold of possibilities
If they were tiny pebbles in your hand.
Break the barrier, if you dare
But I bet you are already making assumptions in your mind
“Impossible” “Crazy” “Nope”
These walls will only build taller.
But break through them, I know you can’t, but try. Try anyway.
Or disregard anything I say.
Make new, whatever it means to you.

Itchy white sweater
A day before December
Bells are ringing,
Ringing, singing
“Hallelujah, Hallelujah”
The people are singing
Commotion and speed walking, don’t be late!
The first day of advent,
2 lowly snowflakes falling
Too early,
And they disintegrate into the cement.
Statues of angles, and Jesus, our savior.
The bells stop ringing
And begins, “Our father who art in heaven..”
My tongue knows what to say
But we are all silent in our sin
Sinning, remorse.
Then, miraculously
He cries
Or maybe it’s a she
A Little baby.
But their cry gives a weight to the words
“Our kingdom come”
Faces turn, including mine, all guilty
While the one crying has nothing on their record.
“Thy will be done”
Their mother is smiling, stressed, shushing her bundle of joy
Who’s singing sweetly for them, for us.
Crying, pouting
Peace in the innocence of her tears
Like those 2 little snowflakes that came alone, brave
Before their harsh, downcast winter storm
“As we forgive those,”
Voices fade
“Who trespass against us”
And light pours upon the sweet child
Loving arms hold her tight, away from everything around.
Time moves fast.
“And lead us not into temptation..”
Their cry becomes desperate, louder
The mother is pleading, “shh, shh, it’s okay.”
And I die inside.
Little baby sneezes
Then pouts, again.
The cry, carrying the problems of all
Every insult,
“But deliver us from evil.”
Every regret.
“Amen.”
Every forced smile and somber moment.
And everything sits down,
All the stars in the sky,
For the poor, poor child.
No worry in those eyes,
I wish she wouldn’t stop crying
For the evil in the world.
My heart cries along with her
And together we are reassured that love exists.
“Hallelujah,
Hallelujah.”

Back from class
Now middle of day
Coming back to it
I don’t want to stay
This place, it’s purpose to be a home
But to me it’s just a house;
I turn to music for relief
An escape from life lessons
And long conversations
Of long term subjects
Or avocations
I don’t want the future
So I’ll look to the past
But even those memories
Could never last.
Left turns to right
Down starts going up,
Confusion sets in
Then fear follows
My heart realizes it’s spent
All this time hollow
Like a lost boy in a winter storm
clinging to a small fire for heat
Until it snuffs out,
Freezing, and accepting defeat
To the assault of this cold, cold world.

Restrained from hope
But retrained from fear

A sense of trying to grab into reality
Yes into,
As I’m out of it
As it slips through my fingertips
Like a thought could trigger fatality

Rivers running down my cheeks
But I can’t feel them
The sea salt scent trailing into my nostrils
But I can’t smell

Trembling from loss of light
Though a purge of blinding light
is within my heart
Telling a story
Of Already wilting flowers
being cut from their stem
Before being given another chance
Before they realize they’re wilting

Now I can’t think of anything at all
Except my shadows running across the wall
Like it’s frightened
Of me,
A madman
A sacrificial lamb

Scared of what I am
And what I may become.

Knock knock,
On the door.
I want to be alone

With each pound,
A little light breaks through
Giving me a glimpse
Of the tall shadows I choose to live with

The knocking becomes desperate
I can feel the urgency in the constant sound
Of wood splintering
I don’t want to move.

My shadows give me comfort
The light is too frightening to be in.
Why can’t they stop knocking?

They begin to kick
And kick,
The door remains
As if un phased by the toil of them
Who want me out

Why do they bother,
I’m okay here.
I assume.

The knocking slows to a stop

and one last, soft and barely heard
Tap
Somehow shakes me to my core.
Knocking my door to the ground.

The tall shadows are whisked back into the dark

The wood is filled with vines,
Burnt and corroded

And as I peer into the blinding light

I see blood dripping down
my own hands.